My publisher is offering 10% off my print books when you use code INFLUENCE10 at checkout until May 27, 2022.
Print versions of my books can be found at the link below..
My publisher is offering 10% off my print books when you use code INFLUENCE10 at checkout until May 27, 2022.
Print versions of my books can be found at the link below..
My print book publisher is offering 15% off all print books until April 8, 2022. To take advantage of this sale, enter code COOKBOOK15 at checkout.
My print books can be found at the link below…
My publisher turns 20 this year, & as a way to celebrate, they’re offering 20% off print book purchases until February 11, 2022. All you have to do to take advantage is use code 20FOR20 at checkout.
My books can be found at this link:
I’ve been toying with the idea of creating some mini books for a while now. Each book being much shorter than the average, & focusing only on one topic at a time. I thought it could be a good idea since narcissism is a pretty overwhelming topic. These books help readers by not inundating them with too much information per book which makes them easier to read & absorb the subject matter. Plus, being shorter books, people can get exactly the information they want at a cheaper price than buying a larger book.
Mini books also are much easier for me to write. It’s almost six years to the day after I survived carbon monoxide poisoning & my brain is still not in a really happy place. I can write obviously, but it’s a much greater struggle now than it once was. I think it’s time to make my life easier in general, including with writing.
I just published the first three, & they’re available at this link on my website: https://cynthiabaileyrug.com/home/books-for-sale/mini-books/
Currently, all are available in only ebook format, but I am considering making them available in print as well. It’s so hard to know what to do like this anymore! People have very definite feelings of print vs ebook format, & those who prefer one over the other change like the wind!
Anyway I hope you like the new ebooks. More will be coming in the future. As I mentioned recently, I’ll be getting rid of my free ebooks by the end of this month. I plan to add more information to them & charge a little for them. Not much, since they’ll still be rather short little ebooks.
Thank you to everyone for being supportive & wonderful! May God bless you! 💖💖
I just got a email from one of the publishers I use. They will be making some changes that will affect my free ebooks, which has gotten me to do some thinking….
I’ve been considering retiring all of them & republishing with the other publisher I use to gain more exposure. Due to the changes, I plan to do just this.
Since I need to redo the ebooks anyway, I’m going to add more to them & they’ll no longer be free. Probably I’ll only ask a little for them, like maybe $.99 since I don’t plan to add a lot to them.
While these books won’t be free, my website, this blog, my YouTube channel & podcasts all still will be. There is plenty of information on these sources. While I’m glad to share all of the information I can, I need some more balance. I need to start charging for some of it. Helping people is great & I love it, but it also doesn’t pay the bills either!
I’ll retire my free ebooks by January 31, 2021. In the meantime, you can find them at this link:
You can find all of the other links I’ve mentioned on my website at this link:
Thank you for understanding! God bless you!
My publisher is offering another sale on my print books. This one is good for 10% off all print products until November 13, 2020. Use code READ10 at checkout.
Here is the link where you can find my print books:
I have published my most recent book! It’s called, “When Love Hurts: Loving A Narcissist”. This one is about being romantically involved with a narcissist. It teaches the reader how to determine if his or her partner is a narcissist, about Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the best ways to cope with a narcissistic partner, how to help your children & more. I pray it will bless everyone who reads it.
Want to know something interesting? This book came to be because of a dream I had last spring. Strange, huh? Three ideas came to me in that one dream- a book about covert narcissists (which I wrote last year), another about narcissistic in-laws (I got a start on it & I think it will be my next book to publish) & this one about being romantically involved with narcissists. It was one more confirmation to me that dreams are important- we need to pay attention to them! You never know what God may show you in your dreams!
If you’re interested in this book, it is available in both print & ebook versions on my website at: www.CynthiaBaileyRug.com
Proverbs 29:25 “The fear of man brings a snare, But whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.” (NKJV)
I’ve often been asked, “Aren’t you afraid your parents or other relatives will learn what you write about?” In all honesty? To a degree, yes I am. Logically I know none of them could hurt me, but, there is still that little girl inside me who hasn’t healed entirely who is scared. Thankfully that little girl isn’t ruling my emotions. If she did, I wouldn’t be writing this blog post or the books I’ve written. I wouldn’t feel fulfilled because I wouldn’t be fulfilling my calling.
