My publisher is offering 10% off my print books until August 5, 2022 when you use code MAKER10 at checkout.
My books can be found at the link below..
My publisher is offering 10% off my print books until August 5, 2022 when you use code MAKER10 at checkout.
My books can be found at the link below..
Cognitive dissonance is a term used to describe the very uncomfortable feeling of having two conflicting beliefs. As an example, let’s say you believe that your mother was a caring, loving mother & you also believe that any problems in that relationship are completely your fault. Then one day you learn that she is a covert narcissist. In such a situation, facing the truth feels awful. You grew up believing this one thing & were comfortable with it, even if it was painful thinking you were the problem in the relationship. Learning this isn’t true creates anxiety & confusion about what is really true.
In speaking with a follower of my work one day on the topic of cognitive dysfunction, she mentioned that she believes it can be demonic. At first, this concept sounds very far fetched, I realize, but the more we spoke, the more it made sense.
As Kavya said, when faced with the truth, many people’s core beliefs come back & they believe the lies instead. This could be evidence of demons at work. This also could be people operating in the spirit of fear, because they’re afraid to step out of their comfort zone of what is familiar. So afraid, in fact, they are content to stay with what’s familiar even when it’s wrong & toxic. That spirit of fear comes in & keeps them in toxic situations.
Another good point she made is evil is against rational thinking. These spirits want to stunt growth. They want to keep people miserable & down. So when people lack good rational thought skills, there can be a demonic influence.
Evil is also against truth. They worked through the people in Jesus’ time on earth to hide the knowledge of who He was & what He could do. That hasn’t changed today. They instill doubt in people or find ways to make the Gospel message sound impossible. They also work to hide the truth about other things. Creating cognitive dissonance easily could be a part of that. They make people so despondent that they return to their original beliefs, in spite of how obviously wrong they were & how miserable they were while functioning in those beliefs.
Even good, caring people can end up supporting narcissists because they lack critical thinking skills. They don’t recognize that there is evil influencing them. They go with their feelings rather than facing the evidence in front of them, because the truth is making them so incredibly uncomfortable. Doing this opens the door for evil to work in their minds & lives. After all, who wants to face the fact that someone they are close to or even love is an abusive monster? No one! Doing that is extremely hard & painful! Some people lack the strength & courage to face painful truths, so instead, they take the easy way out. They continue in their denial out of fear of facing that pain. I believe that fear can open a door for evil to enter their hearts, because sometimes in this situation, even a good person can end up so focused on protecting their denial that they mistreat & abuse a victim.
If you experience cognitive dissonance like many victims of narcissistic abuse do, then please keep this in mind. I don’t think it is always demonic, but it has that potential to be. Protect yourself, & face the truth, even when it’s hard.
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After surviving narcissistic abuse at the hands of parents, when victims turn to God, many struggle with feeling that God truly loves them. It’s not that they think God is a liar or they doubt what the Bible says. Many have strong faith & believe every word in the Bible to be the word of God. They also believe that God loves & forgives other people. Yet, they struggle believing this is true for them. This is because of the narcissistic abuse they endured.
Narcissistic abuse at any age by any person is a terrible thing, but it seems to have the most profound effect on those who grew up with narcissistic parents. Children look to their parents to be their everything – their source of love, nurturing, food, shelter & more. Basically parents are like a god to children. When that “god” is abusive, it distorts a person’s reality terribly. One of those ways is making them believe that authority figures aren’t trustworthy, even God.
Not to mention, children’s brains aren’t fully developed. This means they process things differently than adults do. Adults realize that someone being abusive towards them doesn’t mean something is wrong with them. It means something is wrong with the abusive person. Children don’t realize that. They think when someone abuses them, in particular a parent, that means something must be wrong with them to make that parent treat them badly. This is a huge blow to one’s self esteem, & makes them believe they are unlovable.
When that child grows up & decides to turn their life over to God, that doesn’t mean their dysfunction vanishes. That dysfunction is still a part of their life, & it will show up in their relationship with God.
