When Certain Things Suddenly Prompt Anger In Christians

In this past year or so, I’ve realized that certain things trigger my anger extremely fast.  I’m not talking about losing my temper easily or being abusive with my anger, but feeling very angry quicker than I ever had before.  At first, I thought maybe it’s my age.  Middle age seems to get rid of the tolerance for a lot of things a person tolerated in their youth.  I also thought it might be because of all of the really negative, unfair & traumatic things I have been through in my life.  Add in a traumatic brain injury in 2015, & getting angry faster & easier than I used to seemed normal since that can be one of the symptoms of TBIs.  In considering my situation though, none of those felt like the cause.  In time, I realized the closer I get to God, the angrier I am.

It sounds wrong, doesn’t it?  It sounds opposed to Christianity as people think of it whether or not they are Christians.  Yet, there are valid reasons for me feeling as I do.  I can’t help but think other Christians may experience what I do, so my hope is what I share with you will help you as well.

I have absolutely no tolerance anymore for certain things, & when I witness them or hear about them, I become furious.  Those things are when people think they are better than others, liars, those who deliberately hurt innocent people, people who love to do plan & do wicked things, & people who talk badly about others for no reason.  These things are typical behavior of narcissists & their flying monkeys.  I have experienced them firsthand thanks to narcissists & their flying monkeys that have been in my life, so it’s only natural to hate them.  Yet that hatred has gotten worse in the recent past.  Did you know though that God also hates these things?  Proverbs 6:16-19 in the Amplified Bible state: “These six things the Lord hates; Indeed, seven are repulsive to Him: ¹⁷A proud look [the attitude that makes one overestimate oneself and discount others], a lying tongue, And hands that shed innocent blood, ¹⁸A heart that creates wicked plans, Feet that run swiftly to evil, ¹⁹A false witness who breathes out lies [even half-truths], And one who spreads discord (rumors) among brothers.”

Interestingly, I also remembered Romans 12:9 in the New International Version of the Bible.  It says, “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.”

Considering both of these Scriptures, I think the anger I experience makes a lot of sense.  When you get especially close to a person, you often develop some of their characteristics, such as their mannerisms & some of their ways of thinking.  Getting closer to God is no different.  The closer a person gets to Him, the more they become like Him in many ways.  A part of this is those things that once were tolerable are no longer tolerable if they go against God.  These things that stir up the most awful anger in me are specifically things that God speaks against & hates!  They also are evil & we are commanded to hate what is evil.  You can’t hate something without feeling anger at that thing.   It is only normal!

I know many people think Christians never should feel anger or hatred, but that isn’t Biblical!  Evil things should stir up anger & yes, even hatred in Christians.  Not feeling anger or hatred at such things normalizes them, & really, it even condones them.  Absolutely nothing good can come from that whatsoever!  If that was the case, God certainly wouldn’t hate the things that He does. 

If certain things trigger an uncharacteristic anger or even hatred in you, I would like to encourage you to pray.  Also consider your situation.  I would guess that you started feeling this way as you got closer to God as I have.  If this is the case, there is nothing wrong with you or your feelings!  It’s ok, & even Godly to view things as God does.  Your feelings also can be excellent motivators.  Mine motivate me to keep writing & to keep speaking openly about narcissistic abuse & refuse to tolerate abusive behavior from anyone.  Certainly these are good things! 

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When Family Objects To God’s Calling On Your Life

Family is supposed to be a safe haven, a place where although mistakes are made, everyone loves & supports each other.  They encourage each other to learn & to grow.  Sadly, this isn’t how families always work.  Sometimes, families are abusive & cruel, destroying each other physically, emotionally, spiritually & financially.  Some families are more interested in keeping up the appearance of being a loving family than actually working on being one.  Sometimes, families also put their wants above the will of God for each other’s lives, & people in this position are the ones I want to address today.

God created families to love, teach, support & nurture each other.  Sometimes though even families that do this don’t understand when one relative has a calling on their life that is out of the ordinary.  Their intentions may be good, but they still try to discourage that relative from doing what they know God wants them to do.  Then there are other families like mine.  Their intentions were anything but good when they tried to shame me for writing about the topics I do.  God showed me they did this to keep me from discussing topics that reminded them of their own pain or guilt for not helping me when I was being abused.

Being in such a position where people try so hard to discourage you from doing God’s will for your life can be so hard!  It makes you doubt, wondering if you really did hear God correctly.  It makes you feel embarrassed because people clearly think something is very wrong with you to be doing what you’re doing.  You also can’t help but feel like a fool.  But you know something?  If you keep doing what you know to do, you won’t regret it, & I’ll prove it.

Jesus Himself left His earthly family to pursue His heavenly Father’s will. He said in Luke 2:49, “And He answered, “Why did you have to look for Me? Did you not know that I had to be in My Father’s house?”  By stepping outside of his family’s expectations, Jesus was able to fulfill His divine purpose on earth.

God called Abraham to leave his family, his country, & his people to follow Him to a land that He would show him.  By leaving the familiar land of his family & stepping out in faith, Abraham was able to establish a covenant with God & become the father of many nations.

Ruth, a Moabite woman, chose to leave her family & homeland to follow her mother-in-law Naomi to Israel.  When she did this, she found favor with Boaz, a Godly man she later married.  Ultimately, Ruth became the great-grandmother of King David & part of the lineage of Jesus Christ.

I also can tell you from personal experience that although writing the topics I write about can be extremely difficult & painful when it forces me to remember my own experiences, it has been an incredible blessing too.  I have met some really wonderful people because of my work, several of which I’m happy to call friends.  I have received many messages from people saying how helpful something I wrote has been for them.  I also have the knowledge that I’m doing God’s will for my life, & that alone is incredibly rewarding,

If you want to do God’s will for your life & your family doesn’t approve, I encourage you to do it anyway!  Prioritize your relationship with God above everything else.  By spending time in prayer, Scripture reading, & worship, we can develop a deeper understanding of God’s will for our lives.  As we grow closer to God, He will guide us in how to navigate our relationships & responsibilities to our families. 

