Making A Change

I just thought I would let everyone know I’m thinking of making a change in my writing. Instead of only sharing what I learn about NPD, narcissistic abuse, & C-PTSD, I have decided to expand that a bit into ways to add more joy into your life.

Since I turned 50 in April, I guess you could say I’m having a mid life crisis of sorts. (No, I’m not going to divorce my husband, date a guy who’s half my age & buy a Mazda Miata.. lol) I’ve come to realize how little I’ve enjoyed my life. NPD has taken up so much time & space in it! It’s time to make some changes.

You know how the Bible says that the enemy has come to steal, kill & destroy, & is looking for someone he may devour? Well, I firmly believe he does this, but not always in obvious ways. Sometimes those ways are subtle. Being abused by a narcissist is both obvious & subtle in its devastation to one’s life. The abuse itself is obvious of course, especially when it’s someone raging at you like an overt narcissist does or giving you intense guilt trips like a covert narcissist. But the aftermath is much more subtle. It is so easy to get caught up in obsessing over trying to understand what happened & ways to heal, that you can fail to enjoy your life. That has happened to me & I’m tired of it! I would guess that many of you reading this feel the same way.

At the time I’m writing this, I have about 8 months worth of blog posts written & scheduled to publish. You won’t see many posts on enjoying life for a bit because of that. I may rearrange & reschedule as I go to interject some but I’m not sure yet. That depends on what I feel God wants me to do. More of those posts definitely will be published in the future along with my usual educational type of posts though.

Please just bear with me through this. I’m not entirely sure yet how this is going to play out. I’ve felt God putting it on my heart to write more about enjoying life from a Christian perspective as I learn to, but as of the moment, not many details have been forthcoming.

Thank you for your understanding & patience with me, & always being there! I love all of you! xoxo

18 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Christian Topics and Prayers, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism, Writing

18 responses to “Making A Change

  1. I am sure you will be blessed by the change you are looking at. God’s grace, peace and blessings on you and yours Cynthia.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well this is cool that you’ve come to this realization. I completely understand. I look forward to your changes. God will guide you.

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  3. I agree that it is important to focus on how much you are enjoying life. I am divorced and my husband was a narc. When I created my blog account I told myself it would be rare when I talk about the abuse I suffered through but instead I’d focus on my triumphs and self reflections. I look forward to reading your future posts!

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  4. I endorse this addition to your work. I think it’s a good thing for your readers and yourself. It seems to me it follows naturally from what you’ve been doing up to now. And, as healing occurs, it seems to me that the space formerly taken up by first the suffering and then the effort to heal, can be filled by a new enjoyment of a new life. I have found this to be so myself in recent years more and more as I get older ( I am 62). Best wishes to you.

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    • Thank you so much, Claudia! I truly appreciate all you said! ❤

      That is exactly what I think too. So much of life was taken up by the abuse, then working on healing… there needs to be enjoying life. Pretty sure we all have earned that!

      Seems like it starts kicking in as you age, doesn't it? This never really occurred to me when I was in my twenties or thirties.

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      • Nothing ocurred to me in my twenties and thirties, I am sad to say! because I think we had little or no information and prevailing attitudes were different about parents and children, I think. But as I have had more experiences over my lifetime a pattern emerges and I believe my own evidence more than that of others on matters like these. Finding out that other people had similar experiences and that there was a name for all of this, etc., was liberating but it came to me in my 50’s. With thankfully enough time for me to make use of the knowledge and also the strengths I have gained by dealing such a situation.

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        • That makes sense.. there wasn’t as much information about such things at that time & the attitudes were you take whatever your parents do to you with a smile. Enjoying life had to take a back seat to survival.

          It truly is liberating when you learn there is a name for it & you’re not the only one isn’t it?

          Better late than never to learn about enjoying life, for sure. I just wish we’d been able to learn this earlier & enjoyed more of it! At least once we do learn, we can start making up for lost time & enjoying things as much as possible.