Although that adult child may truly love God, chances are excellent that he or she doesn’t completely trust God. God being a father figure means that people relate to Him as they did their earthly father. That relationship automatically starts out mirroring the relationship a person has with their earthly father, good or bad. This is a wonderful thing for those with great relationships with their father. It’s a terrible thing for those with dysfunctional or even abusive relationships with their father. They may love God, but fail to trust Him completely, exactly as they did their earthly father.
People also relate to God as a child relates to a parent in many ways. The abused child as an adult will relate to God as they did when they related to their parents when they were children. If they felt that they were unlovable as children, they will struggle to believe God loves them. After all, if a person’s own parents didn’t love them, how could anyone else, including God, right? WRONG!
Although it can be extremely hard to believe for a child of narcissistic parents, God does love you & He also forgives you for everything! It seems impossible, but it’s true.
If you are struggling in this area, the best thing I know to tell you to do is to get to know God even better. I don’t care if you’ve been a Christian for 50 years, do it anyway! Spend time in prayer, ask Him to talk to you then listen to what He says, read the Bible, read books, listen to Christian music.. whatever helps you feel closer to your Heavenly Father, do it. The more you get to know Him, the more you will realize He truly does love you & forgive you. Psalm 27:10 is one of my favorite Bible verses, & is an excellent one to remember. It says that although my parents forsake me, God will adopt me. Isn’t that amazing?! Clearly He loves you so much more than you realize, & His love for you will never change!
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I love watching the old public tv show, “The Joy Of Painting” with Bob Ross. He was an incredibly talented painter, & there is something so calming about watching him create his beautiful works of art. I also especially enjoy the bits of wisdom he shared through each episode. Not only bits of wisdom about painting, but about life in general.
I was watching his show recently & he was painting a beautiful mountain scene in the fall. During the course of painting, Mr. Ross said some interesting things.
The first thing he mentioned was as he was painting a lake. To create dimension, he used dark & light colors together. He said something like, “Don’t conceal all your dark areas or the painting will become flat.” Immediately it made me think of the overly positive people of the world. I don’t mean the average person who tries to be positive, but the ones who refuse to say anything negative or see anything but the good in people. When people don’t admit that sometimes things are less than perfect & happy, they often are much the same way- flat. They express only one mood- happy. Honestly, I find this incredibly annoying to be around. Not that I want to be around people who are always miserable either. Somewhere in the middle is so much more comfortable & I think also healthy. People who are real & honest are the most interesting people, in my opinion anyway, probably because they have many different aspects to their personalities & different moods. They’re also more comfortable to be around, because you know they won’t judge you if you are anything less than completely positive & happy. Many overly positive people also can come across very invalidating & shaming. For example, if you’re laid up with a broken leg, it’s ok to be upset about that. The unhealthy, overly positive type of person will say something like you should be glad it happened because now you have the time off to catch up on whatever hobbies you enjoy. That comment can make you feel badly for being upset that you are in a miserable situation, even though you have every right to be upset.
Another interesting thing he mentioned was that you need darkness to show the light. How true is that! If you think of it in the natural realm, if you light up an average light bulb, it will look very different in the dark than it will on a sunny day. In the dark, even a very dim bulb can look extremely bright. Yet, in the sunlight, even the brightest bulb will appear pretty dim. The contrast of dark & light always makes light appear brighter.
The same things happen with good & bad things in life. The bad, or darker, things that happen make you appreciate the good, or lighter, things. If you have only good things happen, you can count on not appreciating anything good that happens to you simply because that is the norm for you. There is nothing to compare your experiences to that will make them appear worth appreciating. If there is a balance of both good & bad things, however, the bad things truly will make you appreciate the good things. The good things will look so much better in contrast to the bad, just like that dim light bulb will look especially bright in a very dark room.
