Subtle Signs Of Disrespect

There are many ways a person can be disrespectful.  Many of those ways are obvious, such as telling another person they’re stupid.  Not all disrespectful ways are so noticeable however.  They are much more subtle, & sadly they happen all the time.  Everyone needs to be aware of them, & that’s the topic of today’s post.

Disrespectful people are selfish.  They may or may not be a narcissist, but even if they aren’t, they are selfish.  They think more of themselves, what they want, think, feel, & need than anyone else to the point they don’t have a lot of room left in their minds for thinking of other people.

A disrespectful person is inconsiderate of others in many ways, but in particular towards those that are romantically involved with them.  If they have a decision to make that affects both parties, they don’t consider how their decision will affect their partner.  They make their decision based on evidence that affects them only.  They also do what they want without consideration of how their actions & behaviors affect the other person in a relationship with them.  They make plans to do things without their partner, without seeing if their partner already had plans or would like to come along.  They change jobs that are far away or have different hours without asking their partner what they think of this arrangement.  They may even move a distance away without discussing it with their significant other first.

Disrespectful people do things that upset other people even when they know their behavior will upset them.  It’s usually not that they deliberately do things to upset other people.  It’s that they simply don’t think about how their behavior affects others.  Or, if they do think of that, they don’t understand why this particular behavior is upsetting to someone.  If they don’t fully understand why this behavior is upsetting to someone, the chances of them repeating the behavior is excellent.  As an example, if someone knows that you are very upset about lateness, yet they continually are let when they meet up with you, that is clearly disrespectful behavior.

A disrespectful person can be controlling.  Let’s say you’re a woman on your first date or one of your first dates with a man.  You go out to dinner together.  If he places your order for you, without asking what you want, that may seem harmless but it’s a subtle sign of control.  Or, if you place your order & he tells the waiter you don’t want that, you want something else instead, that’s another sign of a controlling person. 

Disrespectful people have no respect for the time of others.  If you tell someone you’re on the phone with or visiting that you must go, & they act as if you said nothing, that is disrespectful.

While everyone behaves disrespectfully periodically, it shouldn’t be anyone’s normal behavior.  If someone you know acts this way, they are being very disrespectful & you don’t deserve this kind of treatment! 

You are well within your rights to speak to this person about their behavior.  Hopefully this person isn’t a narcissist, & they will be open to correction.  If you speak to them & they deny doing anything wrong or even turn the behavior back on you somehow, then chances are good you’re dealing with a narcissist.  Confronting narcissists, no matter how calmly or respectfully, rarely ends well for the person doing the confronting.  Pray often, learn all you can about Narcissistic Personality Disorder & figure out how best to handle this relationship.



Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Mental Health, Narcissism

2 responses to “Subtle Signs Of Disrespect

  1. William Mathieu

    Hello sister Cynthia.🌻😊. I enjoyed this post on disrespect. Our Lord knows Ive been there done that. Most the time I was not conscience of it. Fast to speak slow to think what and how I was saying. Through God’s word and a few close to me, I’ve gotten better to think before I speak. Yes, concerning selfish, we’re all born with it to some degree. But becoming conscious of it as we mature, is a person who can look themself in the mirror truthfully. With the Narcissist though, well, though they have crafted many masks to suit most every occasion, they can’t get passed the permanent one that’s not only molded to their face, but ingulfs their mind, heart, and soul. All they can see is a false god😔.
    Thank you again, for your due diligence in helping people to understand and grow spiritually. My God bless many and call them to Himself through Jesus the Christ. Your pain is not in vain sister. It’s beening used to love others by the knowledge you gained. Onward Christian sister.🕊️🌻😊


    • Thank you William, for your kind reply!

      We all are guilty of not thinking before we speak sometimes! Learning from it & changing that though is so important & you clearly are aware of that!

      So true about narcissists & their many masks & their image of a false god. It’s truly sad how blind they are, but so many are willfully blind. It’s what they want to be.

      Thank you for your encouragement! It is very appreciated! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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