In this past year or so, I’ve realized that certain things trigger my anger extremely fast. I’m not talking about losing my temper easily or being abusive with my anger, but feeling very angry quicker than I ever had before. At first, I thought maybe it’s my age. Middle age seems to get rid of the tolerance for a lot of things a person tolerated in their youth. I also thought it might be because of all of the really negative, unfair & traumatic things I have been through in my life. Add in a traumatic brain injury in 2015, & getting angry faster & easier than I used to seemed normal since that can be one of the symptoms of TBIs. In considering my situation though, none of those felt like the cause. In time, I realized the closer I get to God, the angrier I am.
It sounds wrong, doesn’t it? It sounds opposed to Christianity as people think of it whether or not they are Christians. Yet, there are valid reasons for me feeling as I do. I can’t help but think other Christians may experience what I do, so my hope is what I share with you will help you as well.
I have absolutely no tolerance anymore for certain things, & when I witness them or hear about them, I become furious. Those things are when people think they are better than others, liars, those who deliberately hurt innocent people, people who love to do plan & do wicked things, & people who talk badly about others for no reason. These things are typical behavior of narcissists & their flying monkeys. I have experienced them firsthand thanks to narcissists & their flying monkeys that have been in my life, so it’s only natural to hate them. Yet that hatred has gotten worse in the recent past. Did you know though that God also hates these things? Proverbs 6:16-19 in the Amplified Bible state: “These six things the Lord hates; Indeed, seven are repulsive to Him: 17A proud look [the attitude that makes one overestimate oneself and discount others], a lying tongue, And hands that shed innocent blood, 18A heart that creates wicked plans, Feet that run swiftly to evil, 19A false witness who breathes out lies [even half-truths], And one who spreads discord (rumors) among brothers.”
Interestingly, I also remembered Romans 12:9 in the New International Version of the Bible. It says, “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.”
Considering both of these Scriptures, I think the anger I experience makes a lot of sense. When you get especially close to a person, you often develop some of their characteristics, such as their mannerisms & some of their ways of thinking. Getting closer to God is no different. The closer a person gets to Him, the more they become like Him in many ways. A part of this is those things that once were tolerable are no longer tolerable if they go against God. These things that stir up the most awful anger in me are specifically things that God speaks against & hates! They also are evil & we are commanded to hate what is evil. You can’t hate something without feeling anger at that thing. It is only normal!
I know many people think Christians never should feel anger or hatred, but that isn’t Biblical! Evil things should stir up anger & yes, even hatred in Christians. Not feeling anger or hatred at such things normalizes them, & really, it even condones them. Absolutely nothing good can come from that whatsoever! If that was the case, God certainly wouldn’t hate the things that He does.
If certain things trigger an uncharacteristic anger or even hatred in you, I would like to encourage you to pray. Also consider your situation. I would guess that you started feeling this way as you got closer to God as I have. If this is the case, there is nothing wrong with you or your feelings! It’s ok, & even Godly to view things as God does. Your feelings also can be excellent motivators. Mine motivate me to keep writing & to keep speaking openly about narcissistic abuse & refuse to tolerate abusive behavior from anyone. Certainly these are good things!
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