Tag Archives: mental disorders

A Frequent Problem Among Victims Of Narcissistic Abuse

Recently I learned something very interesting & also useful for those of us affected by narcissistic abuse.  We are very prone to Cluster C personality disorders.

 

Cluster C personality disorders involve OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), Avoidant Personality Disorder & Dependent Personality Disorder:

 

  • OCD involves obsessive, perfectionistic type thoughts.  We need consistency, organization & routine.
  • APD means we are so socially anxious, we avoid social interaction as much as possible.  We are deathly afraid of ridicule or criticism.  We also have very low self esteem.
  • DPD involves indecisiveness, the need for reassurance, clingy behavior, & a fear of being alone.

 

If this describes you, please know you are not alone.  After reading this information, I realized these disorders describe me very well.  I would feel very safe in assuming it’s not just me.  These traits describe so many of us who have experienced narcissistic abuse that I have talked to.

 

There is also one positive note in that personality disorders describe behavior, which means they can be changed.  Personality disorders describe a behavior rather than physical brain damage, so that means they can be changed.

 

So how do you change these dysfunctional & unhealthy behaviors?  In all honesty, I’m not really sure.  Since I just learned about Cluster C disorders, I really don’t know much about them just yet.  I do know, though, that God is the best place to start dealing with any problem.  Since I just learned this information earlier today, I plan to spend some time in prayer later today when I have some uninterrupted private time to try to figure out where to start.  I’m going out on a limb here to say I think God will want me to start with asking Him to tell me the truth.  “Do I really need to be so anxious around other people?  Is it right for me to be so perfectionisitic, so hard on myself?  What is the real truth in these situations?”  (as an example).  That is always a great place to start, listening to God tell you the truth.  He will, & His words are full of healing power.

 

I’m sorry I don’t have more information to share at this moment, but I will share as I learn.    Hopefully it will benefit you as well as me, Dear Readers!  xoxo

Advertisements

9 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

December 18, 2013

Good morning, Dear Readers!

Last night I was thinking & praying.  God has given me a few purposes in my life..

  1. To help open people’s minds (such as with what I have learned about His immense love for animals & how people should treat them, as is the subject of my book “Pawprints On Our Hearts”)
  2. To show people the damage that can be done by child abuse.  Not only abusers in the hopes that they will change their ways, but to victims as well.  So many victims think they are crazy or have done something to deserve the abuse when nothing could be further from the truth.  Many also think the damage done to them doesn’t matter, because they believe they don’t matter.  Well, it *does* matter!  Everyone deserves a chance to be healthy & happy.  When you acknowledge the damage done to you, you can start to heal.
  3. To let people know they aren’t alone.  There are others who understand.
  4. To share what I learn about healing with other abuse survivors.

As I was pondering these things, I felt that today I should write to let everyone reading this blog post know that you are truly NOT alone!  Many people who read my work have contacted me, & have survived terrible abuse, usually at the hands of their parents.  I understand that completely!  Even if the abuse we survived was different, the basics are still the same- your parent cared more about his/her own needs than yours, made you feel unloved & unimportant, & only there to fulfill the parent’s needs instead of the parent caring for yours. 

And, if you have survived abuse, many survivors have Complex PTSD.  Just because you haven’t yet been diagnosed, doesn’t mean you don’t have it.  I had quite a few symptoms of C-PTSD my entire life- anxiety, depression, exaggerated startle response, hypervigilence, peridoic insomnia & agoraphobia- but not until the spring of 2012 did almost all of the symptoms fully develop.  Symptoms of C-PTSD may include:

  • Difficulty regulating emotions.
  • Depression.
  • Anxiety.
  • Panic attacks.
  • Forgetting traumatic events.
  • Flashbacks &/or intrusive memories.
  • Nightmares (about the traumatic events or not).
  • Insomnia or difficulty staying asleep.
  • Hypervigilence (intense awareness of the emotions of others & surroundings, looking for danger).
  • Exaggerated startle response.
  • Withdraw from others.
  • Agoraphobia (fear of leaving home).
  • Dissociation (the feeling of being outside one’s body, not being all “there.”).
  • Anger (turned outwards towards others or inward in the form of self destructive behaviors such as promiscuity or addictions).
  • Low self-esteem. 

If after reading this, you realize you have symptoms of C-PTSD, if possible, seek out counseling with a counselor who specializes in trauma/abuse.  Don’t take it lightly!  C-PTSD is a serious disorder, potentially even life threatening.  If the depression gets really bad, it can lead to suicidal thoughts.  If you get to that point, God forbid! please call 911, a loving & supportive friend, or even the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at:  1- 800-273-TALK (8255). 

If you don’t have insurance or the money for counseling, check into your local Department Of Mental Health, or churches.  Many offer counseling for free or charge low fees.  If that is still not an option for you, there are some ways to cope on your own.  That is what I have done, & while I can’t say life is perfect, I do think under the circumstances, I’m doing pretty well.  I take valerian root for anxiety, St. John’s wort sometimes for depression, & an all natural sleep aid.  I am learning to listen to what my mind & body need- if I need to go out, but don’t feel up to it, I get quiet & see how I feel.  If I’m feeling like I can handle it, I go out.  If I feel overwhelemed, I don’t go.  I will push myself to go out sometimes, but not every time I need to, because that can lead to more problems.  It can lead to greater anxiety about leaving home, which in turn makes the agoraphobia worse in the long run.  Some days, I find I need a lot of down time- I relax with a movie, knitting, or whatever helps me relax.  I have learned the value of getting quiet, & letting God speak what I need to do for that situation.  It always comes to me in the form of a knowing feeling.  Any time I have listened to that, it has helped me tremendously to deal with my symptoms.   

Leave a comment

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Christian Topics and Prayers, Mental Health, Welcome To My Blog!