Having Balance With Helping Others

The Bible talks a great deal about how we are to deal with other people.  One of those things it discusses is how we are to help each other when struggling.

 

Galatians 6 says these two things….

 

  • Galatians 6:2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (NIV)
  • Galatians 6:5  for each one should carry their own load.  (NIV)

 

At first glance, these Scriptures only a couple of verses apart may seem contradictory, but they really aren’t.  Verse 2 says we should carry each other’s “burdens” while verse 5 says each person should carry their own “load.”  Although the difference is slight between those words, it’s also significant.

 

According to merriam-webster.com, one meaning of burden is “something oppressive or worrisome.”  And, also according to merriam-webster.com, load means “a considerable amount.”  I take this to mean that in the context of these Scriptures, a burden is something excessively difficult or challenging to deal with while a load is a more typical struggle.  Trying to survive the pain of losing someone you love versus cleaning your house, as examples.

 

When you’re raised to only focus on the needs of your parents, you tend to grow up thinking it’s your job to take care of people while ignoring your own needs.  It’s terribly unhealthy!  These  Scriptures provide an excellent perspective on helping people.

 

When someone asks for your help, if they are suffering with a burden, then by all means, please help them if you feel God wants you to & you are able to do so.  However, if someone frequently wants your help for small things that they are well able to do themselves, then it’s not good to help them.  You are enabling them to be irresponsible by taking care of things they should take care of & to take advantage of you.  Let people carry their own “load”!  It truly is a more loving thing to do than to enable irresponsible behavior because it encourages them to do what is right- not using you or other people.

 

Many people won’t be pleased if you tell them you are unable or unwilling to help them, but that is not your problem.  I know, you will feel guilty at first, but please remember that in spite of what your narcissistic parent(s) taught you, your job is NOT to be responsible for everyone but yourself.  It’s unhealthy (mentally & physically) & out of balance to ignore yourself & your needs for others constantly!

 

Please remember, Dear Reader- you aren’t responsible for taking care of other people.  You are responsible for helping when you can when it is necessary only.  You have the right to say “no”.  God did not put you here to be used, but instead to be a blessing to others.

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6 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Christian Topics and Prayers, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

6 responses to “Having Balance With Helping Others

  1. KD

    Very interesting perspective. My initial thought, before so finished reading your post, was that perhaps it means we are each to carry a small part of others’ burdens when we are not overburdened ourselves. A sort of leveling of the load, so to speak. That “takes a village” mentality. I like what you say though, about not enabling. The thing I’m still curious about, however, is how one determines what constitutes a “burden” or just a struggle. I think these things exist on a continuum and what may be a burden for someone else, may only be a struggle for me, or vice versa. We may mean well but do damage unintentionally. I guess that’s where those with religion find solace and understanding through prayer and scripture.

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    • Hi, KD!

      I think if you see someone struggling with something, help them to carry that burden if you can. You may see another person with the same “burden” who isn’t struggling, & that person doesn’t need your help.

      Prayer & Scripture have been incredibly helpful for me with this topic. Being raised by narcissistic parents, it’s a reflex for me to want to help/fix people & those things have helped me to have more balance. Talk about a relief!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Trained to a caregiver, only in later life did I discover that self-care on many levels is essential to our well-being.

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  3. i know I am tired of seeing these constant useless gofundme accounts.I would never expect my friends and strangers to just hand me money.Many of them are rather frivolous…a vacation or some other unneeded expense.I think it’s ok in truly hard times,if you are trying to work and get ahead…but pay them back! I unfriended someone for that,and for political insults as well,recently.He hadn’t worked in over a year and wanted his friends to just give him $7500…seriously? And that wasn’t the first time he expected anything,at least not from me.I think it’s ok not to help sometimes

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    • Good point. Gofundme is a great idea but people do tend to abuse it sometimes. I can’t believe people would put it out there for something frivolous like a vacation! I’d be embarrassed to ask for money & no way I’d do it for something frivolous like that! To help me get money to get to a dying loved one maybe, but that’s as close as it would get to a vacation of all things. Sheesh..

      Regarding fb by the way..you might want to check out FB flufbusting purity. It’s a Chrome extension. You can set it up to block certain words & topics. I have mine set up to block anything about politics & sports. It’s made my news feed much more pleasant. Of course, this also means I rarely see anything from the political & sports enthusiasts, but that’s ok.. at least what I see is something I’m interested in & I’m missing out on the rants.

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