I have just published my newest book, “When A Narcissistic Parent Dies.” As the title suggests, the book is about when a narcissistic parent dies- what the adult child can expect to experience & feel, ways to cope, flying monkey attacks, & things to think about such as should you be involved in caregiving, should you say good bye or attend the funeral.
It’s available in print & ebook form at the following link: http://cynthiabaileyrug.com/Books-For-Sale.php
Cynthia Bailey-Rug, Christian Author 
Reblogged this on Talmidimblogging.
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Congratulations!
Thank you for addressing what has to be one of the biggest (potential) minefields of them all.
And: Happy Easter!
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Thank you so much!! I believe you’re right about it being potentially one of the biggest minefields (great way you said that!). Never would have thought it would be so horrific until my father died. I had to learn a lot fast, & figured since there’s virtually no information out there on the topic, it was time for this book.
Wishing you a happy Easter as well! xoxo
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Thank you for the compliment on my choice of literary device 🙂 To quote Ed Norton, “Sometimes the phrase just fits!”
Both my parents died, unexpectedly and young, when I was still in my twenties: My mother in February of 1985, and my father on Fathers’ Day 1987.
I was front and center at both funerals but don’t recall any flying-monkey (or any other) attacks / tactics, except for my one uncle (mother’s brother) who screwed me, long and hard, in (very short version) a financial transaction, sneering openly in my face all the while because he KNEW he was wrong and was LOVING every minute of his getting over.
(Decades ago I somehow understood and essentially accepted that it was just one of those things that he’d have to explain at The Pearly Gates.)
It has been only very recently that I’ve come to understand the exact nature and extent of the dysfunction in which I was thrown up.
Painful, yes, but I am mostly profoundly grateful that I ever found out at all. Usually I feel like I’ve been given the chance to do it all over, the RIGHT way this time!
Thank you VERY much for your wisdom about and devotion to the topic. Your observations have been immeasurably comforting and helpful.
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LOL That’s so very true! Sometimes the phrase just fits! 🙂
Wow.. you were so young to lose both parents! That’s rather unusual!
Probably you didn’t have the flying monkey attacks because at the time, you didn’t realize the truth of the situation. You were still in the fog of abuse. When you realize the truth & *gasp* speak out about it, that seems to open all the doors to the flying monkeys. Just my thoughts anyway.
Yes, your uncle is going to have a lot to answer for! That sort of thing like he did to you isn’t going to be pleasant to explain one day! Awful he screwed you over like that! Typical narcissistic behavior- they think they deserve anything they want simply because they want it. Amazing…
lol You sound like an INFJ with being glad you found out the truth about your “throwing up”. (another phrase that just fits!) It really is a relief though isn’t it? Prior, at least for me, it was just wondering what was wrong & how could I fix it. It’s a miserable way to live. It really baffles me that people would rather live in denial than face the truth.
Thank you so very much for your kind words, my friend. ❤
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No, no; thank YOU! (Ad infinitum; LOL!)
He had that conversation, oh, sometime within the past five? six? years; I stumbled upon his obituary a little while back.
The No-Flying-Monkeys thing I think was also that there WEREN’T any. I haven’t yet given this a whole lot of thought, but it was like we three (I am an only child) were VERY “insulated” from the extended family, with the exception of that one uncle and his lot, who were of the “You can’t SAY anything” stripe.
Like, well-mannered to a fault.
So the more-distant (geographically and emotionally) family just weren’t ENMESHED in that way and were actually quite loving and helpful at the time and for quite a while afterward. In retrospect, I believe they just didn’t SEE the reality of the situation.
Of course, neither did I, you are right, so there was nothing TO tell. I was, frankly, relieved to be out from under her thumb.
(I will admit that I am horrified and scared to actually “say that out loud,” but that’s how I felt.)
Hadn’t thought of it as an INFJ Thing; thanks for that insight. I’ll have to stick it in the hopper, here.
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LOL! You’re welcome then, ad infinitum! lol
I don’t envy your uncle for that conversation.. that’s a lot to answer for!
I understand. As a fellow only child of 2 narcissists, I get it. You’re very insulated for sure. It’s just creepy.
Maybe it’s a good thing your extended family didn’t see the dysfunction. Much of mine saw some of it & were still vicious when my father died. If yours had seen at least some of it, they may have turned on you like mine did me. Hard to say though!
Amazing isn’t it, how hard it can be to “say” that sort of thing even after the danger has long since passed. That narcissistic training goes deep.
You’re welcome. I’m not always good at spotting signs of all personality types, but I do recognize INFJ & INTJ traits pretty well (hubby’s an INTJ).
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I’m not sure I’d call my father a full-blown narcissist, but he was WITHOUT A DOUBT a textbook Borderline.
Additionally, my mother had strong codependent traits, at least around him (and her own mother, a MISTRESS of snarky manipulation), and that part of her meshed just perfectly with his episodic alcoholism.
A psychological NIGHTMARE, facets of which I have managed to replicate — and / or outdo — in every single romantic relationship I’ve ever had.
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A psychological nightmare for sure! How you turned out to have any sanity after that environment growing up & in romantic relationships, I’ll never know!
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Just found your site and am relieved to find that you are a Christian, and have written about Narcissistic parents getting worse as they age. I will definetly be buying your ebooks! Have recently been retraumatized by my elderly father about my faith. Have decided to go LC for a while and shore myself up with self care. I wonder if you might comment about how continued feelings of worthlessness can impact one’s trust in Jesus when one has CPTSD?
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He is also in decline and I know that his death will be a complicated, confusing time, so I am very grateful to have found your blog!
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Very sorry to hear about your father! Yes, his death will definitely be very complicated & confusing. It can be a lot harder than expected. You’ll need to stick close to God like never before. I wish you the best! ❤
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Hi there!
Thank you! I’m trying to cover topics about narcissism that aren’t all that talked about, like how they get worse as they age & when they die. People need that information so desperately!
Oh my.. I’m sorry about what happened with your father! Low contact sounds like an excellent idea.
I think feeling worthless definitely impacts faith. You don’t feel worthy of God’s love or blessings. I have found though that the more healing you do, the more the feelings of worthlessness dissipate. Your self esteem naturally increases as you heal, whether or not you focus on it specifically. And, as that happens, your faith can increase. Also, never forget to ask Him to increase your faith! He really will! I do that pretty often, & my faith is strong 🙂
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