If He requires you to leave your family to do His will, you’re not alone!  You will survive it.  Even though it will hurt, the blessings well outweigh that hurt.  He certainly has done this for many people in the Bible & even with me.  He can do it for you too!

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Being A Good Witness Of Your Faith Is Not Always What You Think it Is

Acts 4:31 in the Amplified translation of the Bible says, “And when they had prayed, the place where they were meeting together was shaken [a sign of God’s presence]; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak the word of God with boldness and courage.” 

As born again believers, we need to be open our faith & not be ashamed of it.  That being said though, some of us aren’t always comfortable with talking about it.  I am one of those people.  Although my faith is strong, verbalizing it isn’t my strength by any stretch of the imagination.  Writing is easier but even so, if someone has some questions or tries to contradict what I say, chances are good my brain won’t cooperate with me.  I won’t be able to have an intelligent argument for why I believe what I believe because I am so uncomfortable with confrontations, which is what that feels like even when it is unintentional. I also am not good at remembering what Scripture I found where in the Bible.  That has nothing to do with my faith.  That is all on me.  It’s a big shortcoming on my part. 

Because of said shortcoming, I felt like a failure as a Christian for a long time.  Clearly, that’s not a nice way to feel.  However, as a victim of narcissistic abuse for so long, it’s also understandable.  Being abused by narcissists makes people feel like failures no matter what they do, because they can’t meet the unrealistic expectations of narcissists.  Over time, being accused of being a failure makes a person think they are a failure if they make any mistakes whatsoever.  That feeling is completely wrong, even about your faith, & I’ll tell you why.

Everyone has different gifts.  Ephesians 4:11 in the Living Bible says, “Some of us have been given special ability as apostles; to others he has given the gift of being able to preach well; some have special ability in winning people to Christ, helping them to trust him as their Savior; still others have a gift for caring for God’s people as a shepherd does his sheep, leading and teaching them in the ways of God.”  Clearly this says that we simply aren’t giving the same gifts.  If sharing the message of the Gospel isn’t your gift, that doesn’t mean something is wrong with you!  It also doesn’t mean that you can’t be a good witness of your faith.

When people learn that you are a Christian, they watch your behavior to be sure it lines up with what you say.  People naturally are drawn to people who are real.  Even those who claim to be atheists are drawn to Christians who try to live their faith as much as they can.  2 Corinthians 3:2-3 in the Living Bible says, “The only letter I need is you yourselves! By looking at the good change in your hearts, everyone can see that we have done a good work among you. ³They can see that you are a letter from Christ, written by us. It is not a letter written with pen and ink, but by the Spirit of the living God; not one carved on stone, but in human hearts.”

If you are like me & not overly comfortable being a witness in the way that so many churches say you should be, by talking often & openly about your faith, I want you to know today that there is nothing wrong with you by not doing it!  As long as you are living your faith to the best of your ability, God still is very pleased with you!  Just keep doing what you do, & you will be surprised at the people who are moved by your example. 

I have people who follow my work that don’t share my faith.  In fact, some have been abused by so called “religious” people who contort God’s word to make it sound like He is all for being abusive.  Logically, it seems like they would recognize my faith & run in the other direction, yet they don’t.  That isn’t because I have any special skills for winning people to Jesus.  It’s because I try to be real.  I am open about my faith & struggles, say “I don’t know” sometimes & help them recognize that their abusers misused God’s word.  Simple, yes, but also it helps those without faith to see that not all Christians are cruel & neither is God.

If you feel badly for not being a so called “good witness”, I hope today you realize that you don’t have to be able to preach like Billy Graham to help spread the message of the Gospel.  Just be true to yourself & living your faith to the best of your ability.  That is all you have to do to please God & to help people recognize the beautiful message of the Gospel of Jesus.

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What Biblical Submission In Marriage Really Is

Ephesians 5:22-24 instructs wives to submit to their husbands.  Frequently these verses are taken out of context, & even worse, used to manipulate women into tolerating abuse from their husband.  This is not the intended message of the Scriptures!

Ephesians 5:22 in the Amplified Bible states, “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as [a service] to the Lord”.  The original Greek word used for “subject” is “hupotasso”, which means to willingly place oneself under another’s authority.  This is not forced submission, but a voluntary act of respect & love.

Verse 23 goes on to say, “For the husband is head of the wife, as Christ is head of the church, Himself being the Savior of the body”   “Head” refers to a position of responsibility & leadership, not dominance or superiority.  Just as Christ is the head of the church & serves it, the husband is called to be the head of the household & serve it.  This means that he is to love, protect, guide, & care for the needs of his wife & family

Verse 24 then goes on to say, “But as the church to Christ, so also wives should be subject to their husbands in everything [respecting both their position as protector & their responsibility to God as head of the house]”   This comparison is significant because it emphasizes the importance of submission in Christian faith.  Just as the church submits to God out of love & reverence, wives are called to submit to their husbands out of love & respect.   However, this submission is not blind or unconditional.  Just as the church has the right to question God, wives have the right to question & challenge their husbands’ decisions if they believe they are unjust or harmful.

Many who stress the importance of wives being submissive stop at this point, but the Bible doesn’t.  Verse 25 addresses husbands.  It says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church & gave Himself up for her,”  This means husbands should prioritize their wives’ needs & well-being.  This love is not based or control, but on service & humility.

Verses 26-27 go on to say, “so that He might sanctify the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word [of God], ²⁷ so that [in turn] He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy [set apart for God] and blameless.”  This shows His love is not just a feeling, but a transformative force that changes & purifies.  In the same way, husbands’ love for their wives should be transformative & purifying, helping them to grow & flourish.

Ephesians 5:30 then draws another parallel between the husband-wife relationship & the relationship between Christ & the church.  It says, “because we are members (parts) of His body.”  This emphasizes the intimate & inseparable nature of the relationship between Christ & the church.  In the same way, the husband & wife are called to be intimately connected & inseparable, as one flesh.

Interestingly, Ephesians 5:21 is also frequently neglected when people discuss the submission of wives.  It states, “being subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.”  This statement reminds us that submission is not a one-sided obligation but a mutual relationship where both parties serve each other & God.  Husbands are called to submit to their wives by loving them sacrificially, & wives are called to their husbands by respecting & supporting them. 

