You Are Much Stronger Than You Realize

Have you ever stopped & thought about how strong you are?

Being raised by at least one narcissistic parent, you are naturally all too aware of your faults (real ones & the imaginary ones your parent put on you).  Even if you haven’t had contact with that parent & have healed, chances are you’re still very aware of every flaw you have, yet very unaware of the good things about you.  One of those good things that all victims share is great strength.

Think about it.  Narcissistic abuse is the psychological equivalent of walking through a minefield.  You don’t know where to turn that is safe.  Sometimes you’re going to step on a land mine (incite narcissistic rage by some imaginary slight) & it’s going to devastate you.  Narcissistic rage is as unavoidable when dealing with a narcissistic personality as stepping on a land mine in a minefield.

Yet, in spite of all of the abuse & the gaslighting, you survived.  Wounded, like a person who has escaped a minefield, but still, you survived.  That is pretty darned impressive!  And, you ended the cycle!!  YAY YOU!!  You aren’t a narcissist!  So many children with narcissistic parents turn into narcissists, but you didn’t!  That is awesome!!

Here you are, being good to other people, loving your kids (furry or human), & living life on your own terms.  You aren’t living to please your narcissistic parent, which shows you have great courage.  It takes a lot of courage to break away from that, since they make their children’s lives so miserable when they are disappointed.  Sure, you still have some issues from childhood, who doesn’t?  Maybe you even have PTSD or C-PTSD.  But, you didn’t commit suicide like many have.  You’re still here & doing pretty well for yourself.  And, you’ve done it all on your own.

You, Dear Reader, are incredibly strong.  You should be very proud of yourself!

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10 Comments

Filed under Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

10 responses to “You Are Much Stronger Than You Realize

  1. Yes! And yay you, too!! After surviving the minefield of your childhood, here you are, writing this very helpful and affirming blog! 💘💘

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Sarah Chuang

    Thank you! I need this article today. What a crucial message, even life-saving message! It’s true I’m rarely conscious of my strength, but often conscious of my flaws, no matter physically or psychologically. Not surprising after surviving my narc parents & siblings for over 40 years while my real flaws & those “unreal flaws” fabricated by my narc mother have been magnified & used as excuses for them to project their rage on me.
    Come to think of it, my biggest physical flaw, being overweight all my life, should never have been considered a flaw in the first place! But my parents & older brother enjoyed ridiculed me about my weight since I was only 6 or 7. Needless to say, I carry such enormous shame about my body that even now I suffer from social anxiety & intimacy issues. Normal parents teach their kids healthy self-care so that healthy weight is the natural outcome of a normal development. But the concept of self-care was totally absent in my childhood & adolescent years. Ironically, my parents always forced me to take care of my younger sisters. So, I still struggle with that. It’s just so frustrating sometimes. It’s not like I haven’t made efforts to work on self-care. I’ve been trying numerous ways to lose weight since I was a teenager, but it has become a vicious cycle. I now believe my weight problem might be more deeply rooted psychologically, rather than physically. Don’t know if I’m making any sense 😨
    Again, thank you for this wonderful article 😘

    Liked by 2 people

    • You made perfect sense. ((((hugs)))) I went through the same thing with my mother. Even when I was thin, I wasn’t thin enough. I was still way too fat. She also encouraged me to be an emotional eater. Any emotion was cause for food. Then mock me for eating what I was told to eat. Her issues projected onto me. Was that the same in your family?

      I’m sorry you’ve experienced all of this. You truly are a beautiful lady, inside & out though, no matter what nonsense your awful parents said about you! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sarah Chuang

        Thank you for the hugs & validation. Yes, it’s very similar in my family. My parents have very twisted ideas about food & eating. They never allowed any snack or comfort food. I didn’t have any pocket money to buy anything, either. Howver, after I hit adolescence & began struggling with my weight, my mother began buying unhealthy snacks, like Sneakers chocolate bars & fried desserts & stock up the fridge witn those snacks. Come to think of it, she never wanted me to be healthy. So evil! I cannot but wonder that she’s afraid that if I lost weight, she wouldn’t be the center of the attention in the family. Such twisted mindset!

        Like

        • Wow.. very twisted indeed! I think you’re right though, at least if your mother is like most narcissistic mothers. Mine used to buy candy bars in bulk & made me eat them, often 2 in a sitting. (At age 47, I still am not a fan of candy bars thanks to her!) If they can make us fat & unhealthy, they can shame us & keep the attention & admiration on themselves, & we know those are important to narcissists!

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Very encouraging words! Thank u!

    Like

  4. ibikenyc

    Thanks for the hug! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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