My husband & I were recently talking about the Myers Briggs personalities. For those of you familiar with the types, he’s an INTJ & I’m INFJ.
I mentioned how INFJs are often thought of as too logical for the feeling types & too feeling for the logical types, so we don’t always fit in with either. We use both emotions & logic to make decisions & problem solve, & I find this incredibly useful. Many people don’t do this. Since he’s the logical T type, I had to explain how my mind works when there is a situation I need to deal with at hand. I thought it might help others as well, so I decided to share.
Basically, I think of the situation like I’m looking at a show on tv or a movie. This allows me to detach emotionally enough to come up with a logical resolution. He mentioned one of our favorite true crime shows, “Homicide Hunter” with Detective Joe Kenda, because it sounded to him like when they recreate the detective’s work when he first arrived at crime scenes. It was actually a good description! If you have seen this show, you know what happens. They set the detective at the scene & remove the other police officers, witnesses, & victims. The detective is left with an empty crime scene & he can start piecing together what happened as he looks around. Certain things get his attention like a pool of blood, a knife in a sink, or items that obviously were spilled. Each of these clues fits together in his mind & begins to form a picture of what happened.
That is exactly how I problem solve! When something happens, I pull away from it for at least a few minutes. I look at situations & mentally remove unnecessary pieces so I can focus more on the clues. Emotions enter back in once I have a clearer idea of the situation. Keeping them out at first allows me not to make an overly emotional assessment of the situation. Emotions are necessary though so naturally they come back in when they can serve me better.
An example of this is years ago, someone I didn’t know well accused a man I knew of molesting her sisters as children. I was taken aback! She just spouted this out of nowhere plus knowing this person, I couldn’t believe it. After the conversation was finished, I thought a great deal about it. It was difficult, especially considering what I write about! A part of me wanted to tell her she was lying, that’s impossible, but the victim advocate part of me wanted to offer help or at least empathy. I considered the situation as I described, examining the clues first. This person & her family didn’t even live in the same state as the accused man for most of their life. I also saw this man a great deal in my life & not one time, did I see anything even slightly inappropriate in his behavior. How could he hide his deviant ways for that long? It’d be impossible! He also loved children & was a good, Godly man. I realized either she was misinformed or was lying because she hated the man in question. I’m grateful that I took the time to consider this situation though because it helped me to find out the truth & treat the person accordingly. For the record, I never spoke to her again.
If you are in a situation that you need to figure out, I would like to encourage you to try doing it as I suggested. It really is very helpful for creating good solutions while also giving you a good perspective on the situation that isn’t unbalanced with too little or too much emotion.