Lastly, Ephesians 5:11 reminds us that we shouldn’t have any part in evil deeds.  No wife should submit to an ungodly or abusive husband.

By exploring Scripture, we can see that submission is not a one-sided obligation but a mutual relationship where both parties serve each other & God.  Submission does not mean blind obedience or tolerating ungodly behavior.  Our ultimate obligation is to God, & we are called to seek Him first.

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A Message For The Ladies

In the time that Jesus lived on the Earth, women were not exactly respected.  They weren’t allowed to participate in the activities of holy days, to talk to men outside of their home, to learn many basic things such as to read or even receive an inheritance.  Although things aren’t perfect today, women have it much better than they did in Jesus’ time.  In that era, women were supposed to be seen & not heard.

Thankfully, Jesus began to change this!  I find it so strange how many people think Christianity is oppressive to women, because the Bible is full of stories of how Jesus loved & taught everyone, not only men.  Women were among His closest companions.  Luke 8 tells of some of them.  Luke 8:2 mentions Mary Magdalene.  Jesus cast seven demons out of her & she devotedly followed him after that.  She was in fact at his trial & crucifixion.  Luke 8:3 mentions Joanna & Susanna along with many others whose names weren’t mentioned specifically.

There was also the prostitute who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears during a dinner at the house of a Pharisee.  Her story is told in Luke 7:36-50.

Another Mary is mentioned too.  She was the mother of one of the disciples of Jesus, James. 

John 4:7-30 tells the story of Jesus talking to a very sinful Samaritan woman.  At the time, most people wouldn’t have spoken with her, but Jesus did & talked to her with kindness, respect & love. 

We also can’t forget the woman caught in the act of adultery.  Her story is told in John 8.  The scribes & Pharisees demanded she be punished to the fullest extent of the law, yet interestingly, not one of them mentioned punishing the man she was with.  He reminded them that they weren’t perfect either.  Then He forgave her sin & told her not to sin again.  He showed her great mercy when many others would have stoned her to death.

Of course, we can’t forget Mary, the mother of Jesus!  She was with Him every possible moment of His time here on Earth.

Jesus loved these women dearly, & always treated them with love & respect.  He acknowledged their sins, but didn’t treat them as if that was what defined them.  He never talked down to them or treated them as society did, as if they were inferior.  He talked to them about anything & everything that interested them or that they needed to hear.  He praised their good deeds, such as the poor widow who gave a tiny amount in an offering because she gave all that she had.  

One of the best parts of how Jesus was with women is that He transformed their lives.  Rather than remaining seen & not heard, they ended up living lives of influence.  They made changes in the world around them.  That would have been impossible without Jesus!

Ladies, I want to encourage you today to be confident in yourself.  You are loved so much more than you know by God!  He supports you & wants only the best for you.  If you aren’t sure what His purpose for you is, start asking Him to show you.  Pay attention to the yearnings in your heart.  Start trying some things.  You’ll find out pretty quickly what you can & can’t do, what you love to do & what you don’t.  It may take a little time, but don’t be discouraged.  God has created you with a purpose & with the ability to fulfill that purpose!

Making A Difference With Your Faith In God

In a world that is filled with so much hurt & pain, it is easy to get lost & feel like our faith doesn’t matter.  We can get bogged down by the heaviness of the world & feel like our small act of faith can’t make a difference.  The truth is that faith absolutely makes a difference!

The reality is that God is the only thing that can turn the world upside down. But, when we have faith in God, we are able to see the world through His eyes & make a difference in the world with the gifts & talents that He has given us.  That’s why it’s important not to give up, & to keep your faith strong.

Faith is having complete trust & confidence in God.  It believes in the unseen.  It is the complete surrender of our doubt & fear to God.  It is trusting that God will never leave us or forsake us, no matter what we may be going through.  Faith is trusting in God, knowing that He will work out the details of our lives & is always in control.  It is also the courage to take action despite uncertainty. It is having trust that God’s plan is greater than our own.  It means that He will be our strength when we are weak.  

Faith can give us strength, courage & hope in the midst of difficult & uncertain times. It can help to bring about peace, joy & transformation in every aspect of our lives.

It takes faith to look at the world & see it differently than others.  Faith wants to make a difference, believes that we can & trusts that God will give us the strength & ability to do so.  With faith, we can believe that the world can be different & that we have the power to make a change.

Faith can lead us to action & open us up to new possibilities.  Faith can move mountains, change the course of history & bring about a wave of transformation in the world.  It is a force that cannot be stopped & will always prevail in the end.  Faith is a powerful tool that can be used for good & when we have faith in the unseen, amazing & wonderful things can happen.

Faith has the power to bring about real & lasting change in the world.  When we have faith & believe that better things are possible, God empowers us to take action & create a more loving & just world.  

Faith can lead us to open our hearts & minds to connecting with those around us in deeper ways, & even those we have never met.  It can encourage us to reach out to the vulnerable & marginalized. Faith can heal broken hearts & bring joy & peace to the world. 

It takes faith to see the world differently, to believe that better things are possible, & to take action when we don’t know the result.  Faith can give us the strength to keep going even when the odds seem insurmountable. It can empower us to make a difference in the world by our actions & to see the beauty in life.

Having faith can be hard & can often put us out of our comfort zone, but it is absolutely worth it!  Faith can give us courage & strength to make a difference, to look at the world with eyes filled with hope & love, & to help create a better, more just world.  During the hard times remember that all it takes is a tiny amount of faith to make a difference, so if all you have at the moment is a tiny amount, that is enough!  Matthew 17:20 says, “He answered, “Because of your little faith [your lack of trust and confidence in the power of God]; for I assure you and most solemnly say to you, if you have [living] faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and [if it is God’s will] it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.”

Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean You’re OK With Resuming A Toxic Relationship

Back in 2016, I had a very interesting dream not long after my husband’s mother died. In it, she & I were together, & she tearfully apologized for how badly she had treated me. In the dream, I reacted much as I would if this happened in real life. I said thank you, I appreciate that, but please leave me alone. At that point, she left me alone & I woke up.

