Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism
Tagged as C-PTSD, complex, disorder, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic, personality, post traumatic stress, PTSD, ruminating, thought, thoughts
Lovely video. Ruminating thoughts are trying to tell us something. Usually the goal is protection and safety. The phrase “the only way out is through” comes to mind for me. Our consumer culture tells everyone to look to the advice of those who present as most confident. Yet those confident looking people are often narcissists themselves.
I think of Oprah often. She created an empire telling women how to handle their spouses and children – telling them to seek “their best lives”, while she put herself on the cover of all of her magazines. Yet Oprah never married. And Oprah never had a child. I know she has mentioned her pain of childhood in interviews and mythology. But I don’t recall a single episode of her show where she discussed the pain of her journey to healing. I think at some point she just decided to be a narcissist herself. Regard herself as grand, and then she skipped all the steps. I don’t recall any episodes about her parents’ or relatives’ deaths. The only time I recall her mentioning her family was when it was in regards to something that made her feel more “grand”. (i.e. an aunt encouraged her to speak in church).
These are just my thoughts and opinions.
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That is so very true, the only way out is through. If only it was easier!
Oprah bothers me too.. she does seem narcissistic. I read somewhere that her Myers Briggs personality type is an INFJ, & if you read about the unhealthy version of it, it does describe her quite well. Also, she got her start in Baltimore, MD on the local news. I’ve known folks who knew her way back then, & not one person had anything nice to say about her. That is worrisome.
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I identify as INFJ.. Do you think that is another one of her lies?
No, because I read it in an article about unhealthy versions of each MBTI. She had nothing to do with it.
So cool you’re an INFJ too! I am & love having other INFJ friends
No way Oprah is an introvert. Maybe her idea of solitude means only having one or two servants and assistants around.
LOL! I thought that too! Then a few months back, my cousin took the MBTI test & tested ISTJ. I never expected the I part. He’s very social! But, he has only a slight preference for introversion over extroversion I think it was like 22%, something like that anyway. She could be the same way.
Fair point! I probably need to take the test again. Years ago I was just barely INFJ. The NF was superstrong, but the I and J were right on the cusp.
I really think our personalities can change so you may be either a stronger INFJ now or another NF type. Mine was INTJ until I got brain damage then I turned into a strong INFJ. Go figure 🤷♀️
On a humorous note, I did have one friend who was so scared to take any “personality” test because she said she was afraid it would come back to tell her she didn’t have a personality! (Believe me, that would NOT have been the case with her!)
LOL!!!! My husband said the same thing when I first told him about the MBTI. Then he took it & has been interested since (he’s an INTJ)
These comments have me thinking about what I experienced when I was on her show, way back in May 2000…
“the only way out is through”
So often, the simplest things are the truest, but easiest to overlook. Thanks for the reminder 🙂
I finally got a chance to sit down and watch this video. I wholeheartedly agree that we need to allow ourselves to think our thoughts and feel our feelings. Like Doug said, the only way out is through.
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What you talking about Linda? Were you on the Oprah show? I hope I didn’t offend you.
Oh no, you did not offend me at all! The experience was… strange. Painful, actually. I will explain later, I have a lot going on here right now. But no, you didn’t offend me in any kind of way. 🙂
I, too, am curious but don’t wish to pry.
Hope everything is good (or at least better) with you ❤
I have decided to turn it into a blog post. I’m still working on it. Hopefully I will have it ready to post sometime tomorrow. Here is what I have written so far:
When I was on The Oprah Winfrey Show
This happened almost twenty years ago, in late April or early May in the year 2000. I didn’t watch much TV then, and I don’t watch much TV now. Books have always been my thing.
I was walking through the living room one day, on my way to the kitchen. The television was on, because the man I was married to was watching it. A commercial came on just as I passed in front of the TV. It was Oprah, touting her latest book club choice. “When does infidelity begin?” she asked. “Does it begin with just a thought?”
I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at the television. Oprah was holding up a book. As the camera zoomed in on the cover, I read the book’s title. While I Was Gone, by Sue Miller.
“While I Was Gone, Sue Miller. While I Was Gone, Sue Miller,” I silently repeated to myself. Later that afternoon, I told my husband that I needed to run some errands. My first stop was at a Barnes and Noble book store, where I bought a copy of Sue Miller’s bestselling novel.
(I feel like I read something else of Sue Miller’s many moons ago, like maybe it was the bestseller everyone was reading on the subway.)
I’m looking forward to it, too, lol. Right now, I seem to have a case of writer’s block, at least when it comes to the topic of me being on the Oprah Show. But I have to write it sooner or later, it’s going to be in my memoir.
Let us know! I think I’m now getting notices to your blog also.
Will do, Doug.
I’ll be waiting, patiently: Inspiration can’t be rushed 🙂
Right before you said “lancing a boil,” I had that exact thought!
Great minds; LOL! 😀
While watching this, I was also thinking about something you said the other day in regard to vampires.
I have gotten better lately at (lovingly) forcing myself to journal about the thoughts that plague me. I’ve been pleasantly shocked at how often those thoughts are gone before I’ve even finished writing about them. I’ve sat here countless times thinking, “Wow! That’s all that was?!”
Is there something I should be watching?
Cynthia’s post with the vampire reference is at
Cynthia’s comment in the above-posted video about “lancing a boil” and yours about “the only way out is through” both made me think of what she’d said about vampires in that earlier post. So often when I “give voice” to the thoughts that plague me, the issue from which they stem seems to disappear in the sun, as it were.
(Sorry if I misunderstood your question, Doug!)
Sorry. I got confused thinking there was an Oprah video I missed. I just re-read Cynthia’s post you referenced. This passage got to me, “This is your story too, not only that of the abuser! “
That’s okay! Glad to help 🙂
“This is your story too, not only that of the abuser!“ Thank you for mentioning this. I went back and read it again just now. So simple, yet so powerful.
That’s awesome!! 🙂 Writing really does bring clarity doesn’t it?
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