How Narcissists Use Social Media

Narcissists are experts at using any tool at their disposal to victimize a person of their choosing or to gain their coveted narcissistic supply.  Social media is an excellent way to accomplish these things.

Social media provides an excellent way for a narcissist to stalk, harass  & victimize you.  I’ve been on the receiving end of being harassed this way.  One stalker kept liking my Facebook writing page, even though I repeatedly deleted & banned her.  Somehow she found a way to like it anyway!  I eventually shut the page down & created a group instead, which turned out to be much better anyway.  You don’t need a page for this to happen though- your personal social media pages can provide a wealth of information.  Be sure to keep personal information either off your page entirely or make absolutely certain your settings are set so only your friends can see it.  Any personal information can be used by the wrong person to victimize you.

Triangulation is also possible on social media.  If someone on your friends list doesn’t know your history with your narcissist, that narcissist may send that person a friend’s request, your friend becomes your narcissist’s friend, that person may innocently share all kinds of private information about you.  Or, maybe your friend knows the story & believes you wronged your narcissist.  That “friend” may decide to side with the narcissist, & provide personal information about you with your narcissist so that person can abuse you.

Social media can enable a narcissist to gain plenty of narcissistic supply.  Have you ever noticed when someone shares a selfie how many people tell that person how great they look?  The person could have just come in from a rainstorm but people will say how great they look.  For narcissists, this is supply.  Who doesn’t like to hear how great they look?!  Narcissists take it much farther though.  They crave complements like oxygen.

Narcissists also can bully & provoke others on social media very easily.  They say offensive comments, lie or at least exaggerate to get a response.  They also can sniff out any vulnerability in a person very easily.  All they have to do is see a hint of some area in which a person is sensitive, & they attack.  Victim pages & groups are great for this.  They may join a group, for example, saying they too are a victim of a narcissist.  They’ll tell a story about a tragic childhood or marriage, or they may simply hint at it, saying it’s too difficult to talk about.  When others in the group discuss their experiences though, the narcissist will say their’s is so much worse, shaming the other person.  Or they may say they escaped an abusive relationship & shame others who are still involved in one.

Social media can be a wonderful way to keep up with your loved ones & meet new friends.  You just have to exercise wisdom in using it, especially if there are any narcissists in your life.


Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Mental Health, Narcissism

4 responses to “How Narcissists Use Social Media

  1. Scarlett

    This is a HUGE reason why I don’t have any social media anymore. I did for years and I felt like somehow the people who I was trying to block out would work their way back into my life. I think social media is great for some people, but I actually love not having it anymore.

    Liked by 3 people

    • That is totally understandable! If I didn’t do what I do & needed social media to promote my work, I might not have it myself because of the narcissists I’ve dealt with.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Scarlett

        That makes total sense! It is very useful for that! I originally deleted Facebook first because I felt like so many people were rude all the time, even ones who were nice in person to me. It was confusing and frustrating. I think if I used it again it would be for work too. I think I am done with the personal pages though.

        Liked by 2 people

        • It really is.. I think most of the attention my site & blog have gotten are a result of social media.

          Oh geez, yes.. I know what you mean. So many people have what I call internet balls- they will say anything online, no matter how rude, but they’d never say the same thing in person. It’s ridiculous! And political conversations seem to be the most common place for rudeness on social media.

          Don’t blame you a bit for being done with the personal social media. Amazing how much drama can be on there. Just makes no sense!

          Liked by 3 people

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