The Truth Versus Your Truth

A fairly common saying among people today is about speaking “your truth.”  It sounds empowering on the surface, doesn’t it?  But if you look a bit deeper than just at the surface, you see it is far from empowering. 

“Your truth” can be anything.  Your truth could be that grass is purple, as an example.  You could believe that with every single fiber of your being.  You could post it all over social media, wear clothing that says grass is purple & even message or call everyone you know daily to remind them that you believe that grass is purple.  Your conviction, however strong it may be, doesn’t mean that grass is indeed purple.  The truth is that grass is green, not purple.  And, encouraging someone to believe that the grass is purple instead of all evidence that proves it’s green is enabling some belief that isn’t true.  That is never a good thing!

Abuse survivors frequently are told to speak “their truth.”  This often seems very condescending to me, as if the person saying this is telling the victim “you weren’t really abused, but if it makes you feel better saying that you were, then go for it!”  If someone is abused, that abuse isn’t simply “their truth.”  If someone was abused in any way – verbally, emotionally, mentally, physically, sexually, financially or spiritually – that is the truth.  It isn’t subjective.  It’s a fact.  To tell a person that “their truth” is that someone abused them rather than recognizing it as a fact is very minimizing of the real truth.

I firmly believe people who use the phrase “your truth” often are being manipulative.  Not always, since some people innocently use the phrase in trying to help others of course, but I don’t see that happening all that often.  Much more frequently, when this phrase is used, manipulation is involved.  People who use this phrase may be trying to make someone feel stupid & themselves superior by patronizing them when they use the phrase, “your truth” instead of “the truth.”  They also may be trying to stop the person they are speaking with from discussing abuse by making them feel badly or doubt that they were abused when they say comments about “your truth.”  Such a snarky, condescending comment can make most people doubt what they say is truly accurate.  Whatever the reason, when a person says something about you discussing “your truth,” it often is a big red flag, & should not be ignored.

When someone says something about you speaking “your truth”, it can be hard not to submit to their belittling, minimizing attitude, especially if you have been abused.  Abusers minimize their victims’ complaints & concerns, which can make them doubt themselves with or without their abusers’ input.  It simply becomes a very bad habit.  I want to encourage you today not to doubt yourself though!  Remind yourself that there is no such thing as “your truth.”  There is only “the truth.”  If you have any doubts about what the truth is in your situation, then research what the Bible has to say about the topic at hand.  The Bible can prove or disprove any topic, & is full of the real truth.  After all, God is the God of truth, according to Psalm 31:5.  In the Amplified Bible, it says, “Into Your hand I commit my spirit; You have redeemed me, O Lord, the God of truth and faithfulness.” 

2 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Christian Topics and Prayers, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Evil Spirits and Spiritual Warfare, Mental Health, Narcissism

2 responses to “The Truth Versus Your Truth

  1. Cynthia, you nailed it! I remember someone saying that to me, years ago, about speaking ‘your truth’. I don’t recall the circumstances or who said it, but I remember it felt very demeaning.

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