Thinking Of Starting A Blog?

Many people I talk to mention that they want to start a blog about their experiences & what they have learned about narcissism.  Today, I thought I’d write a post for those of you in that position.

Before you get started, you need to think long & hard about this.  Writing a blog isn’t hard, but there are things that need to be considered.

As always, I really recommend prayer as the place to start.  Ask God to show you if you should or shouldn’t do this.  If you believe He wants you to, ask Him guide you on this, to help you to write about whatever He wants you to write about, to reach those He wants you to reach, he courage to do this & anything else you can think of.

Where do things stand with your narcissistic parents?  How would you deal with it if they found out about your blog?  That could be a very ugly situation since narcissists want their abuse to stay hidden.  Are you prepared for whatever might happen if they found out what you write about?

Do you feel strong enough to send your words out into the world?  Although writing a blog is pretty much like writing in your private diary, unlike your diary, anyone can read it.  Some people may think you’re making things up & invalidate you because of that.  There are also “grammar nazis” out there who nitpick posts over silly little things like saying “it’s” over “its”.  They can be really irritating since they miss the point of the post just to correct a simple typo.  While this isn’t necessarily a big deal, early on in healing, it can really hurt simply because you’re pretty emotionally raw & sensitive.

How often do you think you’ll be able to write posts?  I have settled on every other day.  It’s often enough to keep my writing in people’s minds, yet not overloading them (or pressuring me!) with my work.  Other bloggers write daily posts, yet others write only a couple of times a month.  You need to decide on what kind of schedule will work for you.

Have you looked into slander & libel laws in your state?  They vary from state to state, so you need to be aware of them in your particular state.  They are why when I write, I never mention names & only use general terms.  I will mention my parents or my ex husband, not my parents’ or ex’s names or where they live.  Giving the people you’re writing about anonymity is a good move, because it shows you aren’t trying to ruin anyone’s reputation.  You also can use fake names or change the relationship.

What about a pen name?  Is that something you feel strongly about?  Then use it!  Get creative though.  If your name is Mary Smith, don’t use Mary Smythe as a pen name.  Use something very different from your real name to protect your identity.  Don’t use a family name either since again, it wouldn’t protect your identity well.  If you don’t use a pen name, be prepared.  Your narcissistic parents & their flying monkeys most likely will read your work at some point.  If they’re anything like mine, they’re too nosy not to read it, then try to hurt you with what they read.

Now that you’ve decided you definitely want to write this blog, you need to look into various blogging websites & decided which one to go with.  Compare features & see what sounds good to you.

Obviously, I like WordPress.  It has a lot of really cool features.  I love that I can schedule posts, I don’t have to write & publish posts immediately.  In fact, I have almost 6 months of posts scheduled so that way anytime I need a break, I can take it without worrying about my blog falling behind.  WordPress also has a sharing feature that I adore.  You can connect your social media accounts to your WordPress account, & every time a blog posts publishes, it automatically puts a link on your Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, etc. pages.

Lastly, you may have a fear like I did when I first started blogging of running out of things to write about.  I can assure you, so long as there are narcissists, you’ll have plenty of material to write about!  lol

I wish you the absolute best on your new endeavor!  xoxo

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4 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Christian Topics and Prayers, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Miscellaneous, Narcissism

4 responses to “Thinking Of Starting A Blog?

  1. Ive temporarily stopped blogging because my ex has threatened to sue me. Have you done much research on slander? I changed my name, and his in my blog. I also put a disclaimer at the beginning stating it was a work of fiction. what do you think?

    Like

    • Hi Wende!

      I have done a bit of research on slander & libel. From what I gathered, laws vary some state to state, so you might be wise to research them in your particular area. It sounds to me like you should be safe, but I can’t say that with 100% certainty.

      Good luck with everything! xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I started blogging a while back, about a year after I went no contact with my sociopathic mother. I even got the attention of the site admins, and they put my posts up front for everybody to see. They said they were grateful for my honesty. I didn’t tell my now-ex husband about it, but he found it and shared it with my mother. I quit writing on it, and eventually set the page to private. That’s part of the reason this man is an ex. So I applaud your advice and agree with every word. But I would add this. Part of our healing journey includes remembering and telling. It gives us the chance to tell ourselves, “yes, that really did happen.” But we get to a point where our telling just keeps us stuck. As I write, I would watch myself very carefully for signs of healing, and change the tone of my words so I don’t stay stuck in the pain. That said, I am very grateful for your blog. I find it very educational and healing.

    Liked by 4 people

    • That alone is an excellent reason he is an ex! That was an awful thing to do!

      That is good information.. .thank you for sharing that. It can be so helpful to write things out & validate yourself & get validation for others, I can see how it could be very easy to get stuck. That was smart of you to watch yourself so you didn’t do that.

      Thank you so much for your kind words! xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

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