Some Things (& People!) Are Valuable Even Though Narcissists Disagree

Those of you who know me know I love cars, in particular the classics.  My husband, too.  In fact, our newest vehicle is my late mother’s 2002.

As a result, so many people have asked me why I drive old cars.  Some are downright rude & tell me I should get rid of my old cars & get something new, even though there is no valid reason to do so. 

The fact is that aside from preferring old cars, they also can be a good investment.  Many classic cars are well loved.  If you don’t believe me, go to a car show or watch an auto auction on TV.  Those so called worthless old cars can sell for thousands more than they were when new.  And that brings me to my point..

Just because someone fails to see the value doesn’t mean something has no value.

This statement isn’t true only about classic cars, but about people as well. 

Narcissists do their level best to convince their victims that they are worthless human beings, they are ugly, stupid, lack any real talents or skills & much more.  The goal is to destroy their victims’ self esteem to make those victims easier to control, to make the victims willing to tolerate any abuse & to make the victims stay in the relationship because they feel unable to find anyone else who would tolerate them.  Narcissists do NOT say these things because they are true.

If you have been the victim of narcissistic abuse, please remember this!  Whatever the narcissist said about you wasn’t said because it’s true.  They say these things to further their own agenda, period.  What they say has nothing whatsoever to do with the truth.  In fact, chances are excellent that the narcissist in your life recognized something good or even special in you, which is another reason that he or she tried to destroy your self-esteem.  You clearly outshined the narcissist, & no narcissist can tolerate that.

Please remind yourself of this often!  Don’t let the narcissist succeed in making you feel as worthless as many people see beat up old cars.  You deserve so much better than believing those terrible lies!  Instead, remind yourself that you aren’t worthless just because the narcissist said you were.  You’re even more valuable than even the most pristine & beautiful classic car.  God made you in His own image & loves you tremendously!  Try to remember that & forget what the narcissist has said to you about yourself.  Ask God to tell you the truth about yourself & your situation, too.  Then listen.  What He has to say may surprise you & it will bless you greatly!

6 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Narcissism

6 responses to “Some Things (& People!) Are Valuable Even Though Narcissists Disagree

  1. Cynthia, the best of leaders are open to all ideas from all sources. The best ideas often come from those closest to the action – the customer, the manufacturing floor, etc. For those ego-centric leaders who think only they have the good ideas, that is simply naive and counterproductive. If we respect the value of others, amazing things can happen. Keith

    PS – there is a famous story where a truck driver thought he had enough clearance under an overpass, but the height indicated was inconsistent. He got stuck. No one could figure out how to free the truck until a child asked “Why don’t you let air out of the tires?” The dumbfounded people tried it and the truck driver drove out.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Absolutely!! Being willing to listen to others who are more closely involved is truly one of the signs of a good leader. People who don’t realize that are absolutely naive & counterproductive.

      I remember that story! My ex father in-law was a trucker & told it. Sometimes the most obvious, simplest solutions elude people.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I loved this: “In fact, chances are excellent that the narcissist in your life recognized something good or even special in you, which is another reason that he or she tried to destroy your self-esteem. You clearly outshined the narcissist, & no narcissist can tolerate that.”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ibikenyc

    Beautifully said! 🙂

    Like

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