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  5. Good for you! I always really enjoy your posts and learn a lot from them but if you think writing exclusively about healing from the abuse that you’ve suffered is making you dwell too much on negativity, then wanting to write more positive posts is a wonderful realisation to make. It’s important that you feel like you’re doing the best thing for yourself when you write. I’m sure that the ideas will come to you – you are an amazing writer. Wow, eight months worth of blog posts! You must be an incredibly organised writer! Sometimes I still struggle with what to write about a week before a post has to go up!

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    • Thank you so much! ❤

      I agree. It's important to realize I've been dwelling too much on negativity. Same with my readers, which is natural since they read what I write. I think it's time we all lighten up a bit. We can learn AND have some joy too.

      Thank you again! I appreciate your complement on my writing! You're an amazing writer yourself! I love reading your blog! 🙂

      Not organized really… scheduling so far ahead came out of necessity. I realized I couldn't write every day or every other day or whatever. It's too serious & heavy of a topic for that. I started writing as I felt like it & scheduling posts for every other day. It added up pretty quickly. Then when I was recovering from carbon monoxide poisoning, I couldn't write. I was glad to have the posts scheduled. In time, I was able to write again but not as easily because of the brain damage, so the scheduling thing REALLY came in handy! Some days I only write a post or two in a full day's time, then nothing for a couple of weeks. But scheduling posts so far ahead means I don't feel pressured to write if I'm unable. If you can do the same, I highly recommend it. It takes the pressure off blogging, because you just write when the inspiration strikes & relax when it doesn't.

      By the way.. I caught "Crip Camp". (well most of it.. got about half an hour left to watch). You weren't kidding.. it's really good!!

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      • True, I’ve started adding up some here and there to take some of the stress away. It’s hard to find the time to write many to save up but, on the days when I am free, I’m trying to take more advantage of the opportunity to be able to stock up. I’m really glad that you’re watching Crip Camp! And I’m even more happy that you’re enjoying it. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts when you’re finished 😊

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        • Good! It does help when you have a surplus of posts. 🙂

          That’s a great use of your free time. The more you can write in advance, the better.

          Thank you for the recommendation! What I love about Crip Camp is how it shows the humanity of the people in the video. Didn’t realize it until I watched it but that’s something that’s missing from how disabled people are portrayed in tv & movies, as normal human beings with their own unique feelings, wants, etc. Seems TV & movies neglect to show them that way. They might be comic relief or whatever, but not really portrayed as just normal people who happen to have a disability. Hope that makes sense. I hadn’t really thought about it before watching Crip Camp. Weird. I should have. A friend of mine is in a wheelchair., & she was the post child for the March Of Dimes in the 70’s, 80’s We’ve known each other since elementary school. Granted, we’re not super close (she’s very extroverted & I’m very introverted so we kinda clash in that respect) but still knowing her all these years you’d think that would’ve crossed my mind. Duh!

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          • I completely agree. One of the main things that I am advocating for is better representation of disabled people in media. You’re correct that that human element is often missing. I think people usually forget that we’re people as well and not just objects of inspiration or pity. It’s a shame and it’s something that definitely needs to change. I understand that you didn’t notice it before though, neither did I really until I started my blog and started to review disabled representation in films. It opened my eyes to a lot of things that may be toxic or considered as misrepresentation in popular films. For instance, Me Before You is trending right now on Netflix and is advertised as an emotionally-moving film. The only thing that film did was move me to tears of anger and frustration. I’m very happy that you watched and enjoyed Crip Camp and that you were able to learn from it. That film will always have a special place in my heart.

            Liked by 1 person

            • Good! I hope your advocating results in change! It should! It makes no sense, really, to eliminate the human aspect from anyone in the media. If you want to create a believable story, every character should be human in every way with emotions, wants, etc.

              I guess it’s so normal that until your attention is called to it, it’s just accepted, yanno? Which is wrong. I’m glad you called my attention to Crip Camp & that was unique enough to open my eyes!

              Ugh.. I’m sorry! Some things that society finds so great really can be offensive & it sounds like that film is one of them.

              I see why Crip Camp has a special place in your heart! Truly a wonderful film! 🙂

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