Highly sensitive people, also known as HSPs, are rather looked at as if we have some supernatural powers & are extremely fragile. We are often perceived as freaks of nature that must be coddled through our daily existence. Nothing could be further from the truth. We are exceptionally sensitive to our surroundings & people in our lives, but we also are surprisingly strong. We can handle a great deal provided we have our down time to recharge & people in our lives that accept that about us. Yet somehow, we often end up romantically involved with people who don’t understand or accept that about us.
When you’re an HSP in love with someone who isn’t one, life is going to be a challenge. It is so easy to assume that all conflicts in the relationship are your fault. After all, you’re the sensitive one, so couldn’t you be over sensitive? That’s certainly a reasonable question to ask! However, did it not occur to you that you may see yourself as over sensitive because your significant other is rather insensitive in comparison?
Your partner may not be an insensitive jerk, but rather an average person regarding their sensitivity level. That isn’t a bad thing. Most people are that way. But, for the sake of your sanity, if at all possible, you need to accept your partner as they are & also ask them to accept that you aren’t like them. You are more sensitive & being that way means your needs are different. You need some things much more than your partner. A partner who can accept such differences without judgment & try to accommodate them is a true gem!
Sometimes, non-HSP people tend to be thoughtless. They may come home from work & turn on the radio or television with the volume way up when you need quiet. Yes, this is very frustrating, but it doesn’t mean you need to be subjected to it. Ask your partner to turn the volume down some & go into a separate space where you can have silence or your own preference for music or television set at a volume you prefer. One of you in the living room & the other in a bedroom may work well. If your home is too small for this, then consider going for a walk or a drive.
Another helpful tip is to remind yourself often that not everyone is as sensitive to everything as you are. Your partner may be a lovely, caring person but still can make insensitive comments periodically that upset you. If your partner isn’t trying to cause you upset by such comments, if possible, let them go like water off a duck’s back. Remember, not everyone will think like you, & that is ok! If your partner is trying to upset you deliberately however, that is a very different scenario! That is cruel & needs to be addressed.
You can blossom in a relationship with someone who isn’t a highly sensitive person, but there are some things you need to do.
Make time just for yourself, without your partner. Enjoy whatever brings you joy – music, art, or your favorite hobbies. Explain to your partner that it has nothing to do with you not wanting to spend time with them. You simply need time alone to recharge.
There can be good things to remember about being with a non-HSP partner. Your partner won’t struggle with being around other people while you enjoy your solitude, & you can introduce him or her to the beauty surrounding us every day. The balance you bring to each other can be wonderful. However, if your partner is too extroverted & frequently tries to convince you to socialize more often than you are comfortable with, that can be a problem.
Teach your partner about what it is like being a highly sensitive person. This will show you how healthy your relationship is or is not. Someone who truly loves & wants to be with you will be more than happy to learn about such things. This also can help your relationship grow closer & increase your mutual love & understanding.