Tag Archives: deprive

Withholding Intimacy In Marriage

Kinda along the lines of my last post about marital rape…

 

Another way narcissists can abuse their partners is by withholding intimacy.  Although this is commonly thought to be something only women do, men do it as well.

 

Withholding sex can be as emotionally damaging as forcing it, but in different ways.  Withholding can make a person question & doubt herself.  She thinks things like she isn’t attractive or desirable or even thinks she is disgusting in some way, which is why her partner refuses to make love to her.  This particularly cruel type of rejection is devastating to the self-esteem, & a person with low self-esteem is easy for an abuser to control.  Low self-esteem means a person will tolerate a lot of abuse from her partner, & for a long time.  She does not think anyone else would have her, so why leave?

 

Sex also can be used as manipulation.  An abuser may promise sex if his partner does something else he wants, & the partner, wanting sex, will do whatever the abuser asks.

 

It also can be used as a punishment.  For example, if you do something your partner didn’t want you to do, he may refuse to have sex with you for weeks or even months

 

If you are experiencing these things with your spouse, they are abusive!  Don’t doubt that for a moment!

 

Also don’t doubt yourself.  I know it’s hard, but the way you feel is wrong!  You aren’t unworthy of your partner’s love- your partner is being abusive, & that is no reflection on you whatsoever.  Talk to God about how you feel, & ask Him to tell you the truth about who you are.  I also have some affirmations on my website that may help you.  They are available at the following link:  http://cynthiabaileyrug.com/Positive-Affirmations.php

 

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Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism