My New Book Is Available!!

I finished my latest book, “Life After Narcissistic Abuse: There Is Healing and Hope”!!!  YAY  ME!!

This book is all about describing the variety of symptoms survivors of narcissistic abuse experience, & offering some suggestions on how to cope with & heal from them.  I have learned a lot in the last couple of years about this topic, especially in the last few months, & put it all in this book.  God has showed me so much, & I’m praying what I have learned will help others as well.

If you’d like to check it out, you can see it & all of my books at  www.CynthiaBaileyRug.com

Meet The Newest Member Of The Bailey/Rug Family!

This beautiful little lady is Minnie Rose…

Is she not the prettiest little diva kitty?

I thought that I’d share her cuteness with those of you who follow my blog since so many of you are also die-hard animal lovers like myself.

Minnie Rose is about 1 year old (I think a little under a year) & a dilute tortoiseshell.  True to the tortie nature, she’s very quirky & talkative, & has the sweetest, softest little meow!  She’s a real purr machine too- a little rub on the head & she’s purring happily.  She’s never been around other cats aside from her birth family, so she’s had a little trouble getting used to having a big family.  I’m proud of her though, as it only took her about a week to come out of her shell.  She’s a little skittish around the other cats still, but it’s improving drastically by the day.

She is so funny- she chose her name!  She hid for her first few days, so I didn’t really get to know her well enough to name her yet.  I could see the inner diva, & was thinking of possibly calling her Aretha, after Aretha Franklin.  As I got to know her better though, I thought she seemed more like a Minnie.  She wasn’t impressed.  On a whim, I called her Minnie Rose- my great grandmother’s name.  Immediately her entire demeanor changed!  She became relaxed & more confident.  Since then, Miss Minnie Rose has been coming out of her shell more with each passing moment.  It’s a beautiful thing to see!

The other cats & dog love her already.  Luke, one of my Norwegian forest cat mix boys, is quite protective of her.  Punkin, my young orange tabby, has quite a crush on her- he howls that tom cat howl when he’s around her.  Chester, my 8 year old tuxedo, flirted with her when she hissed at him until she relaxed completely.  Sabrina, my 3 year old black medium hair girl, & Valentine, a 5 year old tortie, are on very friendly terms with Minnie Rose.  The other cats are giving her space until  she is more comfortable, I think.  Dixie, my 11 year old American eskimo dog was playing with her a couple of days ago.  It’s been so awesome to see everyone welcoming Minnie Rose into the family so lovingly.  *shameless furmom brag moment*

Minnie’s former owners said she hid a lot under the bed.  I think she was hit too, because if I move too quickly or she hears an angry tone of voice, she flinches.  She is flinching less though, & I think it’s because she is realizing she’s in a safe, happy, loving home now.  That’s making her more confident

I’m looking forward to many happy, fun years with little Minnie Rose.  She is already a blessing to our little family.  🙂

My New Book Is Almost Ready For Publishing!

Good news!

My current book, “It’s All About ME! The Facts About Maternal Narcissism” is almost ready for publishing in print & ebook forms! I am hopeful to have this done in the very near future. I’d like to say within a few days, but since I never know how I’m going to feel (thank you, C-PTSD), I’ll say within a couple of weeks instead just to be safe. I will post when it is published, & share links of where the books can be purchased.

Thank you everyone for your support & encouragement while writing this difficult book!

