Making Assumptions About People

It’s amazing to me the assumptions that people often make about each other.  Some people assume someone with tattoos & piercings can’t hold down a good job, for example.  Others assume women with blonde hair are all ditzy.  There are so many other assumptions that are equally ridiculous.

I’ve always been an introvert, & pretty quiet.  Around people I’m very close to, I can be fairly chatty, but those I’m not comfortable with or don’t really know well, I’m very quiet.  This has led to some pretty stupid assumptions about me from other people.  One of my sisters in-law told my husband I obviously think I’m better than their family & treat them like “trash.”  The accusation was astonishing since I really tried hard for years to be civil & even nice to her.  Guessing any of you introverts reading this have experienced similar accusations.  People often think being quiet means we feel superior. Some even think it means we’re depressed, whether or not we truly are depressed.

With the prominence of social media, assumptions have become even more commonplace.  Since many people share so much on there, they assume everyone else does.  If a person doesn’t share a lot, ridiculous assumptions are made.  In my life, people seem to think I must not have much to do each day since I rarely share anything personal.  I just see no point in sharing my plans for whatever I plan to do each day.  I also don’t complain about my physical & mental health concerns, so people assume they aren’t a daily struggle.  People also see pictures on social media of a happy couple or playing children & assume these people are living happy, care free lives.  They don’t realize that there could be a lot of pain hiding behind those smiles.

Assuming things about other people is so unwise.  People may be absolutely nothing like what you assume they are.  That big burly biker guy may have a baby at home that makes him melt into a big teddy bear every time he sees her.  That woman in your church who appears so pious & volunteers constantly may be abusing her husband & children at home.  

Making assumptions is so bad that the Bible discusses the topic in several locations.  All Scriptures are from the Amplified Bible.

  • I Samuel 16:7 “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
  • Proverbs 18:2  “A [closed-minded] fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his personal opinions [unwittingly displaying his self-indulgence and his stupidity].”
  • John 7:24 “Do not judge by appearance [superficially and arrogantly], but judge fairly and righteously.”
  • James 4:11 “Believers, do not speak against or slander one another. He who speaks [self-righteously] against a brother or judges his brother [hypocritically], speaks against the Law and judges the Law. If you judge the Law, you are not a doer of the Law but a judge of it.”

The next time you are tempted to make an assumption about someone, I would urge you not to do that.  God frowns upon it pretty seriously, as these Scriptures point out.  Even if He didn’t, by behaving this way, you may be missing out on knowing some pretty awesome people.  Matthew 10:16 says, “Listen carefully: I am sending you out like sheep among wolves; so be wise as serpents, and innocent as doves [have no self-serving agenda].”  I believe these words to be incredibly wise when dealing with people.  Spot the signs that they are either safe or unsafe & act accordingly.  Yet also be willing to be kind to everyone.

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10 Comments

Filed under Christian Topics and Prayers, Enjoying Life

10 responses to “Making Assumptions About People

  1. Cynthia, well said. I am sad you have been on the wrong end of some bad assumptions. The quiet person often is. That is why false bravado unfortunately sways people, but most people that use that approach are far less courageous than the image created.

    I am reminded of meeting a motorcycle rider on the way to the beach in a line at McDonalds. I was holding my son and we started a conversation. I asked if he was headed down to the biker’s convention at the beach and he responded saying he was on his way back. He had to take a client to Pine Valley to play golf.

    Two things. This guy is an attorney AND Pine Valley is one of the most exclusive golf courses in the United States. I think we all have stories like this when assumptions are turned on their head.

    Keith

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you!

      Yes.. easier to believe what’s “in your face” than to take a few moments to look deeper, I suppose. & yes, often those people are way less courageous than the image they created!

      That is so cool! I just love people that break stereotypes like that. It’s why I’m such a big fan of Lemmy Kilmister. Being a singer & bassist for Motorhead, a metal band, he looked the part. He acted it too, to some degree. But, he was also highly intelligent & a total history nerd. Not what you’d expect based on his appearance.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh my goodness that’s a harsh assumption. Years back in a long term relationship, my boyfriend’s family thought similarly about me since I was quiet. Oddly enough, I tried my best to smile, be engaging, and talk to them. But apparently they had an expectation that I should be super chatty and bubbly. It’s crazy how people can paint someone as completely different than who they are.

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    • It was a very harsh assumption. It was just one of other ridiculous assumptions, like I “stole” him from his family & kept him from seeing them. Projection really since they were the ones who tried to monopolize his time & come between us.

      Wow, you too?! It seems to me that many extroverts don’t understand that introverts are just naturally quieter & more reserved than them, but when those extroverts are narcissists? It’s practically a guarantee they’ll assume some pretty ridiculous things about introverts.

      Liked by 1 person

      • That’s too bad to hear. 😦 It’s not healthy when family tries to meddle in their kid’s personal life. Some parents don’t know ho to let go. And true you know if someone is assuming bad things about another person with no proof or evidence, you know something’s off.

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  3. Hey Cynthia, I had a run in with one of the narcissists in my life. She said some words to me, I’d like you to decipher if you’re interested. Email me amyblount92@gmail.com as I’d rather not share in here. Should would love sone perspective so I don’t get sucked back in…

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