Praying For Others Can Be A Blessing

Some time ago, I wrote about the miraculous events that surrounded my father’s death last October.  (If you missed that post, I’d really like to urge you to read it now.  It’s quite a story!)

 

Recently I’ve been thinking about those events a lot.  One aspect of it in particular that is on my mind is how God told my friend to tell me never stop praying for my mother.

Looking at the situation now, her salvation seems utterly impossible.  She’s a narcissist.  We all know how they are- they know best about everything.  This makes them very closed off to listening to anyone tell them about salvation through Jesus, & my mother is no exception.  In fact, my mother has told me she has a “direct line” to God & “when she prays, God listens!”

*sigh*

 

This can be very discouraging.  On a positive note though, I also know what happened with my father which eliminates my discouragement.  While I know God is the One who did all the work to save my father, I prayed & asked many other people to pray for him as well.  Not trying to take any credit from God of course, but I do know that my prayers & those of others made a big difference for my father.  James 5:16 says, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”  (KJV, emphasis added)  

As my prayers & those of my friends made a big difference with my father, so can yours with the narcissist in your life.

I know, praying for someone who has hurt you is a very, very hard thing to do.  Like it or not though, as Christians, we are commanded to do so….

 

Matthew 5:43-48  “Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.  44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.  46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?  47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?  48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.”  (KJV)

 

I would guess these verses aren’t anyone’s favorites… lol  They certainly weren’t mine for a long time.  Then a few years ago, I felt that God wanted me to start to pray for some people who have been abusive to me.  Much as I didn’t want to, I did it anyway, even when I didn’t mean it because I was still angry with them.  As time passed though, it got easier.  Then I felt He wanted me to pray for more people who had abused me, then more.  At the current time, I am praying daily for a lot of people who have treated me terribly every single morning.   And you know something?  It’s not hard to do anymore.  In fact, I have an alarm set on my cell phone to ring each morning to remind me to pray, but even with my terrible short term memory, I usually remember to pray long before the alarm goes off.  Often even before I get out of bed in the morning.

Praying for these people is something I look forward to now.  Since I began to do so, I have felt closer to God than ever.  Even if I am angry at them at the time I pray for whatever reason, I know God appreciates the fact I’m trying to do as He wants in spite of how I feel.

It also has helped to release the anger I felt towards these people.  I can’t explain how it works, but somehow it does work!  Of course, if something new happens, I may get angry- that’s just normal- but at least I’m not walking around full of unforgiveness & bitterness anymore.  (For the record, this also doesn’t mean some people will be allowed back in my life- forgiveness does NOT equal reconciliation.  It means I released the anger I felt at them, period.  Trusting them again would be foolish unless their actions changed dramatically.)

I’ve also realized that maybe no one else prays for them.  Have you ever considered that about the narcissist in your life?  I thought about this after my ex husband’s mother passed away in 2010.  She was a devoted Christian, but I am unsure if any other of his relatives are.  Since he said he didn’t believe in God, it’s safe to assume he didn’t seek out Christian friends.  There is an excellent chance he has no one praying for him aside from me!  That to me is heartbreaking!  And, if it could happen with him, it could happen with others as well.  So many narcissists claim to be atheists & have no patience for Christians so they don’t exactly surround themselves with them.  You may be the only person who prays for that narcissist in your life!  I tell you this not to make you feel obligated or guilty somehow- it’s just a simple fact & it may be possible in your situation.

 

I know it’s hard to pray for someone who has hurt you so deeply as only a narcissist can, but please, Dear Reader, try it.  Hopefully you’ll see the results of your prayers in that person’s life.  If you don’t, however, you can rest easy knowing you did the right thing, you can enjoy the new closeness to God & feel better with less anger inside of you!

 

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6 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Christian Topics and Prayers, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

6 responses to “Praying For Others Can Be A Blessing

  1. I needed to read this, and the post about your dad’s death, which I also just read. Thank you for being here, thank you for blogging, and thank you for writing and sharing your wisdom and experience.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. In my FOO I am the only born-again follower of Jesus. This knowledge persuaded me to tolerate their abuse for a long time and kept me from going NC. I didn’t know that I could love and pray for them from a distance. Of course, they don’t consider it love that I have gone NC with my mother and they don’t know that I pray for their salvation. But I do pray for them regularly. And like you I’ve found that praying for people who have hurt me is good for me, too. It has helped me not to be bitter or resentful, although as you said those things can well up again in the face of fresh abuse. But overall I believe that prayer for them has helped me, perhaps more than it has helped them. And even though I’ve not seen an answer to those prayers yet I keep praying for them, as I pray for all the unsaved ones God has brought into my life.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pretty sure many of us have made that same mistake, thinking tolerating their abuse is love. It doesn’t help when they reaffirm that nonsense as so many narcissists do! Thank God He teaches us we can love & pray for them from afar!!

      Good for you, praying for them all! Hopefully you’ll see your prayers answered, but even if not, isn’t it good for you knowing you prayed for them no matter what? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. jarwithaheavylid

    You’re explaining A Course in Miracles. Have you done it? I’m on Day 43 – I invite you to come along for the ride. I’m on Instagram at @light_healing.. I post the teachings every day. You can also follow the course if you google ‘a Course in Miracles for dummies lesson X’. Thomas Wakechild is a brilliant teacher and has notes to all the lessons.

    Marianne Williamson is a big proponent of the course. She has an interview about her book on YouTube called Everyday Grace. 🙏

    Like

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