Thinking Of Writing A Book?

Since I recently wrote a post for those who are considering writing a blog, I though it’d be a good idea to write another post focused on those who are considering writing a book since I hear from quite a few people who have thought of doing just that.

Quite a few people who have experienced narcissistic abuse want to tell their stories to the world.  They are tired of the secrecy, of hiding things that they never should have had to hide.  They also want the world to know about narcissistic abuse so other people don’t suffer like they have.  I understand how that feels, but still, writing a book isn’t for everyone.

You need to be absolutely positive you can handle your story being able to be read by anyone in the world.  This includes your narcissistic parents & their flying monkeys.  Is this something you think you can handle?  If they find out what you wrote, it could be a very ugly situation, so you need to be emotionally & mentally prepared to handle this possible scenario.  I always prayed my parents & their flying monkeys wouldn’t find out what I wrote about, & thank God, they didn’t until after no contact.

Like with writing a blog, you also need to be aware of the slander & libel laws in your state.  The last thing you need is a legal battle with a narcissist.  Do your best to protect your abuser’s identity.  Use fake names.  Or, use a pen name for yourself that is nothing like your real name so no one knows it’s you.

There is a lot involved with writing a book.  Not only is it a lot of work to write, there are a lot of details involved.  How good are you with handling details?  How are your writing skills?  If they could use some work, a writing class may help you.  Read work by authors whose style of writing you like.  It may help you find your writing voice.

There are different ways to publish books, too.  Many authors like using a traditional publisher.  The author writes a book, & hands over the manuscript to the publisher.  From there, the publisher edits it, designs the cover & takes care of marketing.  The author is under a contract (terms vary from author to author) & usually has an agent to help negotiate the contract terms.

There are also print on demand publishers, sometimes also called self publishers or vanity publishers.  There are no contracts or agents involved. In addition to writing the book, the author also edits it, designs the cover & takes care of marketing.  Or, the author can pay someone to edit, design the cover & market it.

Which route you opt to take depends on your goals & personality, I think.  I use print on demand, because I have physical & mental limitations.  Not only do I not do well under pressure, but thanks to brain damage, there are days that I can’t write at all.  I need to be able to write on my own schedule, not on someone else’s.  I also edit my books which means some editor isn’t going to change my book around.  Some editors make such drastic changes, a book is barely recognizable to its author.  That would bother me to no end!  I had to learn to format my books to look good in various print formats, which took some trial & error.   As far as the covers, I have a ridiculously talented cousin who designs some of my covers.  Marketing is my weakness, but even so, I take care of it the best I can.

What I do may not work for you at all, & that’s fine.  You need to do whatever works for you!

There are also ebooks.  I create them along with print because so many people like reading on their kindle or nook.  I really recommend doing the same.  Ebooks are a great way to get your work out there.

You also need to figure out what is best- to create your writing as a business or not.  Look into it to decide if you wish to incorporate or not.  I haven’t, & one plus is it keeps my income taxes are very simple.

Whatever you opt to do, I wish you success in your endeavors!  Writing a book isn’t easy, but especially when the topic is such a difficult & painful one.  You’re brave for doing it & should be proud of yourself for taking this step!  xoxo

10 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Christian Topics and Prayers, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

10 responses to “Thinking Of Writing A Book?

  1. Your writing is so excellent, I never would have dreamed that you have any kind of brain damage!

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    • You are so sweet.. thank you very much! Things have always flowed better with writing than speaking for me but it’s much, MUCH more obvious after the brain damage. I can’t think of the right words often when speaking, like often times, I can look at a chair & struggle to remember what it’s called. Writing though, it flows. I guess that’s proof it’s God’s calling. He protected that ability from damage. 🙂

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      • Definitely, your writing is a God given talent.

        I have probably already told you this, that I also have brain damage. I’ve been knocked unconscious four times, three of which were due to abuse, plus I had a “mini stroke,” a transient ischemic attack, at the age of 33. I lost my math skills with the mini stroke. Math was like a language to me, before the TIA.

        But, like you, I do what I can do with what’s left. It isn’t always easy, though!

