Many years before my father died, he gave me his Bible and asked that I place it in his casket when he died.
He died October 23, 2017. I remembered the Bible, and knew that even though I hadn’t spoken to him or my mother in quite some time, I needed to keep my promise about placing it in his casket. The day after he passed away, I got it off the closet shelf, and opened it up for the first time. I skimmed through things, putting aside things that didn’t look sentimental and putting the sentimental things back into the Bible. I came across a piece of paper that was folded up very small. It was something my father had written & I’d never seen. Notes documenting some things my mother did to me & said about me to him. Pretty sure my heart skipped a beat when I realized what I was looking at! I was absolutely shocked! I assume because my father’s memory was so damaged from a TBI at age 15, he documented things to be sure he wouldn’t forget. It was a smart move, especially considering the gaslighting my mother put him through (yes, knowing about the brain damage, she used it to her advantage!). Anyway, I put his notes aside to read later since I couldn’t cope with that at the time. My focus had to be to get that Bible to the funeral parlor to be placed in his casket. I accomplished my mission with the help of my husband that day, by the way.
A few days later, I read the notes. It was quite overwhelming to put it mildly. Even after all of this time, it’s still pretty overwhelming. I’m still glad I have them though. They helped validate my pain as well as give me some insight into my father & why he failed to protect me from my mother.
I thought I’d share them here. Now you, Dear Reader, can see what I experienced, & know you’re not alone. Narcissistic mother’s do terrible, terrible things, & I have written evidence of some of those things.
I also wrote comments of what I believe was happening in these events so others can learn about narcissistic behavior from examples.
I have another purpose for sharing this information, & that purpose is selfish, I admit it. I have zero doubt at least one of my abusive flying monkey relatives (but I believe more) read my work. I want them to see this undeniable proof that my mother abused me & my father didn’t protect me. These people are what they were so blindly devoted to. I know I can’t make them accept the truth, of course, but I can fling it at them & hope for the best. Maybe a seed will be planted…
Reading these can be very triggering. If you don’t feel strong enough to read details of narcissistic abuse at this time, you really should consider skipping this post. You can always come back to it at another time.
Here we are… my father’s notes. His handwriting can be a bit hard to read so I typed everything out. I’m showing both versions to see side by side, so no one can say I’m lying. I typed each line out exactly as he wrote it for clarity, & my comments are on the side.
My father’s notes…
Second page of my father’s notes
Last page of my father’s notes