Many people would think this is proof I haven’t forgiven her for the abuse & the many problems she caused in my marriage. After all, there wasn’t any sort of affection coming from me. I didn’t hug her & say all is fine now. I was cold & wanted her to leave me alone, just like how I would have behaved if this had happened in my life instead of only in a dream. The truth is that forgiveness isn’t always about forgiving & forgetting, which is what God showed me in this dream. He showed me that forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily mean you are OK with resuming a relationship with that person.

Forgiveness has many facets. You can forgive that person who hurt you accidentally somehow because you know they honestly had no ill intentions towards you. They were truly ignorant of the problems their actions would cause. You also can forgive someone when their actions, although well intentioned, caused you problems that no one could foresee. You also can forgive someone their debt that they can’t repay you. In these instances, if the offending people are apologetic & change their behavior, the relationship can continue as normal. I firmly believe that most people think all forgiveness should be this way, but that is highly unrealistic. Sometimes, in spite of forgiving someone, you need to make changes in the relationship or even end it.

Let’s say a person owed you money then you forgave their debt continually kept trying to borrow more money from you. It would be foolish of you to lend them money & forgive their debt repeatedly, wouldn’t it? The same goes for someone who hurt you, then repeated that behavior even knowing how much it hurt you. It would be foolish to continue to allow this person to hurt you over & over again. You may continue the relationship with people like this, but your boundaries should be much stricter than they had been. Or, you may opt to end the relationship. Either way, your behavior would be reasonable under the circumstances. Also, either way, your behavior isn’t proof that you harbor unforgiveness.

When someone has hurt, used or abused you repeatedly, it is possible to forgive them while not being ready to continue the relationship as it was. Or, if you ended the relationship, it’s possible to forgive them while not being willing to resume a relationship.

I believe that forgiving someone means that you harbor no ill will towards them. You don’t wish the worst on them. You also release them from any expectations of trying to make it up to you for what they have done. If they do, great! If not, that is fine too, but it does mean you need to adjust your behavior in ways that protect you from their bad behavior.

If you have changed or ended a relationship with someone who repeatedly hurts you, please don’t let anyone tell you that you haven’t forgiven them or you should “forgive & forget.” Never forget, there is nothing bad in or wrong with setting boundaries or ending toxic relationships.

The Power Of Praying Over Your Home

Since becoming a Christian in 1996, I have learned a great deal about the power of prayer over the years, & I even learned specifically about the power of praying over your home. 

Blessing your home like this is one of the simplest yet best things you can do for yourself & your home.  I don’t mean you have to invite in a priest, shaman or anyone special to do some very specific ritual.  I mean simply praying over your home, asking God to bless it however you see fit.

Many years ago when I came across this idea, I prayed over my husband’s & my first home.  I asked God to take care of it as well as our property, to take care of & bless not only us who lived in it but anyone who came through its door.  The prayer was nothing fancy, but it made an obvious difference. 

God protected us & our home from some pretty scary things after that prayer.  We had a very large dead tree in our back yard that we couldn’t afford to have cut down right away.  Every time there was a storm or wind, we were afraid of its branches or the tree itself falling onto our home or cars.  Several times, huge branches fell, but never on our house or cars.  No major damage was caused by that tree in the years it was in that state until we could cut it down.  In 2010, lightening struck our home while we were out.  A window air conditioner caught fire, but went out quickly.  The only casualties were our well pump & a few dings in the metal siding.

Our home also became very peaceful after praying. 

Shortly after I prayed over our house the first time, my best friend came by one day & commented about how peaceful & comfortable the house felt.  She is a devoted Christian & very in tune to her surroundings, so I wasn’t entirely surprised by this even though I hadn’t told her what I did.  What did surprise me was when my father came by a few weeks later & said almost word for word the same thing she said.  At that time, he wasn’t a Christian & lacked my friend’s in tune ways.  It was one of many times that I realized there is something pretty significant to praying over your home.

A few years later, after my mother died, I inherited my parents’ home.  My husband & I moved in, & before that, I prayed over their house as I did for our first house.  The difference was astounding!  This house that once was the scene of so much anger & pain became my favorite place to be.  Its atmosphere is cozy & comfortable now.  Talk about a huge change!

The atmosphere of a home can change.  I have noticed that if someone who loves me visits, the energy in my house remains comfortable.  It also feels much darker if someone who doesn’t like me is in my home.  The cozy, peaceful feeling isn’t so pronounced in those situations.  Praying over your home after someone like that leaves & changes that energy right back to a much more peaceful atmosphere.  If someone especially unpleasant has been in my home, I find it helpful too, to open the windows after they leave.  I don’t think of this as anything spiritually significant, but it helps me to feel that fresh air can come in to replace their negative energy. 

Whether your home is a small studio apartment or a 7,000 square foot mansion, I would like to encourage you to do as I have done, & pray over your home.  Just pray as you feel is right.  If you want to know what I did, I asked God to bless my home, all of our property, the land, us & anyone who comes into it, even if it’s a repairman who is only there for a few minutes.  I also pray this periodically as I think of it.  Doing this has worked very well for me, & I believe it can work just as well for you!

What Would Jesus Do?

Many of us remember the popular “What Would Jesus Do” movement of the 1990’s.  For a while, many people wore jewelry or clothing with “WWJD?” on it.  What most people don’t know is that this phrase originally came into existence about 100 years before.

The wonderful book “In His Steps” by author Charles Sheldon was written in the late 1890’s, & was the origin of the phrase.  It’s a fictional story, but an excellent & very realistic & believable one.  The story is based on what happens when a small town pastor challenges his congregation to do nothing without first asking themselves, “What would Jesus do?” for an entire year, then do what they believe Jesus would do in their situation.  Several members of the congregation pledge to do this.  A newspaper editor decides to skip printing the Sunday edition of his paper, another man working for the railroad discovers fraud & leaves his job, & other similar things take place.  People also begin to help each other, such as an heiress helps the newspaper since it began to struggle financially after ending the Sunday printings. 