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        • No, you didn’t tell me that! My word! I’m so sorry you went through all of that! I can’t tell by your writing though- you write so well!

          That had to hurt losing math like that! Brain damage is a sneaky, awful thing in the things it steals. I used to be able to look at about any older car & tell you the year, make & model (a skill from my father). Now, I often stumble or draw a total blank. Silly I suppose, but I miss that.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Thanks for saying that you can’t tell by my writing. I know I don’t write as well as I used to, though.

            When I was 26 years old, I took a proctored Mensa test and my IQ was really high. Just 4 points below Einstein’s, in fact. I’d already had 3 head injuries prior to this, but I hadn’t noticed any cognitive decline. But when I had the TIA mini stroke in my early 30s I noticed the difference right away, because I was taking some college courses at the time. My math professor especially noticed the difference.

            I was 35 years old when my worst head injury happened. My ex beat me so bad… first he slapped me, then he choked me, and as I tried to get away, he grabbed me from behind and threw me to the floor face down. Then he sat on my back, grabbed my hair, and slammed my face over and over and over again, into the hardwood floor. My nose was broken, my jaw was fractured. I lost consciousness. A couple of days later, I was chaperoning at a dance party for my teenagers and their friends, when I passed out again. I woke up in the back of an ambulance. I couldn’t remember my address when I got to the hospital. Couldn’t remember a lot of things, That was my worst head injury, by far. For the next 5 or 6 years, I felt dead inside. I had almost no emotions, I was like a robot. My emotions came roaring back at my daughter’s wedding.

            The ex who beat me so bad now has Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s Disease. So, I guess he is getting his.

            Despite my brain traumas, I graduated from nursing school when I was in my early 40s, with perfect grades all the way through. I was even elected president of my nursing school class, which totally shocked me! I had never felt so validated in my life. I also scored in the top 1% of the nation on my license exam, which was another shocker — especially because I thought that I might have failed that exam! I had even told one of the nurse instructors that I thought I might have failed! When I got back my scores and they were so high, she said “Now don’t you feel stupid?” LOL

            Head injuries are strange, the way they can affect some things and not affect others. I am very grateful that I did not lose all of my intelligence when I had the mini stroke and that last horrific head trauma. But I don’t ever want to take an IQ test again. I’m sure that it’s no longer anywhere close to Einstein’s, because that photographic memory I used to have — I don’t have that anymore.

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            • My word… you have been through some serious stuff! Big hugs to you!! It’s incredible how functional & caring you are! Between the physical & psychological damage, it’d be normal for you not to be either. Goodness. I do hope you’re proud of yourself. You have overcome so much!

              Head injuries are very strange. Growing up with my father who got a TBI that nearly killed him at 15, I always knew it, but not exactly how strange til I got my own. Freaky things! It’s almost 4 years to the day since I got mine & I’m still learning stuff about this “new” me.

              Definitely do NOT take an IQ test! Speaking from experience here. I took one not long after I got my first computer, then another when I started to realize how badly damaged my brain was. 23 points lower! Not a good feeling at all. Not entirely surprising, either, but still. Ouch.

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              • I suspect that I lost even more IQ points. Have you ever heard the outdated term “idiot savant?”

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                • It wouldn’t be surprising, sadly… brain injuries are suck wicked & weird things.

                  I have heard that term, yes. Actually I feel like that more often than I care to admit. :/

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                  • ((HUG)) You are so awesome, Cynthia. And, like I need to remind myself, you are not your head injury. You, and I, are precious daughters of the most high God, the Lord of Lords and King of Kings. In Him we are being restored and made brand new! If not in this life, in the eternal life to come, all of our brokenness will be made whole.

                    Liked by 1 person

                    • Hugs back to you!

                      No, we aren’t. We are way more than head injuries, & thank God for that! I actually am grateful for mine in some ways. It helped me to stop tolerating the intolerable. Good came from it, so I try to focus on that when the other symptoms make me mad. It’s more proof God can us anything to bless us, even what was meant to destroy us

                      Liked by 1 person

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