It can be very easy to be afraid of people, especially when raised by narcissistic parents. They are very good at instilling fear in their victims. Many adult children of narcissists live with serious anxiety issues. I would guess that is why so few discuss their experiences openly. It’s very sad, especially since there is such a dire need for open & frank discussion of narcissistic abuse to help raise awareness.
If you feel called to publicly discuss your experiences with a narcissist, it can be intimidating, worrying about “getting in trouble” with your parents or extended family. What will they do if they find out? Will your friends & maybe even relatives think you are “too negative,” “living in the past”, etc. & abandon you? What about the legal aspect- could the narcissist sue you for slander? Such things can cause a great deal of fear & anxiety, & understandably so. But please, don’t be discouraged by such things!
To start with, you can’t “get in trouble” with your parents or family anymore. You’re an adult! You don’t have to get another’s permission to do what you feel God wants you to do. You have the right to do what you want, to live your life according to what works for you. You also have the right to tell your story. It’s YOUR story, so it’s up to you to share it however you see fit.
If anyone brings up “Honor thy mother & father,” remind yourself that honoring doesn’t mean tolerating abuse. Research what it truly means to honor your parents. I wrote a free ebook regarding honoring abusive parents. It’s available on amazon at this link: https://www.amazon.com/Honor-Difficult-Parent-Cynthia-Bailey-Rug-ebook/dp/B00PR0BEV2/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1478979606&sr=1-1&keywords=cynthia+bailey-rug
And, what if people in your life criticize or even abandon you for speaking out? I won’t lie- it will hurt at first. But, in a way, it’s also a good thing when they abandon you. It’s much better to have people in your life who genuinely care about you & your mental health. People who don’t judge but offer love, encouragement & support are a true gem. Life is so much more pleasant with friends like that as opposed to the critics.
Regarding slander, that is simple- research the laws in your state, as I think they vary from state to state. Also, use fake names & protect the narcissist’s identity when discussing your story. Never mention the narcissist’s real name in your writing. You’re protecting yourself by doing that.
In spite of the fact discussing your experiences with narcissistic abuse can be scary, it also can be incredibly rewarding. When someone thanks you for helping them to understand that they aren’t crazy like their narcissist said, or your words helped to give them the courage to leave a narcissistic significant other, it doesn’t get any more rewarding. Knowing you have made a difference in someone’s life is a wonderful feeling. It also helps you, because suddenly all the awful things you have experienced have a purpose. Your pain counts for something! Feeling as if all those horrible, traumatic experiences had no purpose is one of the most depressing feelings in the world. Discussing your experiences dispels that feeling completely.
Discussing your experiences openly also help you to heal. There is something very healing in seeing your story in writing. Also healing is when you tell a story & someone says something like, “That is terrible! I’m sorry that happened to you!” That is very validating!
The good definitely outweighs the bad when it comes to sharing your story. If you are considering speaking out, then I would encourage you to pray about it. Be certain God wants you to do it, then ask Him to help you to do so. He will give you courage, wisdom & anything else you need to accomplish this calling. Then get ready for an adventure!
Recently I was involved in a discussion about how little information there is available for those with elderly narcissistic parents, including caring for them. It gave me an idea- write a book on the topic.
I have already started writing an outline & have some ideas. But, I’d like to hear from you, Dear Reader. I don’t want to miss anything on this topic. If there is any topic you’d like explored or if you have stories to include, please let me know. I won’t divulge your name to protect your privacy. You can comment on this post or email me privately at CynthiaBaileyRug@aol.com
Thank you! I look forward to hearing from you! x0xo
After a conversation with a dear friend in early July, she inspired me to write a new book. It is designed for a slightly different audience than usual. Normally I write for those of us who know at least some about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This book, however, is written for those who know something is wrong with a person in their life who is extremely selfish & manipulative, but they just aren’t sure what it is yet.
“It’s Not You, It’s Them: When People Are More Than Selfish” helps these people to understand Narcissistic Personality Disorder, deal with the behaviors if they opt to stay in a relationship with the narcissist, & ways they can help themselves heal.