If you haven’t read this book, I highly recommend it!  It’s so inspiring!  Or, if you prefer to see the movie, there is one called “WWJD?  What Would Jesus Do?” from 2010 that is a wonderful modernized adaptation!  In looking up the movie’s year, I also learned it has a sequel from 2014 called, “What Would Jesus Do?  WWJD The Journey Continues.”   And, there is a sequel to the book called, “Jesus Is Here”, also written by Charles Sheldon.

The reason I recommend this book & movie is because they are so inspiring!  I think any Christian would do themselves a big favor by reading the book or at least watching the movie.  Even knowing it’s a fictional story, it’s so realistic you easily can imagine these things happening in real life.  It’s impossible not to be inspired by that!

The characters also are very realistic & convicted in their faith.  You can’t help but to want to be more like them, living fearlessly as a great example of your faith.

Usually I don’t recommend books or movies much, but these are different.  Obviously I can’t say they’re as inspiring as the Bible is, but they are very inspiring nonetheless.  They help stir up my faith & that is something we all need sometimes.  I believe they could benefit others as they have me.  After a period of dealing with some pretty painful things, my faith was a bit stagnant recently.  Not that I lost faith in God, of course.  I think I was just mired down in the negativity of what I had faced.  Watching the WWJD movie helped stir my faith back up, & get me back on track.

Even if you aren’t interested in reading the book or watching the movie, I would like to encourage you today to do as the characters in the stories pledged to do.  Before making decisions, ask yourself, “What would Jesus do?” then do what you believe that He would do if He was in your position.  Asking yourself this question really causes you to think about things more seriously, & consider other people more as well.  It causes you to make wiser decisions that benefit yourself & to treat other people with love & respect.

What Got Me Started Learning About Spiritual Warfare

As I’d written about some time back, I decided to learn more about evil & spiritual warfare.  I started this journey after watching a sermon about witchcraft, & would like to share some about what I learned from that sermon.  Just so you know, this is just scratching the surface. It’s quite an in depth topic.

Most people hear the word “witch” & think of images of a woman wearing all black, with a pointy black hat, & either riding a broom or stirring something in a large cauldron.  This is not the norm, however, except in movies.  Witches are all around us.  Many who are involved with certain religions, such as Wicca & Paganism, openly practice witchcraft, but there are even more people who practice witchcraft in much more subtle ways.  So subtle, in fact, that many witches don’t even consider themselves witches.  These are those who do things that go against God yet aren’t as obvious, such as manipulating, controlling, envying or hating others.  By doing these things that go against God, they are inviting the enemy, Satan, & his demons to work.

A side note here… such behaviors as manipulation, control & envying others are especially common among narcissists.  This is just one more reason I believe Narcissistic Personality Disorder to be more about evil than a mental health problem.  That isn’t the topic of this post, obviously, but I wanted to put it out there for something to think about.

Satan is a powerful enemy, but his powers are limited.  He needs to use human beings to enable him to do much of his work in the physical realm.  This is where people who don’t know God intimately come into play.  When they come across someone who they feel threatened by – such as someone they view as more successful, popular or attractive – they hate that person easily.  That hatred opens the door for Satan to work in their life as well as their victim’s life.  To keep the original person engaged, Satan often works subtly to keep their minds focused on their hatred.  One thing he does is to remind them to keep up with the personal details of that person they hate.  I firmly believe that this is why some people are so devoted about keeping up with the personal details such as snooping on social media posts of people they hate.  They certainly aren’t looking in the hopes of learning that the object of their hatred is happy & doing well.  They are looking in the hopes of finding out that person is miserable, alone, broke, sick or whatever. 

An important thing to keep in mind is that even Christians aren’t completely immune to the enemy’s attacks.  Consider the story of Job.  He was loyal to God, yet Satan attacked his health, family & more.  Even Jesus was not immune to the enemy’s attacks while He was here in human form.  Satan tempted Him.  That story can be found in Matthew 4.  No matter how much you love God, Satan still can cause you problems.

To protect yourself, you must learn about Satan.  No one who successfully defeats an enemy does so without knowing about their enemy.  They get to know how their enemy thinks & how they work.  Remember that fighting Satan & his demons isn’t like fighting humans.  Ephesians 6:12 describes them in the Amplified Bible, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this [present] darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) places.” 

To fight a spiritual enemy, you also need to wear the armor of God as described in Ephesians 6:13-17: “Therefore, put on the complete armor of God, so that you will be able to [successfully] resist and stand your ground in the evil day [of danger], and having done everything [that the crisis demands], to stand firm [in your place, fully prepared, immovable, victorious]. ¹⁴ So stand firm and hold your ground, having tightened the wide band of truth (personal integrity, moral courage) around your waist and having put on the breastplate of righteousness (an upright heart), ¹⁵ and having strapped on your feet the gospel of peace in preparation [to face the enemy with firm-footed stability and the readiness produced by the good news]. ¹⁶ Above all, lift up the [protective] shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.” 

And above all, never, ever fail to ask God for help, guidance, discernment, courage & anything else you need.  If you don’t know what you need, that is ok!  Just ask Him for help, & He will be glad to do so!  Remember, Psalm 46 says that God is an ever present help in times of trouble, He is always with us & our Stronghold! 

25% Off All Ebooks Sale Is Still In Progress!

My publisher is offering 25% off all of my ebooks from December 15, 2022 – January 1, 2023. No coupon code is needed! Just shop & the sale price magically appears in your shopping cart.

My ebooks are available at the link below…

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/CynthiaBaileyRug

Big Sale On My Ebooks!

My publisher is offering 25% off all of my ebooks from December 15, 2022 – January 1, 2023. No coupon code is needed! Just shop & the sale price magically appears in your shopping cart.

My ebooks are available at the link below…

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/CynthiaBaileyRug

What Do You Think About This?

I’d like to ask your opinions.

I’ve been feeling a pull to learn about spiritual warfare & evil spirits recently. The little bit I’ve learned so far has been quite eye opening. I expect much more to be equally eye opening & informative.

