Being no contact with a narcissistic parent is a heart wrenching, heart breaking, terrifying, liberating, peace bringing experience. People who haven’t experienced this truly don’t get that it is not only incredibly difficult, but brings so many conflicting & painful emotions. Thankfully, many people who don’t understand at least have enough empathy to realize it must be incredibly difficult being no contact with your own parent.
And then there are the other people.. *sigh*
Some people just can’t accept that a parent & their adult child don’t have a relationship. No matter who ended it, they blame the adult child. They say some of the most ridiculous, idiotic things imaginable trying to make that adult child feel guilty for not being in a relationship with her parent.
How do you deal with people like this?!
Unfortunately I have found no very successful ways to do so. If you’re very lucky, telling that person this topic isn’t up for discussion with you will be respected. They will drop the subject & you two won’t discuss it again. That seldom is the case though & you will need to take much more drastic measures.
If you’re having a conversation with someone who you have told you don’t want to discuss the matter with & that person ignores you, change the subject. Repeat as often as necessary. Be rude about it if that is the only thing that gets their attention. Tell them you are serious- this topic isn’t up for discussion, & if they continue, you are going to leave or hang up the phone, then follow through with your threat.
If you’re on social media, you can block this person from seeing certain posts of yours if you mention the topic of your parent. You may end up needing to remove them from your friend’s list if they are persistent. Worst case scenario is you can block them entirely so they see nothing you post nor can they contact you. A quick google search can tell you how to do this if you are unsure.
If they call or text you, there are ways to block their numbers so they are unable to reach you. There are numerous cell phone apps that can block numbers. I use one that enables you to create a black list of numbers that can’t call you or a white list that enables only numbers on that list to contact you. Personally I like the white list idea, because many people upon discovering a number has been blocked will try to reach you via other telephone numbers.
If someone emails you, block their email or change your email address, keeping the new one private.
I know these people are incredibly frustrating to deal with, Dear Reader, but you can do it!