How To Identify Safe People

When you have been in a relationship with a narcissist, whether the narcissist is your parent, friend or lover, it can skew how you see other people.  Although you want to find safe, genuine people to be in relationship with, it’s easy to become somewhat paranoid, seeing narcissistic traits everywhere.  It can become hard to figure out who is safe & who isn’t, but it doesn’t need to be.

In Matthew 10:16, Jesus tells His disciples, “Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.” (KJV)  You need to follow this wisdom, too- it isn’t only for the disciples.  To do that, you need to remember what you have learned about spotting narcissists, but also you need to learn ways to identify safe people.

Safe people:

• have empathy.  They understand how others feel, they don’t just say they do but you can tell they have no idea.
• are thoughtful.
• they have good boundaries.
• they accept people as they are, without trying to change them.
• they learn from their mistakes.
• they accept responsibility when appropriate, rather than pass the blame onto someone else.
• have a good sense of humor, & don’t make inappropriate jokes at the expense of other people.
• don’t look to others for approval.
• aren’t judgmental.

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