Ending An Abusive Relationship

Leaving a relationship with a narcissist is so hard!  Whether the narcissist is a love interest or family member, it’s always hard.  They can make you feel  obligated to them as if you owe them something, like no one else would “put up with you”, & you’ll lose everyone you love if you end this relationship.  It takes a lot of strength & courage to end a relationship under those circumstances.

It’s hard to end any relationship.  It’s sad eliminating a person from your life that you once cared a great deal about.  If that person is a family member, it’s even harder simply because that person is family.  Family is supposed to be full of people who love & support each other.  It’s hard to wrap your mind around the fact someone in that role in your life isn’t that way at all, but is an abusive monster.

There is also the fact that narcissists make their victims feel like they’ll never find anyone to love them.  My ex husband told me once, that I’d never find anyone who loved me like he did.  At the time, it was terrifying!  I was sure I’d be alone forever.  The more years we have been separated though, the more I realized he was right.  No one else has so called “loved” me like him & I thank God for that!

There also is the problem of flying monkeys.  Whether the narcissist in your life is a relative or romantic partner, chances are excellent that this person has some devoted flying monkeys who think she can do no wrong, & you know they will attack you if you are “mean” enough to abandon their precious narcissist.  That can be pretty intimidating, especially when you’re already beaten down by the narcissist.

While these can be upsetting scenarios, it’s still best to abandon the relationship with the narcissist in your life.  You will NOT regret it!  I have not once heard anyone in this type of situation say they wish they had stayed in the abusive relationship.  Not once!  In my experience, I have absolutely no regrets either.

When you do end the relationship, you are going to love your new freedom & realize it was worth it.

Suddenly, you will feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders.  No longer do you have to seriously consider every word you say for fear of upsetting this person.  You no longer have to worry about how you style your hair or how you dress being a reason for this person to put you down.  You can do whatever you want, have your own opinions, listen to whatever music you like & even eat whatever food you want without the fear of being mocked.  It’s so freeing!

When stuck in a relationship with a narcissist, it is hard to see just how bad things are.  You’re so busy trying to survive, that takes up all your thoughts.  It doesn’t cross your mind that things are really bad.  Once you leave it though, your thinking will be much clearer without the narcissist taking up so much of your thoughts.  You’re also going to see exactly how bad the situation was, & be incredibly grateful you left it.

If you’re considering ending your relationship with a narcissist, but are afraid, I want to encourage you today.  You can do this & you won’t regret it!  Ask God to give you strength.  Talk to your supportive friends or a counselor & let them encourage you.  Look at your past successes, all the times you dealt with the narcissist in your life or her flying monkeys & they didn’t get their way.  You can do this, Dear Reader!  You really can!  And when you do, you are going to be incredibly grateful you did it!

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2 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Mental Health, Narcissism

2 responses to “Ending An Abusive Relationship

  1. ibikenyc

    Boy, did I need this today.

    Thank you for the reminder that there IS Real Life on the other side.

    Liked by 1 person

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