I’ve learned so much about NPD in recent months & have felt such a strong desire to help victims of narcissistic abuse & raise awareness, I believe this book had to be written. Admittedly, I’ve never written a book so quickly before, but I believe it must be for a reason. I pray God is going to use it mightily.
If you’d like to check out the new book, the timing is good- my publisher is offering a sale on all print books. 15% off with free mail shipping until August 14. Simply use code AUGSHIP16 at checkout
Links are below..
My publisher is having another great sale on print books. 20% off if you buy two or more. Simply use code 2FORYOU at checkout. Sale ends August 7, 2016.
Find my books at:
This time, my publisher is offering 15% off all print books & free mail shipping until June 12. Simply use code COOKBOOK15 at checkout.
My books can be found at: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/cynthiabaileyrug
My publisher is offering free mail shipping or 50% off ground shipping until Friday. Use code APRSHIP50 at checkout.
My books are available at this link: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/cynthiabaileyrug
My publisher is having another sale. Been plenty of them lately!
This sale is for 20% off of all print books until April 3, 2016. Use code SHOWER20 at checkout (all caps- codes are case sensitive).
You can see my author’s spotlight at: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/cynthiabaileyrug
Save $5 on every $25 or more print book order from my publisher. Use code SAVE5 at checkout. Sale ends March 25.
Visit my online store at: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/cynthiabaileyrug
My print book & sometimes ebook publisher is offering a really good sale but it’s today only. All print books are 25% off, ebooks 5% off! Use code AMAZING16 at checkout!
You can see my books for sale & free ebooks at this link: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/cynthiabaileyrug
Since I began writing about narcissism, surviving narcissistic abuse & the awful effects on its victims, some people have told me I need to focus on writing about lighter, more pleasant topics. It’s too negative. People need to think about positive things, not just the negative. I only write about what I do because I’m wallowing in the past. I need to forget it & move on.
The truth is, I do agree with the fact that people need to focus on positive things, not just the negative. That is all I agree with in the above statements however.
In all honesty, writing about narcissism isn’t easy. I’m often learning something new, & it can be depressing just how pervasive narcissism & narcissistic abuse are. I get tired of it all. It’s a very emotionally draining topic & can be triggering for my C-PTSD. I have to take time to deliberately refuse to focus on it to help me not to get mired down in the depressing negativity that is narcissism.
That being said, I don’t plan to quit anytime soon.
For one thing, I believe God wants me to write about this topic. He has given me the ability to write & also to understand quite a lot about narcissism. Not that I know everything on the topic of course- I don’t think anyone does- but I do know a lot. My personal experiences have taught me a great deal as well as things I have read.
For another thing, when someone thanks me for teaching them something they’ve been searching for an answer for, it is incredibly rewarding.
It’s also rewarding to let people know they aren’t alone. Since narcissistic abuse makes its victims feel so alone, learning they aren’t is a really big deal!
There is nothing more rewarding than knowing you helped to improve someone’s life. That alone makes it all worth while!
And, in all honesty, writing helps me as well. I’m finally validated! Seeing things in writing somehow helps me to realize that what happened to me was real, & it was terrible. It makes it more real than just remembering things, probably since I dissociated so much as a child. It also helps validate me when people believe me & offer support & understanding. That almost never happened until I started writing. So please forgive my selfish motive but I need this validation!
If you are considering writing about your experiences with narcissistic abuse, just know it won’t be easy, but it will be worth it!
Remember that if you opt to write about it, narcissism is a terribly negative topic. You will need to counter the negativity with positive. Indulge in things you enjoy often, such as a favorite hobby.
Do nice things for yourself to reward yourself after writing. Even a short blog post like this one can be surprisingly draining sometimes- reward yourself for putting forth the effort.
Make time where you flatly refuse to think about NPD or anything related to it. Deliberately focus on something else. Anything else.
If you opt to write a blog, write posts in advance & schedule them to publish without your assistance. That way, if you feel inspired, you can write several posts at once, or if you feel uninspired, you can take a break. Your blog will post anyway. I have a lot of posts ready to go- over 3 months into the future.
Don’t feel bad for taking frequent breaks. It’s good for your mental health!