So what I’d like your thoughts about is this.. would you like me to share what I learn in this blog? Why or why not? Please answer yes or no in the poll that follows, & if you have something to say beyond that, feel free to say so in the comments.

By the way.. if I do it (big if!), it wouldn’t mean I’m changing my writing to focus 100% on those topics. Narcissism & narcissistic abuse recovery still would be the main focus of my writing. I would just interject some of the other topics in periodically as I feel is right. Also, I schedule posts to publish months in advance, so chances are, unless I rearrange posts, you won’t see anything for a while if I do opt to post on these topics.

Also, saying no won’t offend/hurt me. If you would prefer not to read about this, it’s perfectly fine to say so. I plan on learning about these topics for myself no matter what. I just wanted to know if anyone is interested in me sharing what I learn, as I learn is all.

Thank you so much everyone for taking the time to answer my question & share your thoughts! ❤️

When Tough Times Happen

Sometimes life is so hard.  It seems like things go wrong constantly & you are stressed, hurt or frustrated.  In those times, God seems far away.  Not only because of the problems you’re going through but also because it can be so easy to get caught up in them & forget to keep God first.  It is in those times that we need to stop behaving like the person Jesus described in Matthew 13:22 in the parable of the seeds sown in various types of soil.  That person is the one who is distracted from his relationship with God by the things of the world like personal problems.  Unfortunately no one is immune to behaving this way sometimes.

When you’re distracted by problems, it is vital to turn back to God as soon as you recognize what you are doing.  He deserves first place in your life after all!  Doing so also will help strengthen you & help you to figure out ways to handle your situation.  It may teach you some other things as well. God truly wants the best for His children, so He often uses circumstances to protect, teach & guide us.  Following are some examples of when He does these things.

Anything that isn’t Biblical, God will close the door to.  If you have to lie to get a new job for example, God will close that door so you don’t get the job or allow you to get it but you will be miserable with it.  It can be difficult & even painful in the moment, but truly it’s for the best!  You have learned not to behave that way, & He has something much better planned for you.  Seriously consider your situation.  If there is anything about it that goes contrary to God’s word, chances are it’s going wrong because God is trying to close that door to keep you away from that bad thing.

Sometimes God closes the door on relationships too.  Some people may look good on the surface, they may even be very good people, but they aren’t good for you.  God knows better than you what is in their hearts, so trust Him to lead you to people that are good for you.  It never hurts to ask God to give you good, healthy & Bible believing friends in your life.  If you’re looking for a romantic partner, this is an especially good prayer to pray.  Being a believer married to an unbeliever is not a good place to be!

Sometimes God uses difficult circumstances to teach us things.  We learn forgiveness when we are wronged by other people.  When we go through hard times, we learn mercy for others who go through similar hard times.  When someone tells us what we did hurt them, we learn humility.  None of these situations are fun at the time, but they do help us to learn some pretty valuable things.

There are also times God uses difficult circumstances to punish us.  Hebrews 12:6-7 in the Amplified Bible says, “For the Lord disciplines and corrects those whom He loves, And He punishes every son whom He receives and welcomes [to His heart].”  ⁷You must submit to [correction for the purpose of] discipline; God is dealing with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?”  Obviously those times aren’t exactly pleasant, but they can be beneficial.  For example, your spouse tells you that they are upset about how disrespectfully your family treats them, but in spite of seeing evidence your spouse is correct, you ignore your family’s behavior or worse yet, make excuses for it.  Then you get a new coworker.  This person is very disrespectful to you.  They push you aside so they can deal with customers instead, or talk badly about you to other coworkers maybe even your boss.  You go to your boss with your concerns.  The boss tells you he doesn’t see this behavior as a problem or you have to let this go because this person has some sort of personal problems.  The way you feel in that situation mirrors much how your spouse feels.  God still loves you, but He is punishing you for treating your spouse badly.  Also, He uses this as a good learning experience.  Now that you know how your spouse feels, you are going to be more sensitive the next time they come to you with a complaint about your family’s disrespectful behavior.

The next time you are in a situation that is challenging or painful, I want to encourage you to try your best not to be so distracted by it that you ignore God.  Instead, turn to Him.  Ask what is going on, what is He trying to tell you & to help you get through it.  He absolutely will do answer your prayers!

Biggest Sale EVER On My Print Books! 30% Off!

My publisher is offering 30% off all of my print books until Tuesday November 29, 2022. Simply use code JOYFUL30 at checkout.

My books can be found at this link:

https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/cynthiabaileyrug

“Christian” Narcissists

Over the last few years, I have heard the term “Christian narcissists” used repeatedly.  It is used to describe people who are either active in their church or professing to be Christians, yet they also exhibit narcissistic behavior.  Most commonly, these people are covert narcissists who revel in appearing martyr like in their life, giving to & doing for those who are “beneath” them somehow.  They even can be leaders in their church who are perceived as good people, yet are subtly controlling church members & possibly even abusing their own families.

The problem is there is no such thing as a Christian narcissist.  There are narcissists who pretend to be good & even Godly people, but they truly aren’t Christians.  Labeling these people as such turns people away from Christianity.

These narcissists may be a bit hard to spot at first.  They are busy doing for others, even sometimes at their own expense.  They may donate large sums of money or spend great amounts of time volunteering.  People speak highly of them for all that they do for others.  Yet, if you look just below the surface, you can see hints that show these people aren’t the saints they portray themselves to be.

First & foremost, true Christians openly trust in Jesus as the Messiah, their personal Savior, & their behavior reflects that.  “Christian narcissists” may claim to trust Him, but their behavior says otherwise.  They don’t readily admit that they have a need for a Savior.  They don’t talk much God & his goodness.  They turn the topic back to themselves.  They don’t have any interest in doing God’s will for their lives.

“Christian narcissists” see themselves as more special to God than other people.  They don’t credit answers to their prayers to God’s love or kindness, but instead imply or even say outright it’s because He loves them more than other people.  They make it sound like the only reason God answers their prayers & loves them is because they are such wonderful, special people. The Bible says that God doesn’t show favoritism in Romans 2:11, so clearly they’re wrong about that.

