Since I began writing about narcissism, surviving narcissistic abuse & the awful effects on its victims, some people have told me I need to focus on writing about lighter, more pleasant topics. It’s too negative. People need to think about positive things, not just the negative. I only write about what I do because I’m wallowing in the past. I need to forget it & move on.
The truth is, I do agree with the fact that people need to focus on positive things, not just the negative. That is all I agree with in the above statements however.
In all honesty, writing about narcissism isn’t easy. I’m often learning something new, & it can be depressing just how pervasive narcissism & narcissistic abuse are. I get tired of it all. It’s a very emotionally draining topic & can be triggering for my C-PTSD. I have to take time to deliberately refuse to focus on it to help me not to get mired down in the depressing negativity that is narcissism.
That being said, I don’t plan to quit anytime soon.
For one thing, I believe God wants me to write about this topic. He has given me the ability to write & also to understand quite a lot about narcissism. Not that I know everything on the topic of course- I don’t think anyone does- but I do know a lot. My personal experiences have taught me a great deal as well as things I have read.
For another thing, when someone thanks me for teaching them something they’ve been searching for an answer for, it is incredibly rewarding.
It’s also rewarding to let people know they aren’t alone. Since narcissistic abuse makes its victims feel so alone, learning they aren’t is a really big deal!
There is nothing more rewarding than knowing you helped to improve someone’s life. That alone makes it all worth while!
And, in all honesty, writing helps me as well. I’m finally validated! Seeing things in writing somehow helps me to realize that what happened to me was real, & it was terrible. It makes it more real than just remembering things, probably since I dissociated so much as a child. It also helps validate me when people believe me & offer support & understanding. That almost never happened until I started writing. So please forgive my selfish motive but I need this validation!
If you are considering writing about your experiences with narcissistic abuse, just know it won’t be easy, but it will be worth it!
Remember that if you opt to write about it, narcissism is a terribly negative topic. You will need to counter the negativity with positive. Indulge in things you enjoy often, such as a favorite hobby.
Do nice things for yourself to reward yourself after writing. Even a short blog post like this one can be surprisingly draining sometimes- reward yourself for putting forth the effort.
Make time where you flatly refuse to think about NPD or anything related to it. Deliberately focus on something else. Anything else.
If you opt to write a blog, write posts in advance & schedule them to publish without your assistance. That way, if you feel inspired, you can write several posts at once, or if you feel uninspired, you can take a break. Your blog will post anyway. I have a lot of posts ready to go- over 3 months into the future.
Don’t feel bad for taking frequent breaks. It’s good for your mental health!
If you choose to write a book, be forewarned- that is much more challenging than writing in a blog. Blog posts are usually short which makes them easier to handle. Writing a full book, however is different. Chances are, you’ll go on a bender & end up writing a lot in one sitting, probably often, which will exhaust you. You may plan to write for only half an hour but end up spending your afternoon in front of the computer. Trust me on this one- been there, done that! Writing a book about narcissism, especially if it is about your personal experiences, is an emotional roller coaster.
So if you are considering writing about narcissism, I strongly urge you to pray about it. Ask God if this is the route He wants you to take, how He wants you to write (blog, books, etc) & if it is, to enable you to do it. Ask for strength, courage & wisdom, because you will need all three & more.
Cynthia Bailey-Rug, Christian Author 