I’m really into music, mostly classic & hard rock/metal. I find music to be very good for one’s mental health. A song can transport you back to a special memory such as your first slow dance or maybe the day you met your spouse. It also has a way of putting your feelings & experiences into words when you lack that ability.
Recently I realized something as I was listening to some hard rock & heavy metal music. I think some artists have experience with narcissists & have made songs about it. I found their songs oddly validating, & hope you will too.
Below are the songs that made me come to this realization. The titles are links to the song’s video on YouTube if you want to check it out. If not though, I understand. Not everyone is a fan of this kind of music. I included links to pages that contain just the lyrics for my readers who don’t share my musical tastes.
Thorn In My Side, from the 1992 album “Force Of Habit” by Exodus. Here is the link to the lyrics: https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/exodus/thorninmyside.html In particular, notice the chorus. If this doesn’t describe what it’s like growing up with a narcissistic parent, I don’t know what does. The video also tells the story well. It nearly brought me to tears the first time I saw it.
You are a thorn in my side,
all my life you never left me alone
Thorn in my side, in your mind you wish I never were born
Thorn in my side, through it all I think you pushed me to fail
Thorn in my side, it’s about time you’re recognized
for your lies and your worthless alibis
Soul Sucker from the 2010 album “Scream” by Ozzy Osbourne. Here are the lyrics: https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/ozzyosbourne/soulsucker.html The chorus on this song in particular struck me as being very interesting. It describes very well what it’s like being in a relationship with a narcissist, don’t you think? Whether the narcissist is a parent or romantic partner, this describes very well how it feels.
Stop talking to me
Just like I don’t even bleed
This cross is heavy when
You’re my soul suckerGet out of my face
The past is running in place
The slivers cut me as you
Suck the soul right out of meSoul sucker
Holier Than Thou from the 1991 album “Metallica” (or The Black Album) by Metallica. Here are the lyrics: https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/metallica/holierthanthou.html To me, the lyrics sound like they’re describing a narcissist. So many use God & religion to abuse their victims, & definitely display that “holier than thou” behavior. My mother did it. When I was in my teens, she told me she was going to Heaven because she was such a good person, but being such a bad person, I was bound for Hell. Anyway, I found this part of the song in particular especially interesting:
Before you judge me take a look at you
Can’t you find something better to do
Point the finger, slow to understand
Arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand
These songs have made me wonder what other songs out there of any genre also came to be due to narcissistic abuse. Do you know of any? Do you find listening to them validating?
Alanis Morrisette lyrics pop in my head when I’m journal writing about my mother. 2 songs in particular.
“Unprodigal Daughter” where she blatantly sings about getting away from her mother – mentally and physically. Lyrics of note:
“I had disengaged to avoid being totaled”
“Glad that I left when I did before, I know you, you can’t get the best of me
When I’d speak of artistry you would roll your eyes skyward
When I’d speak of spirituality you would label it absurd
When I spoke of possibility you would frown and shake your head
If I had stayed much longer, I’d have surely imploded”
“That I Would Be Good” may or may not be about her mother, but probably is. She laments that would have been nice to have been thought of as “good”, “fine” and “loved” even if she wasn’t perfect by the other person’s standards. .
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Wow.. it does sound like it’s about her mother. Very sad.
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How about “You’re So Vain” by Carly Simon? Here are some of the lyrics:
You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye on the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they’d be your partner
They’d be your partner, and
You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You’re so vain, I’ll bet you think this song is about you
Don’t you? Don’t you?
You had me several years ago when I was still quite naive
Well you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved and one of them was me
I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and
You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You’re so vain, I’ll bet you think this song is about you
Don’t you? Don’t you?
…. By the way, I have had a couple of people like that in my life.
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YES! I agree with you on that song! Goodness…
I remembered another one, “Voices Carry”. It came out when I was in high school in the 80’s & I never cared for it in spite of loving most of the music of the era. Somewhere I read someone interpreted it to be about narcissistic abuse & I thought it fit. Here’s a link with the lyrics..
http://www.metrolyrics.com/voices-carry-lyrics-til-tuesday.html
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Analis Morissette’s Narcissus
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I mean, Alanis Morissette’s Narcissus.
Stupid autocorrect, Lol
Dear momma’s boy I know you’ve had your butt licked by your mother
I know you’ve enjoyed all that attention from her
And every woman graced with your presence after
Dear narcissus boy I know you’ve never really apologized for anything
I know you’ve never really taken responsibility
I know you’ve never really listened to a woman
Dear me-show boy I know you’re not really into conflict resolution
Or seeing both sides of every equation
Or having an uninterrupted conversation
And any talk of healthiness
And any talk of connectedness
And any talk of resolving this
Leaves you running for the door
(why why do I try to love you
Try to love you when you really don’t want me
To)
Dear egotist boy you’ve never really had to suffer any consequence
You’ve never…
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WOW!
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Christina Perri’s “Jar of Hearts.”
I know I can’t take one more step towards you
‘Cause all that’s waiting is regret
Don’t you know I’m not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most
I learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time
Who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are?
I hear you’re asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms
I’ve learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time. . .
It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
‘Cause you broke all your promises
And now you’re back
You don’t get to get me back. . .
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Oh, dear! Don’t know why the wrong video posted, and that’s not even the “Mr. Know It All” video: It’s “Goodbye To You,” both of which also fit the category.
Sorry about that 😦
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(PS: “Goodbye To You” really doesn’t, but “Mr. Know It All” does.)
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Weird the wrong video posted! But anyway the lyrics are powerful.. definitely sound like someone who’s been with a narcissist!
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