Being Very Sensitive After Narcissistic Abuse

I recently learned a word I never heard before.  That word is clairsentience.  According to Merriam Webster online, it means to perceive the things that aren’t usually perceptible.  In some further reading on the topic, I realized many people think clairsentience is a psychic power like being a spirit medium or fortune teller, but I don’t think that’s the case at all.  Some people are naturally more perceptive & sensitive to things than other people.  And, some people are exceptionally perceptive & sensitive. 

I’ve always picked up on energy.  Not just the energy people naturally put off, like a happy person has a happy “vibe”.  I mean energy like if a person who loves me has been in my home, I can feel their good energy for some time after they leave.  The same goes if someone is angry or hateful has been in my home – I feel their negative energy too.  Prior to my husband & I buying his late parents’ home, he met with his sisters at that house one day.  The first time I went into that house several days after they left, I felt their negative energy the moment I walked in the door.  It was so pronounced, I felt like it slapped me in the face.

In thinking about this phenomenon known as clairsentience, I’ve noticed it is quite common in those who have been abused by narcissists, even if victims don’t always realize it.  It seems to me having to be completely in tune with a narcissist’s wants, needs, feelings & even whims in order to avoid disappointing them by facing their wrath can create this deep awareness in some people.  I believe it to be one aspect of hyper-vigilance.  I also think that many victims of narcissistic abuse aren’t aware that this clairsentience can be a good thing because of its relation to hyper-vigilance so often making it uncomfortable. 

Clairsentience can help you to be in tune with people other than the narcissist.  You can realize quickly the mood of someone you care about.  You also pick up on subtle things like how a person truly feels about you or if they’re in need of something but don’t want to ask. 

Clairsentience can make a person very empathic & in tune with those in their life, which is a wonderful thing for relationships.  It leads to having very close, good relationships partly because of this.

It also naturally means you can identify toxic people very quickly, because you can pick up on subtle cues that other people may not notice.  For example, narcissists are smug people, but not all wear that smugness proudly.  In some, it’s barely noticeable at all.  It may appear as a look in their eye or a slightly disappointed expression when talking about those they deem not as good as themselves.  Many people won’t notice those subtle cues, but a person with clairsentience will recognize those very subtle clues & (hopefully at least!) avoid people like this.  This skill means that a person with clairsentience can have very good, healthy relationships while wasting very little time on the bad ones.

Another plus is the sensitivity to energy.  Being able to feel the “vibe” of a gathering of people is a useful skill because it helps you to figure out quickly how best to act in the environment.

If you realize you fit the description of someone with clairsentience, then I urge you not to look at it as a bad thing or some strange psychic phenomenon.  Instead, just appreciate it as the useful life skill that it is.