What’s Happening In My Little World…

Good evening, Dear Readers!  I thought I’d share an update on what’s been happening with me…

Thankfully, I’m starting to feel better after my losses last month.  It’s incredible to me- as painful as grief is, C-PTSD makes it even harder.  The usual symptoms I live with daily- anxiety, depression, hyper-vigilence- were magnified greatly for a while.  Thankfully, they’re returning to normal though, which I’m very grateful for.  Especially since I’m returning to work on my newest book…

The book, about maternal narcissism, is around halfway done.  It’s flowing well!  I’m not sure when it’ll be done, but I’m hoping in the fall.  It’s not too late- I’m still open to input on subject matter for the book.  Feel free to comment on this post or email me at: CynthiaBaileyRug@AOL.com

My mother is still giving me the silent treatment, with the exception of a call last Saturday.  Judging by some of her nasty comments of the few times she’s spoken to me in the last six or so months, I’m quite sure someone has told her what I write about.  While a part of me is nervous, waiting on the narcissistic rage, most of me simply doesn’t care.  I’m telling the truth, I’m writing my story & not hers so I have the right, I’m writing about what I believe God wants me to write about & I’m helping people.  I don’t need anyone’s approval.  🙂

What An Interesting Day..

This morning, I was thrilled to learn my Facebook page & tumble pages gained more followers, & I sold several books in the last 2 weeks.  Since things had been quiet for a bit, I was thrilled.  Obviously!   🙂

This afternoon, I went about my usual Sunday routine around my home, doing some little chores, taking care of the fur kids, etc.  While ironing hubby’s work shirts, I thanked God repeatedly for today’s good news.  And..that was when things took an interesting turn..

I almost never hear God’s voice audibly- instead when He speaks to me, I have a strong knowing in my heart of what He wants to say.  Today, I just knew I need to start writing a book about narcissistic mothers.

Yep.  God has a sense of humor.  This is the last thing I’ve wanted to write.  Ever.  I’m no therapist with several degrees.  I also dread the thought that one day, my mother’s minions (aka her flying monkeys- heeheehee!) may find out about my work, & tell her, since she doesn’t own a computer.  How I dread that narcissistic rage that would follow!

Yet, I know I must do this.  I just started a few moments ago with some vague notes on an outline, & things are already flowing- always the sign I’ll write a good book.

Seriously, God?  Couldn’t I write a fun fiction story??  What about animals instead??  I love them!  They’re fun to write about!  Narcissistic mothers??  Not so much…

So, if you wonderful people would do me the tremendous favor of praying with me that I don’t give up writing it no matter what, & that this book will be informative & help many, many people, I would truly appreciate it.  Thank you so much, & may God richly bless each & every one of you!  I love you & am praying for you!  🙂

September 3, 2013

Hello, Dear Readers! I just wanted to let you know that my latest book, “You Are Not Alone!” (for adult daughters of abusive/dysfunctional mothers) is now available in paperback on amazon!

http://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Alone-Cynthia-Bailey-Rug/dp/1304304841/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1378232378&sr=8-1&keywords=cynthia+bailey-rug

And, it is available on smashwords if you prefer an ebook version..

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/347669

August 18, 2013

I just published the ebook version of my latest book, “You Are Not Alone!” It is now available for purchase at smashwords.com!!  Come check it out!

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/347669

August 7, 2013

I finished the print version of my latest book today!!! I am waiting for the proof copy to arrive so I can approve it, then the book goes onto amazon & other online book sellers. You can find it at this url:

http://www.lulu.com/shop/cynthia-bailey-rug/you-are-not-alone/paperback/product-21147921.html

Tomorrow, I’ll work on creating the ebook version. Will post when that is available…

August 6, 2013

Good news!  My newest book, “You Are Not Alone!” for daughters of abusive mothers is almost ready for publishing!  I have about half of it left to edit, then I will publish it!!  I am hoping to get it done tomorrow.  🙂

August 4, 2013

Good morning, Dear Readers!  I hope this post finds you well today!

I’ve been working on my newest book, “You Are Not Alone!”  for daughters of abusive mothers.  It’s almost done!!  One final look over, then off to the publisher.  Then, I’ll make an ebook version.

Strange thing about this book.. I’ve had a hunch I’ll end up hearing some things I do NOT like to hear about this book, like, “You can’t keep holding onto the past..”  “Get over it”  “You can’t let this stuff get you down.”  Basically, the same invalidating things I’ve heard ever since I realized my mother was abusive.  I’ve already heard a few comments.