Another sign of a “Christian narcissist” is that this person doesn’t brag about God, only themselves.  If you listen to these people long enough, you will see that their so called humility is peppered with bragging.  They subtly mention how they have been such a blessing to someone else by taking them food or giving money during their times of need.  They even may brag about the accomplishments of someone else in a way that makes them appear to deserve credit.  But, they definitely don’t say things like, “You won’t believe what God has done for me!”  “I am so grateful that God did this thing for me!”  “I couldn’t have done that thing without God helping me or showing me what to do!”  The Bible says that we are to brag not of our wisdom or other things, but only about God. Jeremiah 9:23-24 in the New International Bible says, “This is what the Lord says:  “Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, ²⁴ but let the one who boasts boast about this:  that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the Lord.””

If you speak to someone who claims to be a Christian yet demonstrates narcissistic behaviors like this, it’s certain you are dealing with a narcissist, not a Christian. 

Biblical Meekness Not Necessarily What You Think

Most people are well aware of Matthew 5:5 where Jesus states that the meek are blessed because they will inherit the earth. How many people know what it means to be truly meek though?

Most people hear the word meek & think of someone who is timid, mousy & always extremely submissive. This is actually a more accurate definition of the word “weak” than “meek.” As the saying goes, “don’t mistake my meekness for weakness.”

The original meaning for the word meek in Greek was a description of war horses, believe it or not. War horses were supposed to be extremely powerful yet also very willing to submit to those in authority over them. This is power that is kept in check.

In people, true meekness manifests in a person well aware of the power that they have as children of God, but they choose to submit to Him, doing His will for their life. 1 Corinthians 10:23 in the Amplified translation sums up the way this person thinks quite well: “All things are lawful [that is, morally legitimate, permissible], but not all things are beneficial or advantageous. All things are lawful, but not all things are constructive [to character] and edifying [to spiritual life].” The truly meek are also far from cowardly, trusting in God completely even when in their darkest hours.

Jesus was a perfect example of living with meekness while He was on the earth. He obviously possessed great power as evidenced by so many miracles He performed, yet in spite of His position & power, He never used it improperly. He lived His life submitted to God, willing to do anything He was asked to do, even to the point of death on the cross. And, when He knew the cross was going to happen soon, in spite of His fear & desire not to do it, He trusted God either to prevent it from happening or enabling Him to face it.

At the same time, Jesus was no pushover. Matthew 21:12 tells the story of Jesus driving out the moneychangers from the temple, & the Amplified translation says He drove them out “with force.” He also had no problems calling out people on their bad behavior, even the highly esteemed scribes & Pharisees. He called them hypocrites many times, & even called them “white washed tombs full of dead men’s bones” because although they appeared Godly, their hearts were full of things that went against God.

Christians are supposed to imitate Jesus in their behavior, & that includes being meek. If you aren’t sure exactly what this means to you, I would like to offer you some food for thought today.

Being meek means standing up for what is right in the right way. This doesn’t have to mean a big production. It means living a life of integrity, doing is right & what needs to be done. It also simply can mean saying, “This is wrong.” That sort of statement said to someone suffering at the hands of another can be life changing.

Being meek means being gentle in interacting with other people. It means you don’t have to be heard while quieting others, & allowing others to speak to you without fear of your judgment or criticism.

Being meek means accepting your limitations. That doesn’t mean you don’t try to improve yourself, of course. It means that you know you can’t do everything, & that is OK.

Being meek means realizing you don’t know everything, & admitting that rather than pretending to know everything. People respect those who are genuine. Even if they may be frustrated you don’t have the answer they’re looking for, they will respect you more for admitting than they would if you pretended to know.

Meekness is a truly undervalued attribute. Why not be someone who helps bring this admirable quality into the lives of those you love, & be a good example of meekness?

I’d Love Your Thoughts On A New Idea I Have

I’ve been toying with the idea of creating some digital ebook type courses, maybe printables. Nothing overly expensive of course. I always try to minimize costs of everything I write & these would be no exception to that. (Kinda weird to do, by the way.. I want costs to be cheap but not so cheap people see them & think “This can’t be any good.. it’s too cheap!” lol)

I need your thoughts on this idea.

First of all, is this something you would be interested in? I know written type courses aren’t as popular as audio or video, so I wonder if this would be appealing.

Second, if you like the idea, got any ideas on topic matter? I have a few but still would love to hear your thoughts to see if I’m on the right page (so to speak) with my readers.

If you’d like to answer my questions, feel free to comment or email me at CynthiaBaileyRug@aol.com

Thank you for your help, everyone!! I love & appreciate you! 😘❤️

15% Off My Print Books Until October 7, 2022

My publisher is having yet another sale! 15% off all print books when you use code PUMPKIN15 at checkout.

My print books can be found at the following link:

https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/cynthiabaileyrug

My New Shop On Facebook Is Open!

I have just created a shop on Facebook! Most of my books are currently available for purchase in there, & soon all will be. I opened it to make a central location where all of my books can be purchased, & is easy to find. Each link on the books takes you to a universal link, showing you all places where it is available for purchase.

My shop is connected to my business page, The Butterfly Project, which is why my name doesn’t appear on the shop, just FYI.

I hope you like the shop! Come check it out at the link below:

https://www.facebook.com/TheButterflyProjectMD/shop/?referral_code=page_shop_tab&preview=1

Save 10% On All My Print Books Until Sept. 2, 2022!

My publisher is having another sale. 10% off all print books until September 2, 2022 when you use code INNOVATION10 at checkout.

My print books can be found at this link:

https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/cynthiabaileyrug

You Matter!

Since my readers & followers consist primarily of people who have survived narcissistic abuse as I have, I naturally try to provide information to help either in dealing with narcissists, going no contact or healing from narcissistic abuse.  Simple encouragement, however, doesn’t happen all that often, & that is wrong on my part.  Everyone needs encouragement sometimes, & that is what I want to do today.

