Being romantically involved with a demanding partner is a miserable experience. It’s not something I could do ever again! If you are wondering what is happening with your partner, I hope to help you understand him or her better today & find ways to cope.
Demanding partners expect their partners’ lives to revolve around theirs. If the partner makes plans or buys something without checking first with the demanding partner, the demanding partner is clearly offended & angry.
Demanding partners are entitled, & expect the world to revolve around them. If both partners have a need, the demanding partner’s needs always come first even if the other partner’s need is equally or even more important.
Demanding partners expect to be in charge. They have final say in what friends they have, what cars the couple buys, where they live & even what they do for holidays. What their partners say is irrelevant, because clearly a demanding partner is the only one who is allowed to make decisions.
Demanding partners who don’t get their way act like spoiled, pouting children. They get angry & accuse others of being thoughtless, insensitive, selfish & more. Or, they use passive/aggressive tactics such as the silent treatment, deliberately forgetting to do things for their partner or doing those things badly.
Demanding partners don’t like to be inconvenienced in any way. If they have to wait on their partner, they get angry. If their partner asks a favor of them, they may do it, but clearly resent being burdened by the request even when the favor is a small one.
Demanding partners have bad tempers. The slightest thing can make them disproportionately angry, & not only with their partners. Being cut off in traffic, someone accidentally butting in line in front of them at the grocery store or a co worker getting a raise can trigger their rage just as easily as their partner forgetting to do something for them.
Demanding partners are exhausting! Being with someone like this means you have to work hard constantly if you want to keep them happy. You have to do for them & anticipate their needs & wants. You have to expect no gratitude for your efforts, only more demands. You also may have to hear about how you never do anything for this person, you can’t do anything right, you should try harder, & for them to change their minds about what they want on a constant basis.
If this describes your partner, then my heart truly goes out to you! It is a miserable way to live!
If you have tried speaking to your partner about this behavior, how does he or she react? If your partner is upset by the fact their behavior has hurt you, this is a good sign! Sometimes people are so caught up in the busyness of their life or some emotional pain that they behave in very selfish & insensitive ways. People like that can change if they want to, & seeing someone they love hurting because of their actions is a great motivator for them.
If your partner responds by being defensive or trying to deflect the conversation onto your faults, this is a huge red flag. That is a sign of seriously dysfunctional, if not narcissistic, behavior. You are going to need to decide whether or not this relationship is worth continuing.
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