Songs About Narcissistic Abuse

I’m really into music, mostly classic & hard rock/metal.  I find music to be very good for one’s mental health.  A song can transport you back to a special memory such as your first slow dance or maybe the day you met your spouse.  It also has a way of putting your feelings & experiences into words when you lack that ability.

Recently I realized something as I was listening to some hard rock & heavy metal music.  I think some artists have experience with narcissists & have made songs about it.  I found their songs oddly validating, & hope you will too.

Below are the songs that made me come to this realization.  The titles are links to the song’s video on YouTube if you want to check it out.  If not though, I understand.  Not everyone is a fan of this kind of music.  I included links to pages that contain just the lyrics for my readers who don’t share my musical tastes.

Thorn In My Side, from the 1992 album “Force Of Habit” by Exodus. Here is the link to the lyrics: https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/exodus/thorninmyside.html  In particular, notice the chorus.  If this doesn’t describe what it’s like growing up with a narcissistic parent, I don’t know what does.  The video also tells the story well.  It nearly brought me to tears the first time I saw it.

You are a thorn in my side,
all my life you never left me alone
Thorn in my side, in your mind you wish I never were born
Thorn in my side, through it all I think you pushed me to fail
Thorn in my side, it’s about time you’re recognized
for your lies and your worthless alibis

Soul Sucker from the 2010 album “Scream” by Ozzy Osbourne.  Here are the lyrics:  https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/ozzyosbourne/soulsucker.html  The chorus on this song in particular struck me as being very interesting.  It describes very well what it’s like being in a relationship with a narcissist, don’t you think?  Whether the narcissist is a parent or romantic partner, this describes very well how it feels.

Stop talking to me
Just like I don’t even bleed
This cross is heavy when
You’re my soul sucker

Get out of my face
The past is running in place
The slivers cut me as you
Suck the soul right out of me

Soul sucker

Holier Than Thou from the 1991 album “Metallica” (or The Black Album) by Metallica.  Here are the lyrics: https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/metallica/holierthanthou.html  To me, the lyrics sound like they’re describing a narcissist.  So many use God & religion to abuse their victims, & definitely display that “holier than thou” behavior.  My mother did it.  When I was in my teens, she told me she was going to Heaven because she was such a good person, but being such a bad person, I was bound for Hell.  Anyway, I found this part of the song in particular especially interesting:

Before you judge me take a look at you
Can’t you find something better to do
Point the finger, slow to understand
Arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand

These songs have made me wonder what other songs out there of any genre also came to be due to narcissistic abuse.  Do you know of any?  Do you find listening to them validating?

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11 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

11 responses to “Songs About Narcissistic Abuse

  1. Alanis Morrisette lyrics pop in my head when I’m journal writing about my mother. 2 songs in particular.

    “Unprodigal Daughter” where she blatantly sings about getting away from her mother – mentally and physically. Lyrics of note:
    “I had disengaged to avoid being totaled”
    “Glad that I left when I did before, I know you, you can’t get the best of me
    When I’d speak of artistry you would roll your eyes skyward
    When I’d speak of spirituality you would label it absurd
    When I spoke of possibility you would frown and shake your head
    If I had stayed much longer, I’d have surely imploded”

    “That I Would Be Good” may or may not be about her mother, but probably is. She laments that would have been nice to have been thought of as “good”, “fine” and “loved” even if she wasn’t perfect by the other person’s standards. .

    Liked by 4 people

  2. How about “You’re So Vain” by Carly Simon? Here are some of the lyrics:

    You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht
    Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
    Your scarf it was apricot
    You had one eye on the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte
    And all the girls dreamed that they’d be your partner
    They’d be your partner, and

    You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you
    You’re so vain, I’ll bet you think this song is about you
    Don’t you? Don’t you?

    You had me several years ago when I was still quite naive
    Well you said that we made such a pretty pair
    And that you would never leave
    But you gave away the things you loved and one of them was me
    I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee
    Clouds in my coffee, and

    You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you
    You’re so vain, I’ll bet you think this song is about you
    Don’t you? Don’t you?

    …. By the way, I have had a couple of people like that in my life.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Analis Morissette’s Narcissus

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I mean, Alanis Morissette’s Narcissus.
    Stupid autocorrect, Lol

    Dear momma’s boy I know you’ve had your butt licked by your mother
    I know you’ve enjoyed all that attention from her
    And every woman graced with your presence after
    Dear narcissus boy I know you’ve never really apologized for anything
    I know you’ve never really taken responsibility
    I know you’ve never really listened to a woman
    Dear me-show boy I know you’re not really into conflict resolution
    Or seeing both sides of every equation
    Or having an uninterrupted conversation
    And any talk of healthiness
    And any talk of connectedness
    And any talk of resolving this
    Leaves you running for the door
    (why why do I try to love you
    Try to love you when you really don’t want me
    To)
    Dear egotist boy you’ve never really had to suffer any consequence
    You’ve never…

    Liked by 2 people

  5. ibikenyc

    Christina Perri’s “Jar of Hearts.”

    I know I can’t take one more step towards you
    ‘Cause all that’s waiting is regret
    Don’t you know I’m not your ghost anymore
    You lost the love I loved the most
    I learned to live, half alive
    And now you want me one more time

    Who do you think you are?
    Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
    Collecting your jar of hearts
    And tearing love apart
    You’re gonna catch a cold
    From the ice inside your soul
    So don’t come back for me
    Who do you think you are?

    I hear you’re asking all around
    If I am anywhere to be found
    But I have grown too strong
    To ever fall back in your arms
    I’ve learned to live, half alive
    And now you want me one more time. . .

    It took so long just to feel alright
    Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
    I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
    ‘Cause you broke all your promises
    And now you’re back
    You don’t get to get me back. . .

    Like

  6. ibikenyc

    Oh, dear! Don’t know why the wrong video posted, and that’s not even the “Mr. Know It All” video: It’s “Goodbye To You,” both of which also fit the category.

    Sorry about that 😦

    Like

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