Knowing Your Personality Type Can Help You, Even How You Heal From Narcissistic Abuse

I am obsessed with psychology.  I wonder why people do the things they do, what makes them tick.  I’m even hooked on the ID Channel & several of the true crime shows on that channel.


When a friend of mine told me about the MBTI test a couple of years ago, I was intrigued.  The Myers Briggs Type Indicator test is based on Carl Jung’s theory of personality types.  I took the test & when I read my results was shocked.  For the first time in my life, I realized I’m not the freak many people have said I am!  In fact, I’m quite typical of my personality type.  My type just happens not to be overly common.


Since that time, I’ve read a lot about my type & my husband’s as well.  It’s helped me so much to understand both of us better.  And, it helped me to understand the best ways to help myself heal from the narcissistic abuse I’ve experienced.  My type is pretty much even logical & emotional.  One thing that helps me is to understand the motivation behind the abuse.  I’ve come to understand why my parents are/were narcissists, why my father didn’t protect me from my mother’s constant abuse & that being a narcissist means everything they do is motivated by narcissistic supply.  Knowing all of that has helped me to understand completely that none of the abuse was my fault.  Realizing everything they do is motivated by gaining narcissistic supply also helped me when I was in relationship with my parents to be prepared for what they might do.  I could see things coming a mile away a lot of times so I wasn’t surprised when they happened.  I also figured out what I think my parents’ types were, which helped me to understand them better.  Granted most of our problems were due to their narcissism, but realizing that their personality types & mine were pretty much my polar opposite sure didn’t help the situation!  We just don’t really understand each other because our personalities are naturally very different.


Learning about your personality type can benefit you too, Dear Reader.  The more you understand yourself, the better you’ll be at finding ways to help you to heal.  It also helps you not to take the cruel criticisms to heart that your narcissistic parent said.  My mother in particular always made me feel like something was very wrong with me or I was crazy, so learning that I’m simply typical of my type was very freeing!


In case you’re interested, this is the test I took:


If you decide to take the test, then learn all you can about your personality type.  I find this site to be quite useful:


There is one last link I want to share with you.  This one is about the unhealthy side of each personality type.  I found this to be beneficial because it shows you what behavior you are prone to if you’re dysfunctional.


Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

17 responses to “Knowing Your Personality Type Can Help You, Even How You Heal From Narcissistic Abuse

  1. ibikenyc

    I learned within the last couple-three years that I am an INFJ but never thought to tie that into the N abuse issue. I’m sure it’ll be extremely helpful.

    Thank you for the links. I have the Personality Growth one open in another tab right now.

    (I can’t be the only one who is / will be wondering what type you are, but no doubt you have some compelling reasons for not telling us.)


    • I read some time ago that INFJs are the most commonly abused personality type. Interesting huh? I want to research exactly why that is..

      You’re welcome for the links.. I thought they were interesting!

      I’m an INFJ too. My compelling reason for not mentioning it was I didn’t think it was important in this article. Well, maybe that’s not so compelling after all.. lol I also don’t want to mention it often because I find some INFJs brag about it because the type is pretty rare. I don’t want to come across like them, acting like I’m super special.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Haha. I’m the same. If they are bragging, they probably aren’t true INFJ! 😁😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • ibikenyc

        So sorry for not acknowledging this sooner. I didn’t see it until just now.

        The short answer is that we are loyal to a fault and also intensely empathetic. Tie those into a Cluster-B upbringing, and you’ve got a perfect storm.

        I can’t IMAGINE your coming across as arrogant! I also feel like it seems VERY un-INFJ-like to brag about oneself, which makes me wonder if those folks you’re describing really are. . .

        (Now I’M worried about “judging” people you know!)


        • No worries.. I forgot all about saying what I did. LOL There are a couple of bonuses to brain damage- I forget if someone doesn’t respond to something I said & I don’t see a lot of reruns on tv.. lol

          That is true about us & the cluster Bs. It’s a perfect storm for sure.

          Thank you! I never want to come across arrogant. It is very un-INFJ to brag about oneself, I think. I wonder if the ones who do it somehow were able to work the test to give them an INFJ answer.

          LOL If you’re judging them, so am I, Ibikenyc! I wouldn’t worry.. some people act so odd it gets your attention, like it or not, & that’s how it was with the bragging INFJs for me. That just ain’t right!

          Liked by 1 person

          • ibikenyc

            I LOVE how you have a sense of humour about your circumstances! God Bless you!

            “I don’t see a lot of reruns on tv.” LOLOLOLOL!

            I know when I did the Meyers-Briggs test, there were a couple-few about which I was thinking, well, it would depend on the circumstances. I decided to answer in accordance with what I thought my response would be most of the time.

            No doubt someone could tweak their answers one way or another, leading IMO to a chicken-and-egg situation!

            BTW, I am BONE-weary of the current vernacular interpretation of “judging:”



            • LOL! Thank you! I figure it’s either get thoroughly depressed or find the humor in the brain damage where I can. Opting for the humor. Besides, it is kinda fun virtually never seeing reruns! lol

              That’s how I did the Myers Briggs test too. Figured that’d be the most accurate. But, I see how it could be tweaked to create a different response.

              OH YES!!! Judging & being judgmental are 2 different things in my opinion, but so many folks call judging (a necessary thing) being judgmental (being a jerk). It irks me like crazy!

              Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m an INFJ. I can not help but try to keep “helping”. Even after I’ve been burned multiple times, and yep, narcs seem to be drawn to me like moth to a flame. Or maybe it’s the other way around, I’m the moth, they are the flame….

    Liked by 1 person

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