If you choose to write a book, be forewarned- that is much more challenging than writing in a blog. Blog posts are usually short which makes them easier to handle. Writing a full book, however is different. Chances are, you’ll go on a bender & end up writing a lot in one sitting, probably often, which will exhaust you. You may plan to write for only half an hour but end up spending your afternoon in front of the computer. Trust me on this one- been there, done that! Writing a book about narcissism, especially if it is about your personal experiences, is an emotional roller coaster.
So if you are considering writing about narcissism, I strongly urge you to pray about it. Ask God if this is the route He wants you to take, how He wants you to write (blog, books, etc) & if it is, to enable you to do it. Ask for strength, courage & wisdom, because you will need all three & more.
Lately, I’ve been thinking. (Scary huh?? lol)
I really would like to be able to expand the topics I write about. In all honesty, I’m tired of thinking so much about narcissism. Not that I want to quit writing about it entirely of course- I’d just like to talk about other things sometimes too. Be a bit more diverse
I’ve asked God to guide my writing. I ask God to show me what to write about (admittedly, probably not as often as I should..) which is where my blog & book subject matters come from. I’m going to be praying more about this topic though & would appreciate your prayers as well. I’m sure this urge to cover other topics isn’t only me- it’s God guiding me, probably preparing me for something else that is on its way.
I’ve started a little.. I’ve decided once my current book on recovering from narcissistic abuse is done, my next book project will be finishing the fiction book I started a few years ago. That book is maybe one third done..it’s time to finish it.
I also added some information about my experiences with carbon monoxide poisoning on my website. I’ve read a lot about it since I went through it last February, & what has struck me as truly sad is how many others who have been through it feel so isolated. People don’t seem to grasp just how serious & horrible it is to live with the disruptive symptoms. Writing about it is my attempt to help these people feel less alone, & less crazy. It also seems to have helped me a little to write out my experiences. (Bonus for me!) If you know someone who has suffered through carbon monoxide poisoning or you would care to read it, then click this link: http://cynthiabaileyrug.com/Carbon-Monoxide-Poisoning.php
Maybe I could write some about natural/herbal things. I know many people associate such things with casting spells & such, but I don’t. I believe God created herbs & plants with the properties they have for a reason & for our use. Why shouldn’t we benefit from them? I love herbal remedies & beauty recipes. I’d love to share what I know as well as learn from others.
If there are other topics you would like me to write about, I’m open to suggestions. I may not use them, it will depend on what I believe God wants me to do, so please don’t be offended if I don’t write about what you suggest. Anyway feel free to leave your suggestions in the comments of this post, or email me at: CynthiaBaileyRug@aol.com I look forward to hearing from you! 🙂
I thought I would let you know what’s happening on the book front with me..
I now have two books I’m working on as I can. Unfortunately I’m still recovering from the carbon monoxide poisoning & the concussion that came with it, so writing is a challenge for me at the moment. (as if writing with C-PTSD isn’t enough of a challenge sometimes..lol) But, I’m trying to do a little as often as I can.
My one book is a fictional story I started over a year ago. I had it about halfway done when the external hard drive it was on crashed, taking my book with it. (Tears were shed, let me tell ya!) I decided to start working on it again, trying to recreate what was lost. It was inspired by the movie “Gaslight”- the movie from which the term gaslighting was coined. It takes place here in Maryland in the late 1800’s. It’s about a young widow who, after her mourning period, is caught up in a whirlwind romance with a man who in truth is only after her money. In order to have full access to it, he decides to drive his pretty young wife insane. He enlists the help of the young maid he’s having an affair with by telling her that his wife is really his sister, & he’s trying to help her show symptoms of her “illness” since she usually hides them from the doctor. She reluctantly agrees. As they are in the process of driving this woman insane, the wife & maid end up learning the truth, & decide to turn the tables on him, driving him insane instead.
My other book is going to be about recovering from narcissistic abuse. I’ve read so much about it, but there are plenty of things I haven’t read- I had to experience them & learn about them firsthand instead. For example, if you read about C-PTSD (very common with survivors or narcissistic abuse), it says many people experience nightmares. It’s often implied that the nightmares are about re-experiencing the traumatic events. I have learned that although that happens, it’s more rare, & nightmares are often things that are very upsetting yet symbolic of past trauma instead.