It was kinda strange, realizing these things from watching a man paint a pretty landscape, but I hope you found them interesting like I did. And, his show can be found on YouTube & I think it was Pluto TV where I found it. Very worth checking out if you have the chance!
No matter how deep a person’s faith, we all make mistakes sometimes. But, when a person’s actions don’t match their proclamation of faith more than they do match, it can be very hard to believe they are truly Christians. In praying about this topic, God showed me some very interesting things.
A person truly can be born again, yet not act the part sometimes. They can trust in the Gospel message, yet not trust that God wants to help them in their day to day life.
This can happen with someone who has serious health issues. I once belonged to a traumatic brain injury support group online. I wasn’t in the group long, because I noticed many members were intensely selfish, even ones who claimed to be Christians. They weren’t obviously out to use & abuse other people like narcissists are, but clearly if something wasn’t about them, they weren’t interested.
Christians also may not behave like Christians if they have a distrust of parent figures. When a person was raised by at least one narcissistic parent, they most likely have a deep fear of all parental figures. When you grew up with parents who were not only unsafe, but blatantly cruel & had no concern for your own needs, you will not trust God to be the loving father He claims to be in the Bible.
Both of these issues can make even a Christian behave badly, & they both boil down to fear.
Whether someone is sick, handicapped or raised by abusive parents, their core issue with God is they don’t trust Him. When a person has serious health problems, they become self absorbed. They suddenly have to consider their needs often & have to rely on other people to meet certain needs for the first time. It can be very easy to become afraid of these needs not being met.
Or, they may feel that their earthly mother or father didn’t care about their needs, so why would anyone, even their Heavenly Father? After all, He’s a parent & parents are selfish & don’t care about their children. They fear others not being there for them or loving them, & often don’t even realize they feel this way.
When not confronted, fear can open the door for the spirit of fear. 2 Timothy 1:7 in the Amplified Bible states, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].” Considering this verse gave me some insight into why some professing Christians don’t act like Christians. They function with a spirit of fear.
I noticed after surviving carbon monoxide poisoning I was heading in this direction. I had no idea what to expect from my health, thanks to the doctors giving me no information. I also realized quickly that I had brain damage. I had to learn quickly what was happening. The more I learned, the more afraid I got. The more afraid I got, the more selfish I got & the more afraid I got & the cycle continued. Thankfully joining the TBI support group I mentioned previously made me realize how I felt, & how that was not how I wanted to be. I spent more time in prayer, got closer to God & changed my ways. I also learned to accept & work with my health issues.
Maybe you know someone in a similar position. Someone operating with a spirit of fear can be incredibly painful to deal with, I know, but before you end the relationship, please consider what I have said. Talk to the person. Maybe they will see the problem & make appropriate changes. If not, they may be too consumed with this spirit of fear. Pray for them, asking God to free them from this spirit. Reassure the person you love them & are there for them. Granted, some people are too comfortable in their dysfunction to want change. Some folks are also narcissists who refuse to change. But, the average Christian person who is gripped by fear may respond very well. Give it a try! You can help them & also your relationship with that person.
I wish I could take credit for this post, but I can’t. It’s from the blog, Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism. I highly recommend following it! It’s very informative & everything is backed up by Scripture.
That being said, please read this post. If you are debating confronting the narcissist in your life, then you especially need to read it!
Narcissists with any knowledge of the Bible whatsoever, no matter how minimal, often portray themselves as all knowing on the topic. They use their so called wisdom to help them abuse their victims. One way they do this is by convincing their victims that if they are truly Christians, they will forgive & forget anything the abuser says & does to them. They may mention how “real” Christians always turn the other cheek. They refer to Matthew 5:38-39 to prove their point. In the English Standard Version, these verses say, “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ 39 But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” As usual, they take this completely out of context. When these verses are said alone, without reading the rest of the chapter or at the very least, the surrounding verses, they do sound like you should simply forgive & forget, & tolerate abuse. Nothing could be further from the truth, however!
