John 8:12 “Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.” (KJV)
We all know that light conquers darkness. If you were in a pitch dark room & lit a match, that tiny match would dispel a surprising amount of darkness.
Jesus referred to Himself in the above Scripture as the light of the world for a reason. Light also gives life- look at plants, as an example. Without light, they won’t survive. Like light, Jesus gives life- eternal life. If you follow Him, He will make clear what path to take in your life. He also can show you things you might not have noticed before. (If it wasn’t for Him, I don’t know if I’d know anything about narcissism.)
In your journey of healing from narcissistic abuse, have you asked the Lord to help you? He truly wants to! And, although even He can’t make it easy, He can help to make it less painful & difficult. I can tell you from my own experience, I wouldn’t be where I am now without His help. He’s shown me what I needed to do & how to do things. He’s answered my questions, let me rant when I was angry or hurting & comforted me when no one else could.
If you haven’t asked Jesus for help in your healing journey, maybe now is the time for you to do that. He wants to help, so let Him! Ask Him to show you what you need to do & how you need to do it. Ask Him for comfort, wisdom, strength, courage & anything else you need. He will be more than glad to help, so why not let Him?
Cynthia Bailey-Rug, Christian Author 
Cynthia, I so appreciate your references to allowing Jesus to work in our lives. Presently I am at a standstill. My husband of 26 years who has shown multiple subtle signs of (Covert) Narcissism (word salad, gaslighting, passive-aggressiveness, lying, lack of empathy, name calling, projection, instant rage at any kind of critisism) has recently started acting like someone who actually might love me and is doing nice things without me having to ask him to. This following my expressing to him back in August that I was not happy and trying to explain why. He did not validate my feelings of emotional abuse, declaring that he didn’t think that it was, but he did seem to change.
Now my dilemma is, at that time I was determined I was going to leave and divorce him, though I did not say that to him. I had prayed so hard about what to do after learning about this affliction called “narcissism” as I was convinced that was his case and I thought I felt God calling me to leave him and learn to love myself. I had signed up for on-line self healing classes and started working again to support myself.
I don’t know WHAT God is saying now. I don’t don’t if my husband is just Hoovering, intuitting my next move would be divorce, or if he has truly changed. I am so conflicted it makes my stomach hurt. So for right now I’ve decided to stay put but am still praying about it….HARD! Do you have any insights that might help me?
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Hi, Carla!
I’m sorry.. what an incredibly difficult situation!!
Well, the best I can think to tell you is to keep praying. Ask Him for clarity in hearing His voice. I think sometimes we get so confused, overwhelmed or emotional that it’s hard or impossible to hear God. You are going to need His wisdom to get through this situation, so it’s important you are able to hear His voice clearly.
Also, narcissists rarely change, but I think it’s possible even though it’s very unlikely. With God all things are possible, right? I’ve only known of one who improved. Your husband may be acting better to keep you, then he could go back to the bad behavior once he’s sure you’re staying. That’s the most common occurrence in these situations, unfortunately, so you need to be prepared for that possibility.
I’m sorry I can’t give you any clearer answers. It’s hard to say anything for sure without knowing you or your husband.
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I’m so sorry that you’re going through this, Carla. I agree with Cynthia that you should keep praying. And if you should choose to stay in your marriage there are only two things that will occur. Either your husband will continue to treat you well, or he will revert to his abusive ways. A N is capable of acting like a normal, decent person for only so long before their need for N supply drives them to abuse again. In your place I’d take a wait and see approach, but while you wait I’d continue my preparations to leave. I’d also consider that he is preparing as well, so that he has the upper hand when/if you decide to leave. Pay close attention, especially, to finances. If you don’t already have one open your own bank account in your name alone. Copy all financial records you have in common and be sure that you have his social security number (necessary to trace assets he may have hidden). Get your own important papers out of his reach and store everything where he can’t find or access them. If you can afford it buy a cell phone and laptop or tablet and don’t tell him about them. Store everything in a safe place where he can’t find them and make that place somewhere he’d never connect to you. If you rent a safety deposit box use a bank other than the bank where you have an account. Do everything possible to stay safe and keep records of anything that will demonstrate abuse. That way, if he reverts to his abusive ways, you’ll be prepared
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Reblogged this on THE WORLD GONE MAD.
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