When Someone Opens Up To You About Abuse In Their Life

There are many people in the world who only want to talk about pleasant things.  If someone mentions a topic that is less than happy, these people are offended.  This includes the topic of abuse.  They tell the person that brought up the topic to stop being so negative, it could’ve been worse, look on the bright side  which is that the abuse made this person strong & other such nonsense.

Well, you know something?  Life isn’t all unicorns & rainbows.  Sometimes it has some very dark, evil aspects to it.  Not talking about such things won’t change that fact.  Being open about such things isn’t rude, unkind, bad, negative, wallowing in the past, being bitter or “un-Christian”.   It’s being human.  It’s also helping to raise awareness of narcissistic abuse so others hopefully recognize it before they are subjected to it.  And, if the abusive person knows both the victim & the person the victim tells of the abuse, the other person would be wise to take what the victim says seriously.  If they don’t, they may be the next victim!

Not allowing people to discuss their experiences only invalidates victims, & helps abusers to continue their trail of destruction. In my opinion, behaving this way is just as bad a behavior as the victim’s original abuser by enabling their abusive ways.

People need to be able to discuss all parts of their lives, even the less happy ones, without fear of criticism & judgment.  This includes their tales of abuse & suffering.  If someone comes to you & opens up about abuse in their past, let the person talk.  Don’t make jokes or try to change the subject.  Don’t compare their story to yours or that of someone else you know.  Just let the person talk.  A listening ear can go a long way to helping someone who is suffering.

If you can’t listen for whatever reason, then you can still be nice.  Just tell the person it’s not that you aren’t interested, but now isn’t a good time.  Find another time where you two can talk, & make that time in the near future.

Just remember, if someone trusts you enough to open up to you about something so personal as having suffered abuse in their life, don’t abuse that person further by trying to get them not to discuss the topic.  Be kind & show you care.

2 Comments

Filed under Christian Topics and Prayers, Mental Health, Narcissism

2 responses to “When Someone Opens Up To You About Abuse In Their Life

  1. annealcroft

    If only all people could be so compassionate! What you say here, Cynthia, is what being Christian is all about. Compassion is what makes us saints.

    I’ll bet you can count plenty of times when a complete stranger has buttonholed you perhaps even for a few hours. And you listened because you cared, though after a while you wondered how in the world you could at last “cut it short!” Ave Maria! Sound familiar? 🙂

    “If we are devoted to the cause of humanity, we shall soon be crushed and broken-hearted, for we shall often meet with more ingratitude from men than we would from a dog; but if our motive is love to God, no ingratitude can hinder us from serving our fellow men.” – from Oswald Chambers: My Utmost for His Highest

    https://utmost.org/

    Like

    • Thank you Anne! ❤

      Oh yes.. more times than I can count. The funniest was a lady cornered me in a store as I picked out a bag of potatoes. She talked for about an hour, I think it was. A few months later I saw her in a thrift store & she did it again! Apparently she forgot about the first time. I didn't.. lol

      Wonderful quote.. I love that. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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