When a person grows up surrounded by chaos, that person often ends up comfortable with chaos. Knowing nothing else such as peace & calm, those things feel foreign & even scary. There can be comfort in the midst of chaos simply because it is what you know, it is what is familiar.
Some people who have grown up abused even create their own chaos & drama without realizing it simply because they can’t stand peace & quiet. Even if they hate such stressful situations, the familiarity of them provides a degree of comfort.
Most people gravitate to the familiar, even when it is painful or dysfunctional. This is why a woman who grew up beaten by her drunken father later marries a man who gets drunk & beats her. She doesn’t like being beaten- it’s simply familiar to her & she naturally gravitated to it.
Other people grew up being the “fixers” in their family. They were the ones who calmed down their parents when they were fighting or denied the fact their parents were abusive if anyone questioned them. They kept their dysfunctional parents happy at all personal costs. Being the family fixer means these people feel they have no real purpose unless they are able to fix things. They are comfortable with chaos because it means they have a job to do, & it’s a job they know how to do well.
As dysfunctional as this behavior is, there is hope. The healthier you get & the more you heal from the abuse, the less comfortable you will feel with chaos. It will happen naturally. I’m not sure there is a way to address this issue specifically. I’ve just noticed that it seems to diminish on its own as a person gets healthier. So take care of yourself. Address whatever issues you have as they come up. Pray, ask God to help you to get to the root of the problem so you can deal with it the most effectively. In time, you’ll notice you become more uncomfortable with chaos & much more comfortable with the peace that you deserve.