I recently read an amazing article entitled “11 Signs Your Personality Is So Intense That It’s Intimidating To Others“. Later on, I thought about the article & realized that many other victims of narcissistic abuse share many if not all of these qualities. It’s no wonder narcissists have issues with us! It’s also proof that we are some pretty amazing people, in my opinion!
#1 in the article is “you’re honest to a fault.” And what a fault honesty is to narcissists! They want victims to be willing to lie to & for them, to pretend they’re perfect & to protect their reputation.
#2, “You’re a problem solver, not one to wallow.” This is another big no no to narcissists, because that means a person like this won’t tolerate abuse indefinitely.
#3, “You aren’t afraid of intimacy.” Many people when they hear the word intimacy think sex, but actually it can be much more beyond sex. Two people who are open with each other, & love, trust & respect each other can have a very intimate relationship with or without sex. If this is something you want, chances are excellent you’ll see behind the narcissist’s mask before he or she is ready for that to happen, which means you won’t be a good victim.
#4, “You’re intense in all that you do.” Intense people don’t settle for things that aren’t intense. They want passion & deep relationships. They don’t want superficial anything, which is yet one more problem for narcissists. They do want superficial relationships. Deeper would mean they might actually have to do some self reflection, which is one of their biggest fears. Even narcissists don’t want to see what’s truly behind their masks.
#5, “You ask a lot of questions.” Narcissists demand blind trust from their victims. That doesn’t come from someone who asks lots of questions. They will trust, but they want to know beyond a doubt they can trust before doing so.
#6, “You refuse to waste your time waiting around for others.” Narcissists MUST be in control of victims, & that even includes when they spend time with people. My mother is perpetually late, unless it’s with someone she wants to impress. Being late is her way of forcing someone to wait on her, so basically she’s in control of that person even if only for a short time.
#7, “You’re like a human lie detector.” Definitely a very, very big turn off for any narcissist. They want to be able to lie to their victims & get away with it indefinitely. Someone who won’t put up with lying is going to call them out on their actions, & we all know narcissists don’t tolerate that well.
#8, “You’re incredibly open minded.” Another problem as far as narcissists are concerned. If you’re open minded, you might *gasp* think for yourself at some point. No victim of any narcissist is allowed to do that! It’s an unpardonable sin to them. Narcissists want their victims to think however the narcissist wants them to think, period. Independent thought may lead to victims realizing that this abuse they’re enduring is wrong, & figure out a way to escape it.
#9, “You always have a clear picture of what you want.” Another problem according to narcissists. If you know what you want, you also have a good sense of boundaries & you know what you aren’t willing to tolerate. This means you may be too tough to manipulate & control for a narcissist.
#10, “You’re a creature of habit.” Another no no for narcissists. Victims need to be pliable so their narcissist can control them. If you have & like your routine, you won’t be open to a lot of change, which is a sign you’re not pliable. This simply will not work for a narcissist!
#11, “You have no interest in shallow relationships.” Narcissists love shallow relationships because they aren’t demanding & don’t require much of them. People who like deeper relationships come across as highly demanding & unreasonable to narcissists. How dare you expect the narcissist to care about your feelings, thoughts, family, job, etc? That means the spotlight would be off the narcissist, & we know that narcissists can’t handle that.
If you share any of the qualities on this list, then enjoy them knowing that they make you unattractive to narcissists, so enjoy these qualities & wear them proudly!