So anyway, these two are my current projects. I’m not sure when they’ll be released. Honestly, I don’t even feel comfortable setting a goal on that right now, not until I recover more. I’ll be sure to share when they will be released as the day comes closer though.
I was talking with my husband the other night about my work. I mentioned how other teachings on narcissism I read sometimes just don’t sit well with me even if I normally agree 100% with the author’s thoughts, & how I do my best to be sure what I say can be backed up in the Bible. One thing came to mind during this conversation that has been in the back of my mind for years now,since before I started writing, in fact..
I was watching Joyce Meyer preaching on TV one day. She said she’d been asking God for more & more people to reach & to be able to help. In response to her prayer, God told her that as many people as she can help, she can also hurt, so be careful. i thought this is incredibly wise!
So many people find someone whose teachings or preaching they like. They relate to much of what that person has to say, & they almost blindly follow anything that person says. This is NOT wise to do, however! Just because you identify with this person’s preaching or teaching, doesn’t mean this person is always right! All human beings make a mistake sometimes!
I do my level best in my blog, on my website, in my books & anything I write to make sure what I say can be verified by the Bible. Yet, even so, I’m human. I’m sure I’ve made mistakes sometimes & will continue to make mistakes. I just try my best to keep those mistakes to a minimum.
I have been blessed with some wonderful, caring, intelligent, empathetic fans who have sent me wonderful messages of support & thanking me for all I write. It’s amazing! I love those messages. But, I also want you to be sure that if you follow my writing, don’t do so blindly! If something doesn’t sound right to you, look it up. Pray about it. Like I said, I do my best not to make mistakes, but sometimes I just might make them anyway! & if you find something I’ve written is wrong, feel free to let me know your thoughts. I am very aware of what Joyce Meyer has said, that as many people as I can help, I can also hurt, & hurting people is the absolute last thing I want to do.
Good morning, Dear Readers!
I have decided on my next book’s topic. What it’s like to recover from narcissistic abuse. The weird things you may not accociate with it such as odd nightmares as well as details about living with C-PTSD, low self-esteem, constant self doubt & anything else I can think of to add to the book.
If there is any topic you’d like added to this book, please feel free to suggest it. I’m open to suggestions! You can either email me at CynthiaBaileyRug@aol.com, or you can contact me via this form:
Good afternoon, Dear Readers!
I just wanted to let you know I received my proof copy of my book today. It looks great but I’ll inspect it closer tonight. Barring any unforseen issues, I’ll approve it tomorrow, & it’ll be available not only on my website as it is now, but also on amazon, B&N, & other online book sellers within about a month.
Also, thank you everyone for the prayers. My father is now home from the hospital.
I am VERY happy to announce that my latest book, “It’s All About ME! The Facts About Maternal Narcissism” is finished!!!!!
Print version is available here..(available for sale on this site only since I haven’t gotten the proof to approve yet. Once that’s approved within the next week or so, it’ll be on Amazon, B&N, etc)
Here’s the ebook version…(currently only on publisher’s site only, but once approved within a week or so, it will be in the ibook store, B&N, etc.)
And now, I’m taking a well earned break.
This was a very challenging book to write. God had His hand in it the whole time, which is the only reason I was able to write it. He kept showing me things that I needed to include. Some things I admit, I thought “You’re kidding right?” Then something would happen & I realized that yes, this needs to be in the book too. It was a fascinating experience for sure, but emotionally difficult, hence the break.
I plan to focus for a while on this blog as well as building up my forum. If you haven’t seen it yet, come by & check it out at:
At the forum, I have several different categories where you can post. Not only about narcissistic mothers & the damage they cause, but more positive categories too, such as pets, hobbies & the Christian life. After all, no one can focus on the abuse they endured or even their emotional healing 24/7. Everyone needs a break sometimes. I hope to see you there.
Also, I still would like to create a free ebook compiled of stories from those who have been through abuse, & have survived with God’s help. I only have a couple of stories so far. Would you considering writing yours? You can do so anonymously if you like- just use fake names. Your story can encourage others, no matter what you have been through, or where you are in your healing process. For more details, please check out the link below. I hope to hear from you soon! ❤