Matthew 7:6 also in the English Standard Version says, “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.” There are a couple of interesting points about this Scripture . First, dogs & pigs are used to represent those who detest holy, sacred things in the Bible. Second, giving these unholy ones things that are valuable & holy means they will turn on you & attack you.
Doesn’t this sound like a narcissist when you forgive & forget? When you forgive & forget, they don’t change their ways. If anything, they get worse. They know they can do whatever they like without having to face any consequences.
If a narcissist tells you that you need to forgive & forget or else you’re not a good Christian (whatever that means to them), then please remember this! They are only saying such things to try to force you to tolerate their abuse. It’s not true! There is absolutely nothing good, holy or Godly about tolerating abuse, period!
What is good, holy & Godly is exercising wisdom when you must deal with narcissists. Have & enforce good, healthy boundaries. No, the narcissist won’t like that, but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong or bad or whatever else they say you are. By limiting or even eliminating their chance to abuse you, you are not only protecting yourself, but you’re also helping them. They need to know there are consequences for their behavior, & they can’t always treat people any old way they want to & get away with that forever. Boundaries also remove the opportunity for the narcissist to sin. That is always a good thing!
It also is good, holy & Godly to remember what the narcissist has done. Knowledge truly is power. Whether you allow the narcissist in your life or cast them out of it, never forget what they have done! Remembering it keeps you on guard against them & other people who behave the same way. It also helps you to spot toxic people easily, so you won’t end up in other abusive relationships. You also have knowledge that can help someone who doesn’t have that same knowledge. You can give them such a gift by sharing that knowledge with them.
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I read this yesterday & thought it was worth sharing with you, Dear Readers. I hope you enjoy it! It’s the story of an atheist who turned to God after a near death experience. It is a long read, but worth every moment. I hope you enjoy it!
When you’re healing from abuse, many people act like you should get to the point that nothing about what your abuser did bothers you in the slightest. They say that’s a sign of healing. I say that is completely wrong.
To start with, how can any human being not be bothered in the slighted by any life altering event, whether the event is good or bad? Anything that drastically affects a person is going to affect them forever to some degree. In my experience I have found the best I can hope for regarding such life altering & traumatic things is to get to the point where remembering them feels much like remembering a bad dream. It feels somewhat upsetting but not devastating. One example is this: Some of you who have read my work for a while may remember when I nearly died from carbon monoxide poisoning in 2015. That was a terrifying event that has left me with life altering physical & mental struggles. Yet, it also brought me some really good changes in my personality as a result of the brain damage & even drew me closer to God. As grateful as I am for those positive changes, that doesn’t negate the fact that thinking about how close to death I came that day still shakes me up to some degree even all these years later. I believe most people are similar to me in this feeling like they’re remembering a bad dream is as good as it gets for healing from the most extreme traumas & situations.
To be totally unaffected by abuse also makes abuse not so bad. It minimizes it & even normalizes it. After all, when someone does something normal, you don’t think twice about it or feel any sort of emotions connected to that normal thing. Do you feel any emotion when your friend says they bought a loaf of bread while at the grocery store? No, because that is normal. If a person feels that way same way about abuse, then abuse becomes just as acceptable as buying a loaf of bread.
There should always be anger about abuse! It’s called righteous indignation & is mentioned in the Bible.
Righteous indignation means to be angry about injustice, malice & even abuse. It is anger felt about something that offends your morals. Consider the story of Jesus overturning the tables of the moneychangers in the temple in Matthew 21:12-13. He was angry that the temple was no longer a house of prayer but a den of robbers thanks to the behavior of these people. That anger was hardly sinful! It was correct! It motivated Jesus to get their attention & make changes. And, he did so without hurting anyone!
When feeling angry, consider your anger. Most likely, you aren’t only angry at your abuser for hurting you, but at the wrongness & unfairness of the abuse. There is nothing wrong with that anger at all! You can use that anger to motivate you to make positive changes in your life, such as end the relationship with the abuser. You can use it to raise awareness of what you have endured. This righteous indignation is a very good thing provided you use it constructively rather than destructively.