Victims of narcissistic abuse usually don’t realize their true worth & value.  How could they when narcissists do their level best to make sure their victims’ self esteem is utterly destroyed?  When a narcissist reminds you constantly about all of your faults, even ones you really don’t have, maintaining any sense of self esteem is nearly impossible.  So today, I just want you to know that no matter what a narcissist has told you, you matter.

You may think God made mistakes when He made you, but He certainly didn’t!  He made you as He did for valid reasons!  Ephesians 2:10 in the Good News Bible says, “God has made us what we are, and in our union with Christ Jesus he has created us for a life of good deeds, which he has already prepared for us to do.”  And, Psalm 139:16 says, “you saw me before I was born.  The days allotted to me. had all been recorded in your book, before any of them ever began.”  Clearly, God knew what He was doing when He made you, so obviously you mean so much to Him.

You may think no one would notice if you just disappeared from the lives of the people you love, but that isn’t true.  They would miss you & be devastated if you were no longer a part of their lives.  You fill a special place in their lives that no one else but you ever could fill.  You matter a great deal to them.

You may think the man or woman you love needs you to be low maintenance, to avoid “bothering” this person with your needs, wants or feelings, but that isn’t true.  Someone who truly loves you wants to know all about your needs, wants & feelings.  And, believe it or not, they will be happy to do things for you.  This person is with you because they don’t love anyone like they love you, & they want to share their life with you.  You matter so much to this person.

If you have children, you are of the utmost importance to them.  Children love their parents automatically.  I’m sure you have made mistakes raising your children & think that makes you an awful parent, but you’re wrong.  All parents make mistakes.  There is nothing wrong with that so long as you apologize & make things right to the best of your ability.  You taking care of your children, showing them love & protecting them makes you a wonderful parent, & you children love you.  You matter more to them than you realize.

If you have pets, I can promise that you matter a great deal to your pets too.  Animals may offer unconditional love, but even so, they aren’t happy with people who dislike them or mistreat them.  If your pet greets you when you come home, snuggles up to you while you watch tv or sleep, or just generally wants to be in your space, those are just some of the signs that say you matter a great deal to your baby.

Today, just remember that no matter what any terrible, cruel narcissist has said, you matter.  You matter much more than you know to those people in your life.  You aren’t whatever the narcissist told you that you were.  They only said such things as a way to hurt you.  In fact, what narcissists criticize most is what they are the most envious of in their victims.  They criticize those things to make their victims feel those special things about them aren’t really special, not because they mean what they are saying.  They know they are lying, even though they won’t admit it.  Just remember that, & give their lies no credibility. 

Starting today, please start reminding yourself often that you matter, because you truly do matter!  And while you’re at it, ask God to show you that you matter.  He will be more than happy to do so!

My Podcasts

As I mentioned some time back, I decided to give up making videos & just go with podcasts. I have added them to a bunch of different podcast sites, so I thought I would share them here for those of you who are a fan of podcasts. I hope you decide to check them out sometime! If your favorite podcast site isn’t on this list, then please let me know. I’ll try to add it.

Amazon Music:

https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/636257ca-b20e-4c80-b0c4-76c6da81d4b6/cynthia-bailey-rug

Anchor By Spotify:

Apple Podcasts:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cynthia-bailey-rug/id1632080095

Castbox:

https://castbox.fm/channel/id3103069?utm_source=podcaster&utm_medium=dlink&utm_campaign=c_3103069&utm_content=Cynthia%20Bailey-Rug-CastBox_FM

Google Podcasts:

https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy8yNWViYmY5OC9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==

iheartradio:

Overcast:

https://overcast.fm/itunes1519449931/cynthia-bailey-rug

Player fm:

https://player.fm/series/cynthia-bailey-rug

Pocketcasts:

https://pca.st/3qvsb30s

Podbean:

https://www.podbean.com/podcast-detail/32zdh-12d533/Cynthia-Bailey-Rug-Podcast

RadioPublic:

Soundcloud:

Spotify:

Stitcher:

https://www.stitcher.com/show/cynthia-baileyrug

Tune In:

https://tunein.com/podcasts/Religion–Spirituality-Podcas/Cynthia-Bailey-Rug-p1728318/

10% Off My Print Books

My publisher is offering 10% off my print books until August 5, 2022 when you use code MAKER10 at checkout.

My books can be found at the link below..

https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/cynthiabaileyrug

Doing Something New

As I mentioned some time back, I decided to abandon making YouTube videos in favor of podcasts since they are much easier for me to make. And thankfully, they have been well received!

Because they have been doing well, I decided to expand where they can be accessed. My podcasts now be found on many platforms. Those links are below. I hope you will check them out!

So far, I’m still figuring this all out as I go. Not entirely sure what I’m doing at the moment, so please just bear with me! Plus, writing is my top priority & has been since God told me many years ago it was my purpose. This means podcasts aren’t going to get as much of my attention. I don’t have any particular schedule with them, so I won’t release new ones faithfully every day, week or even month. I release them a few at a time periodically. I have been pretty lazy about doing this over the last year or so, & I apologize for that. It’s changing, I promise! I just had so much happening in my life in the recent past, my work has fallen too far behind.

So anyway, here is the list of where my podcasts can be found. I hope you find a platform that you like, & will listen to them. Thank you as always for reading & supporting my work! I hope it blesses you as much as you bless me!

Amazon Music:

https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/636257ca-b20e-4c80-b0c4-76c6da81d4b6/cynthia-bailey-rug

Anchor By Spotify:

https://anchor.fm/cynthiabaileyrug

Apple Podcasts:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cynthia-bailey-rug/id1632080095

Castbox:

https://castbox.fm/channel/id3103069?utm_source=podcaster&utm_medium=dlink&utm_campaign=c_3103069&utm_content=Cynthia%20Bailey-Rug-CastBox_FM

Google Podcasts:

https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy8yNWViYmY5OC9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==

Overcast:

https://overcast.fm/itunes1519449931/cynthia-bailey-rug

Pocketcasts:

https://pca.st/3qvsb30s

RadioPublic:

https://radiopublic.com/cynthia-baileyrug-6BonBp

Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/show/5aY76eAGa3xOfVMimiQMai

Stitcher:

https://www.stitcher.com/show/cynthia-baileyrug