Being Too Busy

So many people seem to admire others who are constantly busy.  If you don’t believe me, you can see this for yourself.  If someone asks what you’ve been up to lately, notice their reaction to your answer.  If you say, “Not much,” most people look a bit disgusted with that answer.  However, if you say, “I’ve been really busy,” most people look pleased with your answer.

Keeping busy isn’t always the good thing many people think it is though.  Constantly going takes a toll on your physical, emotional & even spiritual health.  Physical because you aren’t taking the proper time to rest like your body needs you to.  Emotional because you aren’t allowing your mind to relax or giving it time to process things you need to process.  Spiritual because you aren’t taking time to spend with God, so He can restore you,  heal you or simply love you like you need.

Keeping busy is also a trauma related response.  Many people who have experienced trauma throw themselves into activities or work rather than take the proper time to face & heal from their trauma.  Think about it.  How many people after the death of someone they love, for example, suddenly get more active in work, volunteering, working at their church or other activities?  A lot of people do this.  They also will frequently say something like keeping busy helps them not to think about their departed loved one so much.  Whether or not they realize it, they are trying to avoid the pain of missing their loved one by being so busy, they don’t have time to think about that pain.

As hard as it can be to stop this behavior, it really is important to do so.  If you are too busy, I’d like to encourage you to pray about it.  Ask God to help you let go of activities that aren’t beneficial to you, to help you streamline your life so you will have more free time, & to give you the courage & strength you need to face the issues you have been avoiding.

Also, seriously examine your activities.  Are there things you do that aren’t bringing you any joy or benefiting your life in any way?  Then it may be time to abandon them if possible.  Or, if you can’t fully abandon them, how about reducing the time, energy & finances spent on those activities?

Use technology to help you.  I lean heavily on Google Calendar.  It took some time to set it up, but once I did that, it’s become a life saver!  All important dates are on it, such as birthdays & anniversaries.  I also added dates our monthly bills are due (including notifications for a week or two before to remind me they are coming up soon so I can plan accordingly), & have them recur each month.  My husband & I both have Calendar on our cell phones, so we know when we have plans, when we have free time & when our bills are due.

Another useful tool is paying bills online.  Most companies save your payment information so if you pay the bill once, you can return each month, click a couple of buttons & pay your bill.  If you are financially able, another useful feature is automatic payments.  Most companies allow customers to schedule their payment so it automatically comes out of the bank on the same day each month.

Decluttering is another way to free up time.  Yes, it takes time to do, but once it’s done, it’s a wonderful thing.  My Grandmom had an aversion to clutter, & would say more stuff is only more stuff to clean & maintain.  She was right.  Less stuff to clean & maintain means more free time for you.

Use common sense, & you no doubt will see activities you can stop or do a different way to free up some time in your life.  You’ll enjoy your life a lot more when you have plenty of time to spend in prayer, reading, or whatever other ways you like to spend your time.  You’ll also be much less anxious & more able to face whatever issues you need to face.  xoxo

19 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Christian Topics and Prayers, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

19 responses to “Being Too Busy

  1. Excellent post as usual! One thing I’ve noticed as I’m learning to take the time to face the pain is to be cautious in what I share with others. As I feel like I’ve made many breakthroughs and shown many insights, I want to share them with others. Of course this is often the wrong thing to do, as the others often don’t want to hear it, and instead decide they don’t like the messenger. I’ve seen my circle of friends shrink as many just don’t want to talk to me because my thoughts are too deep. All this to say, sometimes the little white lie of “I’ve been really busy” is sometimes the best approach when interacting with others. I hope that makes sense.

    Liked by 1 person

    • As soon as I hit “send” on this, it dawned on me that saying “I’ve been really busy” isn’t really a lie at all. I have been busy, just not in ways the world values. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you muchly! 🙂

      It does make sense. So many times, people prefer to hear that than deeper things. Seems to me lots of folks think deeper topics are too “negative” for some reason. Mention narcissism & you’re definitely being too negative for many people.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Most in my world would prefer I “go away” to therapy and then come back when I am ready to be an appropriate audience member that just sits and claps at their “show” – haha! I used to try to differentiate hardcore narcissists from others in this regard, but I’m slowly getting the feeling that this is how most people are these days. No concept of “co-stars” – just supporting players and audience members. I think it’s social media. The “like” is the ultimate goal now.

        Liked by 2 people

        • I really wish you were wrong about that but I don’t think you are, unfortunately. It really does seem like people want as many “likes” as they can get, on & off Facebook. Bizarre..

          Liked by 1 person

          • I know it’s true. If I post something somewhat controversial publically on Facebook, the kids come out of the woodwork. If I Direct Message them privately to discuss more more deeply, one-on-one, they ignore me. It finally dawned on me that the reason was that they wanted attention from the larger audience. Talking to me one-on-one wasn’t enough for them.

            Liked by 2 people

            • ibikenyc

              Gee. That would explain a LOT.

              Liked by 1 person

            • Ridiculous yet I believe it. Ugh!

              Liked by 1 person

            • I think the hardest thing for me to accept is that I really don’t need others for validation or approval. God is with me when I turn to Him. I know the “Footsteps” meme is cliche these days, but it really is true. I have to accept now that others are on their own paths. And if they choose to seek “Likes” in the world, rather than real connections and friendships, I have to let them.

              Please know I am extremely grateful for this forum hidden away on the internet, where I feel like I can tell the truth, and not just “perform”.

              Liked by 2 people

              • I love “Footsteps.” When I was a kid it was my grandmom’s favorite poem & my mother wrote it for her in calligraphy. 🙂

                That is tough to do, let others seek their “likes” instead of truth & good things for them. It’s so frustrating watching someone you care about go after something bad!

                I’m so glad you feel that way! ❤

                Liked by 1 person

  2. ibikenyc

    Oh, MAN!

    I have a soapbox about this the size of Texas (which I will spare you because I like you 😉 )

    (Aside from the emotional / “Soul” implications of it, “The BIZzees,” as I call them, are the people who do stuff like text while driving.)

    I (usually-internally) roll my eyes about this and Thank God that I have never fallen prey to it.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. My GCB is constantly busy. He runs two businesses and has many employees. Those businesses are in two different states so he’s always on the road. He’s married with 3 children. He plays and coaches hockey. I don’t think he’s ever still. He is our mothers staunchest defender, greatest enabler, and surrogate father. He never admits that we were traumatized by our Nrents, but I believe that he keeps so busy to avoid having to think about what we experienced growing up. My fear is that one day he’ll be forced to stop because of misfortune, illness, or just old age, and find that he has no way to avoid dealing with his emotional scars.

    Liked by 3 people

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