If you have been in this situation & feel badly for still feeling some degree of anger about the abuse you have endured, please consider what I have said. It is good to release the anger at the perpetrator as you are able to do so. Carrying around anger & unforgiveness is unhealthy in the long term. However, maintaining that righteous indignation about the painful & abusive acts committed on you is perfectly normal & yes, even Godly. Don’t let other people convince you otherwise!
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When most people hear the word love, they think of how they feel around someone they love dearly. Whether that person is a love interest, parent, child, other relative or friend, the person thinking of them will feel warm, affectionate, caring feelings. But, love isn’t always about those nice feelings.
Sometimes, love feels nothing like the nice feelings I described earlier. Sometimes love is not enabling behavior the other person enjoys but is unhealthy. Sometimes love is not allowing the other person to use you. Sometimes love involves arguments. Sometimes, love even involves ending relationships. Unfortunately, many people don’t realize these things, & think love is only about the good feelings, giving in, & even tolerating abuse.
The last few months of my father’s life, I learned that is exactly what my family thought. They clearly thought I hated him & my mother because I hadn’t spoken to them for several months at that time. They obviously believed that I was living my life with no thought of them whatsoever.
What my family didn’t know & never would believe anyway is no contact with my parents was incredibly hard on me. Reaching the decision to end those relationships was gut wrenching. I took a lot of time to consider it, & said a lot of prayers. I prayed daily for wisdom for probably a couple of years before going no contact with them, & after, I prayed daily for God to take care of them & to save them.
In John 15:17 in the Amplified translation, the Bible states, “This [is what] I command you: that you love and unselfishly seek the best for one another.” There is no mention in there about the warm, fuzzy feelings, because sometimes, there simply aren’t any. Consider what I just told you about my situation with my parents. There wasn’t a single warm fuzzy feeling for them for many years, & many less at the end of their lives. But, that didn’t mean I didn’t love them. The difference is I loved them God’s way, by doing what it says in John 15:17, seeking the best for them. It was incredibly hard severing ties with them, but I knew in my heart it was necessary for my mental health & for them. And, as it turns out, my father finally turned to God at the very end of his life because I wouldn’t go see him. I’m not sure if my mother’s motivations were the same or not, but she also turned to God at the very end of her life. When you love people as God wants, it’s not always easy but it is for the best.
If you have been told that you aren’t loving abusive people right because you have started to set boundaries or even gone no contact, or even if not but you feel like you’re being unloving for such things, this post is for you today. You need to know that there is nothing good or Godly about letting people use & abuse you. In fact, it goes against God’s wishes!
Remember, if you truly love someone, you may not feel all the warm, fuzzy feelings for them. Sometimes love is best done from a distance, & praying quietly behind the scenes. And sometimes those prayers include saying things like, “Father God, I’m sorry my heart isn’t in this. I’m only praying for her because I know You want me to!” If that is all you can manage to do, there is nothing wrong with that! God truly honors those prayers, the ones you’re only praying because you know He wants you to pray. He applauds your effort & obedience while also dealing with that other person in ways you may not know about.
Often people who are very forgiveness centered seem to think that to forgive someone means that whatever they did to you no longer triggers any negative feelings. You will be completely immune to any upset on that topic. For example, if your narcissistic mother constantly told you that you were fat, & someone else calls you fat, if you have truly forgiven your mother, some people think that means that this other person’s words won’t bother you in the slightest.
I really don’t believe that is true. You can forgive someone yet still be angered by certain behaviors.
Forgiving someone doesn’t always mean you have forgiven & forgotten what they did, & everything is now unicorns & rainbows. Forgiveness can mean that you release any expectations on them of apologizing & trying to make it up to you for wronging you. While doing this is a good thing, it doesn’t automatically release the anger or hurt you feel that their actions caused.
