I was mopping my basement floor in our old house one morning when I remembered the oddest thing. The paint was flaking off badly, & had been since immediately after I painted that floor not long before we moved into our home. I’d never painted concrete before & had no clue it required special prep before paint.
What I remembered was how about the time my husband & I went to settlement on our house, I mentioned to both my father & father in-law on separate occasions that I was going to paint the basement walls & floor first, so we could start to move our belongings in the basement very soon after settlement. Then I would focus on painting the main level. Neither my father nor father in-law said a word.
Shortly after, I told both fathers on separate occasions again that I had finished painting the basement. Both men had the exact same reaction. They asked if I prepared the floor with muriatic acid before painting. I was surprised because I never even heard of this product. I told them no. And again, both men had the same reaction. Both shook their heads & smirked at me, not saying another word.
Having never painted any concrete before, I had no idea that muriatic acid could be used to pre-treat concrete to help paint stick to the surface. A little tip that might have been nice to know prior to working so hard painting the entire concrete floor in my home’s basement, don’t you think?
Unfortunately, both my father & father in-law were narcissists. My father a covert one who became more overt as he got older & developed Alzheimer’s. My father in-law was overt in his younger days & became much less narcissistic as he got older in spite of having dementia.
When I thought about this situation, I realized that their responses were typically narcissistic, & I’ll tell you why. Both men had the typical male need to feel useful, but I believe being narcissists, it was very exaggerated. I can’t help but wonder if me not asking for their advice prior to my painting task offended them to the point of narcissistic injury. It’s entirely possible of course. Narcissists get offended so easily.
What also is entirely possible is that by not giving me the information they knew I needed, they set me up in order to feel superior. Narcissists LOVE to feel superior to other people in any & every way. It props up their ego & seems to just feel really good to them. While almost anyone can appreciate feeling superior to some small degree, narcissists take it to an extreme. They need it like an addict needs their drug of choice, & many times, will do anything in order to access that feeling of superiority. They have no problem withholding information or providing false information, or even blatantly lying to or about their victim. Whatever it takes to make them feel superior is going to be done. If you or someone else gets hurt in the process, that isn’t important. What the narcissist wants is the only thing that matters. At least to the narcissist, that is.
Knowing this information is vital for anyone who comes in contact with a narcissist in any capacity. It can help you to avoid a great deal of frustration & wondering why they did what they did. Remember that they are selfish to the extreme, & all that matters to them is whatever they want at that specific moment. Hurting others to get that is not a big deal to anyone who lacks empathy, like narcissists. It’s very sad that there are people out there who are so pathetic they are willing to hurt anyone & everyone to accomplish their goals, but unfortunately, there are people like that. And they are everywhere! Be aware of that fact & protect yourself!