Since it’s impossible to avoid all narcissists, I thought I would write a post to help people easily recognize their abusive actions. This post will be about the actions of overt narcissists, the next, about covert.
Overt narcissists are the most commonly discussed type of narcissist. They are known to be very loud, brash & bold in their abuse. They are the easiest narcissists to identify simply because of how obvious they usually are.
Overt narcissists rage. Loudly. When their victim causes them a narcissistic injury by failing to provide them with their narcissistic supply, overt narcissists will be furious & let their victim know it. If the victim fails to complement the narcissist, disobeys the narcissist or commits some other supposed horrific sin, that victim can count on the narcissist punishing them harshly for it.
Overt narcissists like to brag. When dealing with an overt narcissist, it won’t take long before this person regales you with stories of their great accomplishments, their unique talents or the masses of people who admire them.
If an overt narcissist isn’t the center of attention, he or she will find a way to return to the center of attention. An overt narcissist will do whatever it takes to gain attention, good or bad. They will start to discuss highly inappropriate topics such as the details of a recent murder or even body functions. They will make noises such as clapping their hands or even a loud burp. I remember my mother once breaking into song when my father & I were talking & she wasn’t interested in our conversation.
Overt narcissists also have no problem interrupting other people. If a person is talking about something that doesn’t interest the overt narcissist, they have no problem interrupting or talking over that person to change the conversation back to them.
All narcissists lack empathy, & overt ones are very obvious about it. If you have a problem, an overt narcissist will be sure to let you know that your problem isn’t important to them. They will change the subject or say invalidating things to make you feel so badly for being upset, that you don’t discuss this topic again.
Overt narcissists must be in charge of every area of the relationship, period. Overt narcissists are like dictators in a relationship. They will use shame & fear primarily to keep their victim under their control. Many also have a thing for using cars to help them dominate. They must drive, because that way they have their victim trapped where they can’t escape & they are in control of where they go.
Overt narcissists are incredibly opinionated. Whatever the topic is, overt narcissists will have an opinion on it & believe that everyone must hear said opinion. If the opinion is something about the victim, you can guarantee it will be a negative opinion.
All narcissists are envious, but overts are very obvious about it. Anyone an overt narcissist believes to be more talented, successful or attractive than they are is going to be judged & criticized VERY harshly, & usually behind their back in an attempt to turn other people against the person they envy.
Overt narcissists have double standards. Whatever an overt narcissist does is great, but if anyone else does that same thing, it’s bad. For example, if an overt narcissist lied to you, that would be ok because, according to them, something about you made them lie. Yet, if you lie to the overt narcissist, that is completely unacceptable & there is no reason whatsoever for you to lie to them, ever!
Obviously this isn’t a complete list of the behaviors of the overt narcissist, but it should be enough to help you see such behaviors as a red flag. Recognizing those red flags will help you to protect yourself from such toxic people.