Even if you have managed to release all anger & hurt you feel at the person who has hurt or even abused you, their actions still can be very upsetting. Let’s say for example you were robbed at knifepoint. You have recovered from any physical injuries & have forgiven the robber. Maybe you even learned he was out of work at the time & trying to get money to feed his starving children, so you felt some compassion for him with his plight. Do you really think that all of this would make you ok with anyone robbing anyone at knifepoint? No! It definitely wouldn’t, because you know this behavior is wrong, no matter what the story behind it is. You also know how it feels to be in that position, the terror & anger it stirs up in you, & wouldn’t wish that on anyone. If you were in this situation & heard of someone else being through what you have, you naturally would be upset, no matter how much or little anger you feel towards the person who hurt you.
Honestly, I think it is not only normal to be upset by reminders but healthy.
Not being bothered by reminders of your trauma would mean you are desensitized to it. How is being desensitized to trauma good? It doesn’t help you, & may in fact hurt you. If you’re numb to the trauma you experienced, that probably means that you have ignored it for a very long time rather than process it. That is not even close to mentally healthy!
Being desensitized to trauma doesn’t help others who have experienced trauma either. If you think what they say was a traumatic experience wasn’t a big deal, & you tell them that, it will instill shame in them. They will become ashamed of being so affected by something so “trivial”. They will wonder what is wrong with them, why they were so traumatized by something that other people wouldn’t be bothered by. They could begin to shut down & ignore their pain rather than deal with it. Doing this could lead to a plethora of problems such as physical problems like high blood pressure, heart problems or digestive disorders. It also could make them turn to substance abuse, shopping addiction or promiscuity rather than face the fact that they are hurting.
Dear Reader, please know that no matter how much you have forgiven your abuser, things that they have done will continue to upset & even anger you, & that is totally normal! In fact, let the emotions motivate you! Become an advocate against the type of abuse or trauma you experienced. Talk about it, so people know that these things are wrong. If you feel bold, write a blog or a book. See what you can to do get laws changed so other abusers like yours will go to jail. Good truly can come from those feelings, & remember, they aren’t proof that you are unforgiving or bitter. Far from it. They prove you’re a person with a wise & compassionate heart.
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Recently, I thought of a conversation my husband & I had a long time back. I told him how my dear friend & one of my aunts had similar bouts with cancer. They both suffered with it I think a total of 5 times each, & each time, when it went to their brain is when they died a fairly short time after.
Both my friend & aunt handled their similar situations very differently.
My friend was always a very loving & compassionate lady with a deep faith in God, but she those traits became even more pronounced as her health became frailer. A few months before she died, she mentioned via an email how Jesus carried her through it all & how grateful she was for everything in her life. She truly was an inspiration! She was also always happy to talk to me & encourage me no matter what was happening in her own life.
My aunt, however, was a different story.
While she said she was a Christian, I have doubts. During one conversation,, she mentioned how no one should be so “arrogant” as to assume God only allows certain people into Heaven & not every single person, no matter their personal beliefs. She also was extremely judgmental. If someone didn’t have cancer, according to her, they had no real problems & she didn’t want to hear them whine. Several times, she was very critical & invalidating to me of my problems, whether they were serious or trivial.
For the record, these changes happened in both of them well before any diagnosis of the cancer in their brains.
Although both ladies have been gone for several years, I still remember very well how each woman made me feel. My friend made me feel very loved & like time spent with me was valuable to her. My aunt? Not even close to the same. She made me feel as if all I did was whine about petty problems & was too stupid to recognize the only problem of the world was cancer.
This got me thinking about how people should make others they talk with feel. No functional person wants to cause other people to feel unloved, unheard, invalidated or other awful things. Yet, this happens every day. With or without intention, people say & do things that make others feel unloved, unheard & more. Following are some things I learned from my dear friend that I think are extremely important.
