Being “Oversensitive”

Anyone who has been subjected to narcissistic abuse most likely has been ridiculed, judged & criticized for being too sensitive.  Claiming their victim is too sensitive seems to be one of the favorite ways all narcissists love to abuse.  It’s no wonder, really.  It’s a pretty effective weapon when you think about it.  If someone can convince you that you are in the wrong for being upset about something they say or do, then you will stop verbalizing your feelings.  Instead of confronting them, you may still feel upset, but you will tolerate what they do quietly rather than face their harsh judgment.  It’s just natural behavior.  At least until you learn that this really isn’t about you being too sensitive.  It’s about the narcissist being an abusive jerk.

One thing about being “too sensitive” I’ve come to realize though is being sensitive truly is NOT a sign of weakness.  I know, narcissists say it is, but it isn’t.  It’s more a sign of weakness to hide your feelings.

Hiding rather than being open about being a sensitive person certainly can appear to be the best & easiest choice, but really, I don’t think it is.  Feelings must be processed, & if they aren’t processed in healthy ways, they’ll manifest in very unhealthy ways such as physical & mental health problems.  Heart disease, high blood pressure, kidney disease, adrenal fatigue & diabetes often can manifest in people who are very adept at hiding their true feelings.  Anxiety & depression, even to the point of suicide are common among people who keep their feelings inside.

Being sensitive takes courage.  Admitting how you feel goes against the norm, & can be met with intense cruelty.  Not many people can handle someone’s honesty about their feelings.  They only want people around them to act happy & as if nothing bad ever happens to them.  They don’t want to hear anything negative or be forced to deal with a topic that’s deeper than the very superficial.  There are also those, like narcissists, who see people who are openly sensitive as weak.  Anyone abused by a narcissist knows this, & exactly how hard it is to deal with people like this.  Being willing to be vulnerable takes courage, but especially after being mocked & abused for being this way.

Being sensitive also is a sign that you have a loving heart.  Again, another thing narcissists will say isn’t true, but as usual, they’re wrong.  You’re offended for someone who is treated poorly & angry for those who are abused because you care about people & don’t want to see them hurt.  This goes for yourself too.  If someone hurts you & it upsets you, that’s because you love yourself & know you deserve better than to be treated like this.  That loving heart can help you to create healthy boundaries & even confront people about their bad behavior when it would be simpler to pretend they didn’t do whatever it was they just did that hurt you.

The next time someone criticizes you for being oversensitive, remind yourself that being sensitive is simply proof that you are a wonderful person.  If someone can’t appreciate that fact, it’s their loss.  You just be you, & don’t worry about their approval.  Stand up for what’s right, cry at sad songs & movies & don’t hide your feelings!  Be proud of being a rare gem by being a caring, sensitive person! 

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11 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Christian Topics and Prayers, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

11 responses to “Being “Oversensitive”

  1. Stella Reddy

    Thank you for your thoughts, nice to see another person’s perspective. It helps to reenforce what I am learning about Bullies!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Cynthia, well said. Being sensitive, like kindness, is NOT a weakness. I use this story often, but Atticus Finch chose not to stoop to the level of the weak man who spit on him. Finch’s affront was to say the white man beat his own daughter and blamed a black man for it because he could. Finch could have easily bested the drunk man looking for a fight, but he chose not to and slowly cleaned his face and walked away. The same Mr. Finch stood down a white mob when they wanted to take his black client out of jail and lynch him. That does not sound like weakness to me.

    There is an old line, beware of the quiet person. The one who talks big is all talk. My grandfather was a quiet, tough, and hardworking man. But, he was also sensitive and would melt when his grandkids were around. A narcissist is just someone who talks big and down to others. I will take Atticus Finch or more grandfather any day over these big talkers. Keith

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    • AMEN!!! I totally agree.. Finch & your grandfather win any day over anyone loud & talks big.

      By the way, my grandfather was much like yours from the sound of it. ❤

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      • Did he like to fish? My grandfather would take my father, brother and me fishing when we visited. He would invariably catch dozens and dozens of fish, but was so quiet, you never knew he did. Keith

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        • No. He was more into gardening & yard stuff for outdoor activities. Also into building & making all kinds of stuff. Woodworking in particular. He was an electrician briefly, then master machinist & engineer by trade so he was very creative. In fact, he built their home. First & only home he ever built, & still stands.

          Wow! Your grandfather was quite a fisherman! That’s amazing! Those trips must have been very special to you

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          • Cynthia, they were. Wow, about building their home. Ironically, so did my grandfather – he was a bricklayer and built many homes where they lived, including theirs. His hands were so rough, he could pick up a live catfish as he took the hook out of its mouth. Keith

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  3. ibikenyc

    This is making me smile out loud right now! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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