I have a major pet peeve that has developed as I’ve gotten older. When people blindly accept whatever they are told as truth. Even worse is when they repeat it to others. It simply makes no sense to believe everything you see or hear! It’s just not wise! The Bible states in Matthew 10:16 “I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. Be as wary as serpents and harmless as doves.” (TLB) I firmly believe that is a very smart way to live your life, wary as serpents & harmless as doves.
This may be the most bothersome to me in the perspective of people believing what narcissists tell them. So many blindly accept anything their narcissist says as if it’s written in stone, especially their lies about their victims. When I was growing up, my mother’s friends liked me. In my late teens when my mother got more & more abusive, suddenly, they no longer liked me. In fact, they wouldn’t even make eye contact with me. It wasn’t hard to figure out she was lying to them like she did to everyone else about me. It really made me wonder two things… 1- What on Earth did she tell these people about me?! 2- They knew me pretty well.. why on Earth did they believe her lies?!
I still wonder these same things today about anyone who blindly believes things they are told about other people & spread such stories.
Rather than doing those things, there are some things you really should consider…
When someone accuses another of bad behavior, remember that Revelations 12:10 says Satan is “the accuser of the brethren.” It’s possible that the person being accused didn’t even do what you’re being told that person did. The accuser simply could be doing Satan’s work by attempting to make this person look bad or ruin that person’s friendships.
Ask yourself not only if this person really did something, but if they indeed did the act, why would they do it. Look at my situation as an example. I have no contact with my elderly, widowed mother. That looks pretty bad. However, if you know my reasons, it makes sense. There is always more than one side to every story. Sometimes someone’s actions that look bad actually have a very good reason behind them.
If you are told something bad about another person, try taking it as a sign you need to pray for that person. Even if you don’t know exactly what to pray for, you can ask God to meet that person’s needs, save them if they aren’t saved, & let His will be done in the person’s life.
The Bible also clearly speaks against gossip & slander, so don’t participate it. The following Scriptures also could be an excellent reminder to a person who wants to talk badly about another person.:
- Jeremiah 9:8 “Their tongue is a deadly arrow; it speaks deceitfully; with his mouth each speaks peace to his neighbor, but in his heart he plans an ambush for him.” (ESV)
- Proverbs 11:13 “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.” (NIV)
- 2 Corinthians 12:20 “For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.” (NIV)
- Romans 16:17-18 “17 I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. 18 For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive.” (ESV)