When spending time with someone, it is so important that they know you are present. What I mean is don’t listen to them talk while scrolling through your phone, looking at the television or the clock. Make eye contact. Respond to things they say. Show genuine empathy & care if they are telling you about a problem.
If someone is talking, don’t try to make the conversation all about you. Even if you understand what they feel or have been in an identical situation, it’s not always necessary to say that.
If someone is telling you about a problem in their life, even if you don’t understand why they’re upset, don’t be an unfeeling jerk by shaming them for their feelings. Ask if you can help somehow. Say things like, “I’m sorry to hear that!” or, “That is so unfair!”
Don’t give unasked for advice either. Many times when people confide in others, they simply want to vent. They will ask for advice if they need it. If they don’t, it’s safe to assume they have a solution in mind, so why try to give them one? Wait for the person to ask before giving advice.
When a person leaves a conversation, they should feel as my friend always made me feel – loved & valued. Small actions like I mentioned can make that happen, so please remember to do them.
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2 Timothy 1:7 in the Amplified Bible says, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].” It can be so hard to remember that God has given us a healthy mind sometimes! Having lived with many symptoms of C-PTSD for as far back as I can remember then almost all since 2012, there have been more times than not that I have doubted that very Scripture. Clearly I’m not proud of that but it’s true. Waking up during panic & anxiety attacks, the way sometimes anxiety runs roughshod over logic & the crippling agoraphobia I lived with for well over 20 years can make that happen.
If you can relate, then you too may be controlled by a spirit of fear as I have been. There are ways you can identify if this is indeed the problem or not.
Do you have the urge to hide from everyone, even God? Fear can become a self made prison, creating the urge to avoid everyone. Most introverts are fine with plenty of alone time but even so, fear can make even the most die hard introvert spend too much time away from other people & become lonely. It also can make even the most devoted Christian pray less & less.
Is your faith becoming weak? If so, you may be living with a spirit of fear. Fear can create a hindrance for believing in what God has to say. It can make you think irrational thoughts such as all of those promises in the Bible aren’t for you, that God meant them for other people. It can make you doubt the call on your life to the point of not following through with it. It also can make you forget what you know the Bible says or what God has spoken to you.
Fear can consume your thoughts. When fear takes over, all you can think about is the issue that makes you afraid. You neglect relationships, doing a good job at work, caring for children & pets & more.
Fear can skew your judgment. Because fear is so tormenting & miserable, you can become desperate for a way out. This means you may listen to people you normally wouldn’t listen to for advice. You may consider or actually do things you know you shouldn’t do.
If you can relate to these, then you may be operating under the control of a spirit of fear. Don’t lose hope though! You don’t have to live this way any longer!
To start, refocus on God. Read your Bible more often. Subscribe to a daily devotional or Bible in a year email. Listen to Christian music that makes you feel close to God & do it often. Ask Him for help whenever you feel fear. And when you don’t, thank Him & ask Him to help you to live with this type of peace more often.
Consider your situation logically. Ask yourself why this situation makes you so afraid. Is there a valid reason to feel fear? Can harm come to you or someone else? Doing this can help you refocus & accept that there is no real reason to be scared.
Force yourself out of your comfort zone sometimes. It really will help you to have more self confidence which will in turn reduce the amount of fear you feel. When my mother died & I learned I was her personal representative, I didn’t think I could do it. I had no choice though. I legally couldn’t pawn the duties off on anyone else. I literally had to force myself to do things that were miles out of my comfort zone. I did them though. I tried to reward myself almost every time I did something, too. It didn’t have to be anything big. I like driving while listening to good music so I would take a long route home & just enjoy the music. Sometimes I picked up dinner rather than cook. Pushing myself out of my comfort zone helped me to gain more & more confidence, & the rewards helped to cement good feelings in my mind. Try to do the same! Start small & do bigger, scarier things as you feel able, & don’t forget to reward yourself after for a job well done!
In time, you can stop living with that spirit of fear & start living with the sound mind that God has given you!