No matter how careful you may be, it’s likely you’ve come across at least one narcissist in your life. They will do anything they can to make sure they always have control of their victims.
The most helpful thing I have found to do in these situations is to pray. Asking God to help me remain calm, think logically rather than emotionally & have creative & effective ways of dealing with their manipulation has been incredibly helpful.
Simple acts such as providing too much personal information, strong emotional reactions, & tolerating control & manipulation can all contribute to narcissists having the power. To take your power back, you need to do the opposite of those things. Don’t share personal information. When the narcissist provokes you, remain calm even when you have every right to be angry or hurt. Instead of giving the narcissist their way when they try to control you, act as if you don’t notice what they are trying to do.
It is also so important to practice self-care. Take the time to keep yourself grounded & pay attention to your feelings & thoughts. Allow yourself to be honest & real with yourself, & reject any guilt that may influence you to stay with a narcissist or tolerate their abuse just because they make you feel you should do such things. Listen to yourself & understand that your feelings are valid & important. You never deserve to feel guilty or ashamed of being upset over how they treat you.
It is also important to recognize your own strength & power. Remind yourself that with God’s help, you are capable of getting through anything, & you have every right to take control of your life! Make sure that you are fully aware of how you are feeling & staying true to yourself.
One important step in taking back your power from narcissists is to recognize their behavior & know when it is happening. It’s vitally important to be aware of those times when their behavior turns manipulative, controlling, or abusive & be willing to take steps to protect yourself.
Another step in taking back your power from narcissists is to be willing to set boundaries. It can often be difficult & ineffective to stand up to a narcissist & tell them no, as you do with those who aren’t narcissists. Narcissists are notorious for barreling over healthy boundaries &/or portraying themselves as innocent victims when someone tries setting boundaries on their abusive behavior. This often makes victims give up their boundaries rather than deal with the narcissist’s abusive protests. But it’s important to remember that you have the right to have boundaries, to be respected & treated fairly. If a narcissist continues to disrespect you, it is important to protect yourself however you need to do. Changing the topic of conversation, hanging up the phone or leaving can be subtle ways to do this. If all else fails, find a way to turn the conversation back to the narcissist somehow. They almost never pass up an opportunity to tall about themselves.
Being aware of your own reactions to them also helps to take your power away from narcissists. Narcissists view strong emotional reactions in their victims as a sign of weakness, & use these reactions to control & manipulate. It’s best to stay in tune with your emotions to make sure you are not giving them power when you respond to their behavior.
Lastly, a great way to help yourself in these situations is to practice mindful reflection. This can be done through activities such as praying & journaling to help you become aware of how their words &/or actions are affecting you. Self-care is important anyway but it can also be helpful in recognizing the narcissist’s manipulation & how you can best manage your responses to their behavior.
Taking back your power from narcissists is ultimately about recognizing their tactics & having the willingness to protect yourself. It’s not easy but it can be done. The more you do it, the better you will become at it.
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