One Way Narcissists & Flying Monkeys Bully Victims

One “funny” thing I’ve noticed about narcissists is they have what I think of as electronics courage. Electronics courage is when a person feels they have the right to say anything they feel like on text, your social media, email or even over the phone. Yet in person, they are civil to you.

I have a ton of examples from my own life, but I’ll only share a couple. One of my aunts who I have since blocked from my life loved her electronics courage. She once commented on one of my Facebook posts that I needed to get into therapy & figure out how to work things out with my parents, & “don’t dare tell her it won’t work!” As my father was dying in 2017, I was no contact with my parents. Several of my cousins tried to bully me into saying good bye to him. They sent an innundation of texts & Facebook messages daily during the final three weeks of his life. One tried calling me through Facebook messenger & let the phone ring for ten to fifteen minutes. Not one of these cowards showed up at my home, mind you. Instead, like my aunt, they hid behind their computers & phones.

How about you? Can you think of similar situations in your experience with narcissists & their flying monkeys? I would bet you can. If not, it will happen to you at some point if you have or had a narcissist in your life.

When this happens to you, the smartest thing you can do is block all access these people have to you. Block them on all social media platforms, block their email addresses & telephone numbers. Chances are, they will use alternate social media accounts, emails & phone numbers to try to contact you, so block those, too.

If at all possible, eliminate voicemail. I found hearing their voices angered me so I don’t have voicemail on my home phone. This was impossible to do on my cell, so I ignore all voicemail messages. I’m letting the mailbox fill up so no one can leave any messages. I also changed my message to callers telling them not to leave me a voicemail message because I won’t respond. Narcissists & their flying monkeys will ignore that request of course, but at least other people will listen.

There are also apps available to block phones from calling & texting. If your cell phone doesn’t have a good block feature, look into the apps. One thing you should know about the apps – some may technically block texts, but you still can see them. You need to make sure the settings are set so you don’t have to see them.

The laws for harassment & stalking are changing, & finally catching up with the times. If you are being harassed electronically, one smart move to make is to save any & all communication from the narcissist & flying monkeys. Take screen shots, save emails & voicemails. Save them on a cloud service or email them to yourself & save the emails on your email provider. Phones & computers crash, so it’s best not to save them on phones or computers where one crash means they can be lost forever. You may need this documentation to show to law enforcement. Even if those harassing you aren’t technically breaking the law just yet, still document their abuse. When they finally do break the law, you’ll have plenty of evidence showing their bad behavior & intentions towards you going back a long time. This can help build your case with law enforcement.

When this situation happens to you, I know it can be very hard. It’s disturbing when someone sends you constant messages full of hatred. It makes you wonder what the person is truly capable of, doesn’t it? Most narcissists & flying monkeys are simply full of hot air & electronics courage, spewing their venom from the safety of behind a computer or phone. That being said though, never underestimate them. These people can be capable of even worse behavior. Take all measures you can to protect yourself, & block all access they can possibly have to you.

10 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

10 responses to “One Way Narcissists & Flying Monkeys Bully Victims

  1. My mom always used the phone. The phone was her biggest weapon. Sad, really. Glad there will be no more phone calls…or even the fear of the phone call

    Liked by 2 people

    • My father too! It sure is a relief when there is no more phone calls or even just the fear of it, isn’t it? Oddly though, I feel like my body still prepares for his calls in the evenings because I often am very tense around the time he used to call. Do you experience that?

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      • Oh yeah…even when I walked into the room when she was on life support, I felt fear of her and what she could do. Even when her ashes arrived at my house I felt that fear. She used to do alot of damage with the phone. I’m guessing it’s something ingrained that you have to talk yourself out of each time

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        • Terrible, but I totally understand that! Narcissists do so much damage & when the narcissist is a parent, that damage seems to become a part of your makeup.

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          • Sure does. I’m fascinated in learning more about the behavior/personality. I often wonder if she drank and used drugs as a way to escape the narcissist in her. Unknowingly causing it to have more life instead. There were many glimpses of good in her when she was younger. Do you follow any blogs like yours where they post like you do? I’ve tried to look but it isn’t the same as yours

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            • Oh I know! I’m fascinated by it too.

              That would make sense, she was trying to escape it. If only it had worked!

              I’m not surprised. I really think there are (relatively speaking) very few totally evil people in the world. Most people have some good in them, even narcissists. Maybe not much, but some anyway.

              Biblical Perspectives on Narcissism is a fascinating one. It explains the Biblical side of narcissism & ways to cope. Very technical & fascinating! A Blog About Healing From PTSD is another wonderful one I think because it helps you know you’re not alone. Author is a friend of mine & lovely lady. The website for Luke 17:3 Ministries & their Facebook pages are also really wonderful & written by a friend, but she doesn’t have a blog. Those aside though, I really am not sure. I follow some pages on Facebook but am thinking of cutting back on them. Not as much technical info as I’d like so I doubt you’d be interested in them.

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              • Yeah I’m not on FB being a former addict, it’s addicting to me and not healthy lol. Plus there’s many from the past I don’t want finding me. I follow A Blog about Healing from PTSD. Love her. Found you through her I believe. I’ll check out the other one you suggested. Thanks! Say a prayer for me, we will have memorial service for my mother this Saturday…I’d like to throw my anger and bitterness in the lake along with her ashes, seriously. Be a cool miracle to be free of it.

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                • I can totally understand why you avoid Facebook! Sounds like a smart move.

                  Glad you love her too! 🙂

                  You’re welcome! I think you’ll like the other blog. It’s really interesting!

                  Consider prayers said for you!

                  One thing I’ve done that helps is to visualize doing just that type of thing. I imagine myself putting whatever I don’t want into a box, & giving it to Jesus or giving it back to the narcissist in question & walking away. It’s no miracle cure, & it has to be done a few times, but it does help a lot. I hope it helps you too!

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  2. godspeach

    Try and contact?? My family has moved on without me. Period. I had to put some space between my mom and oldest sister last year because they were pressuring me to take part in a huge celebration for my mom and pay to keep the “family” home.
    I refused both as politely as I could, but they became offended. My oldest sister spoke to me in April 2021, when our dad died. She wanted to tell me “her plans” for his home going celebration, but could care less to hear what I might want or think.
    I didn’t attend. My husband went. My mother hosted. Yes, she hosted as if it was Showtime at the Apollo!!!
    He taped it!!! Sad and hilarious 😆!!
    The only person I’ve spoken to is my older brother who gets where I’m coming from about our family.
    I needed to make the break from them, but it hurts that my mother can drive all over town and other places, but never comes by…none of them speak to me anymore…so, I’m having to grieve being tossed away like trash and forgotten.
    My mother got her wish. She wanted to isolate me. She has. But, I’m praying for God to bring me other healthy people whom I can love and be loved!!!

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    • Wow… You’re one of the “lucky” (using term loosely) who got away without stalking & harassment. I’m sure it hurt, so please don’t think I’m trying to minimize or discount your feelings. That has to hurt badly, being so easily discarded.

      The Bible says God gives families to the lonely. It’s very true! He’s done it for me & can do it for you too! ❤️

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