I’ve noticed many people feel they must share any & all opinions, no matter whether or not other people asked them for those opinions & no matter how negative those opinions are. Probably this is due to social media, & the ability to say anything without fear of any real repercussions from most “friends”. Whatever the reason, it is highly annoying! It seems nothing is a safe topic of discussion anymore.
If you think about it, you probably will realize how many folks share their less than encouraging opinions freely, no matter the topic. Mention your thoughts on children, for example, whether or not to have children, your feelings on abortion or child rearing. People will come out of nowhere to tell you how wrong you are & why you should think the same way they do. Some folks tell those who have children things like they weren’t a real parent because they only had one child, they have too many children if they have more than one, or they were wrong for bottle feeding over breast feeding. Then there are others who are adamantly against abortion because they say life is precious, yet these same people have no problem discussing their disdain for so called dirty or dumb animals & insulting vegetarians or vegans.
It amazes me that people think that their opinions are so incredibly important that they must be shared freely & with every single person they meet!
Chances are you will be subjected to this obnoxious situation at some point in your life. And, if you’re a victim of narcissistic abuse, it can be very upsetting. After experiencing the constant criticisms of a narcissist, you easily can become completely fed up with hearing such negativity. That is understandable! After experiencing this situation though I realized some things, & I want to share these things with you today.
You may never be ok with such behavior. For one thing, it can trigger the same emotions you felt when the narcissist in your life tried to hurt you by telling you how terrible your feelings, opinions, thoughts, & everything about you were. Early in healing, this behavior is very hard to handle because of that. The more you heal though, the better you learn to handle triggering behavior of other people. You see it for what it is, & handle the situation accordingly.
It’s also highly insulting when someone criticizes things that are important to you. Insulting behavior isn’t something anyone should be ok with experiencing! That being said though, the more you heal, the less it bothers you. As you heal, you care less & less what other people think of you. You realize their opinions are just that. Theirs! You also realize what they think is best for you isn’t necessarily what truly is best for you. Only you know what is best for you.
What becomes more offensive than the opinions of other people is the fact that they are comfortable being disrespectful to you. It can be very helpful to recognize why this person feels this way. They may simply recognize you as a safe person for venting their anger or frustration at themselves on, which is why they mistreat you. Or, this behavior may realize this person is a narcissist. In any case, whether the person’s intentions towards you were malicious or not, it’s important to exercise healthy boundaries. You don’t deserve to be mistreated.
Recognizing why they treat you this way can be very helpful too, because you see that their behavior isn’t about you. It’s about them & their own dysfunction.
Unfortunately, many people seem to think they must have & share opinions on everything. Although that is a waste of time to more functional individuals who recognize that they don’t need to have opinions on everything, let alone share them with everyone, dysfunctional people don’t see that. Learning to deal with these people in a healthy way is a very useful skill to help you live a peaceful life.