Remember my recent post about my father? Last Monday, October 23, my father passed away.
I didn’t visit him once in the hospital. As I’ve said before, no contact means no contact, no matter what. It’s been very hard though. I wished I could’ve said goodbye, but I knew not doing so was my only option. Every time I doubted & asked God if I should go, not only would He tell me no, signs came out of everywhere telling me not to go. It was pretty incredible! He told me mentally & physically, I couldn’t take it. The stress as well as the vicious people involved would be too much for my mental & physical health. Even so, staying away was still hard. Apparently it bothered others as well judging by the many hateful messages I’ve gotten from people who don’t even know me. Little did I know that more was happening, & staying away truly was the right thing to do in many ways, not just for myself.
I’ll discuss it in more detail in the next post, but I received a word of knowledge that my father was born again at the very end of his life. Me staying away was a part of why that happened, because it meant my father finally cried out to God.
The reason I’m telling you this, Dear Reader, is not only to give you an update, but also to let you know that God is truly good & faithful. If you know in your heart He wants you to do or not to do something, listen to it! Even if you don’t understand why, know He has a very good reason. Don’t cave into pressure from anyone! They don’t know your situation because they haven’t lived it- why would their input have any value? They also aren’t you, so even if they know your situation, they would handle it differently because you two are different people. They don’t know your heart & mind well enough to know what is best for you. God, however, does. Listen to & trust Him & only Him! He is well worth listening to & trusting!
Also, never give up praying for someone. You may not see them give their life to Jesus, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t do it. It happened with my father one hour before he died, while comatose. If that was possible, isn’t anything possible? After all, Matthew 19:26 says, “But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.” (KJV)
Cynthia Bailey-Rug, Christian Author 
Am in a very similar situation right now, so your words could not have come at a better time. Much needed validation for the tough decision I am currently facing.
After making mental lists in my head regarding the pros & cons & the “what ifs?” truthfully, there is no good to come out of it for me. No matter how well intentioned my showing up would be. At the end of the day, I refuse to give anyone the platform to abuse me. 45 years was more than enough of that…..The last hours won’t suddenly change anything.
At the end of the day, I am left with knowing God knows the TRUTH about our family, as well as my heart & intentions. And that has to be enough. He is enough. Learning to live for an audience of One. Easier said than done, but necessary.
Would not wish this misery on anyone, but am thankful for people (like yourself) who are brave enough to share your truths & help pave the way for the rest of us.
I am very sorry for your loss. Thank you again for sharing your story.
God bless,
Amy
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I’m so very sorry you’re going through this, Amy. It’s tough for sure. I wouldn’t wish this one anyone either. You’re doing the right thing & listening to your heart & leaning on God.
Thank you for your kind words.. may God bless you too! ❤
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Thanks for your post, Amy. My circumstances are so similar that I could have written it word for word. Like you and Cynthia I can see no good will come of that final goodbye because of the malice of those who have hurt me and those who enabled them. That hasn’t changed and isn’t likely to. But if it does I know that God will direct my actions as He has yours and Cynthias.
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We read and hear a lot about how God uses difficult circumstances to bless His children. Sometimes it’s not so obvious, but your experience with the death of your father is the equivalent of a flashing red light. Not only did God use this terribly difficult and painful experience to demonstrate His love for you, but He used it to bless all of us who are in, or will be, similar circumstances. And you were the conduit for that blessing, Cynthia, because you were obedient to His leading and honest about it in your writing. Thank you, dear sister, for blessing us through your pain. I’m praying that God will continue to comfort you as you mourn this loss, to give you strength, and to protect you from all those who would use it to hurt you.
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Thank you so much, Suzanne, for your kind words & prayers. You’re so very kind. 🙂
There is actually a lot more to this story.. I’ll be sharing it in the very near future. I’m still a bit overwhelmed which is why I haven’t shared it yet. It’s hard to write about. It’s incredible how good God is!!
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My condolences, Cynthia.
I’m sorry it had to be this way for you even then, but I’m glad you were able to do what you knew was right for you.
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Thank you so much ❤
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