The truth is, I really don’t care what people think about me, especially when they are speaking out of pure ignorance.  Even so, it really is irritating to hear the same type of stupid & insensitive comments over & over again.  Why can’t people realize if they can’t say something nice, not to say anything at all??  

I write so much on the topic of surviving abuse because I believe it is what God wants me to do, at least at this time in my life.  He would not have let me go through all I have for no reason!  Helping others makes my lifetime of abuse count for something, & I know beyond a doubt I am helping others.  I have gotten plenty of emails telling me how much I have helped people.  

Also, just because I have Complex PTSD doesn’t mean I am “wallowing” in my pain, haven’t forgiven my mother for all she has done to me or am weak.  I have forgiven her.  I harbor no ill will towards her at all.  However, that still doesn’t heal the damage that has been done.  Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is unlike other types of mental disorders.  The traumatic events that caused C-PTSD actually physically damaged the brain.  Four areas are damaged- short term memory, language skills (finding the right words), emotional regulation & anxiety.  This is a medical fact & does not mean I am weak or “wallowing” in my past.  What it means is that I am damaged as a result of it- I reacted normally to an abnormal amount of trauma.

Whether you have been abused yourself or know someone who has been, please never, ever trivialize the experience!  Abuse is painful & life changing.  If you know someone who has been abused, think before speaking about this topic.  If you can’t say something nice or encouraging, don’t say anything at all!  

June 29, 2013

Happy Saturday, Dear Readers!  🙂

I just thought I’d let you know that I have finally finished redoing my website.  Not a lot of changes, but a few.  Go check it out:

www.CynthiaBaileyRug.com

I still can’t believe the external hard drive crashed & I lost the site *sighs* but at least it’s online & fully functional again.  Now to get back to the latest book, “You Are Not Alone!”  There isn’t much left to do on the book.. more editing, then designing the covers & off to the publisher it goes before promotion.  As soon as the publisher has the book, it will be available for purchase in ebook form as well as print on my website.  I’ll announce it here, & it should be happening in the next few weeks, barring any further setbacks.

Thank you everyone for your patience & understanding!

June 24, 2013

Hell, Dear Readers!  I hope this post finds you well today!  I’m praying for you.  🙂

Again, I do apologize for not writing in this blog more often.  Things have been so busy lately.  Lots of stuff going on in my personal life.  Also had a lot of bad C-PTSD days.  Plus, since one of my external hard drives died, I’ve had to redo my website from scratch (gggrrrrr…) which although not hard, is VERY time consuming for me.  So maddening!  I can’t make any changes on it until I redo it then can upload the new changes.  It’s almost entirely done now, thank God.. I just need to proofread it & get it online.  Then I can get back to finishing my latest book, “You Are Not Alone!” for daughters of abusive mothers.  It will be coming out very soon, although at the moment I’m not certain how soon.  Within a month or two. 

I also have some rather strange yet I hope good news.. my relationship with my mother is improving.  This past week has been different.  She is kinder, gentler & more understanding with me.  She has 2 cousins that she is close to, who fight depression, as do  2 of their children.  They have been discussing their symptoms with her, & it seems to be opening her eyes.  She asked me Saturday if I’ve ever had problems with depression.  I went out on a limb, & admitted that I have & do.  I was hesitant to do it, but I felt in my heart I had to, that God wanted me to. 

In all honesty, I can’t say I trust this entirely.  That would be naive.  But, I can say that she is acting different.. there is something I can’t put my finger on about how she is acting that shows me she is really trying for once.  I am hoping this is a true change in our relationship.  I am being cautious, but feel hopeful, possibly for the first time in my life.  I covet your prayers, Dear Readers, but especially now in this very unusual situation.  Thank you in advance!

June 14, 2013

Good morning, Dear Readers. 

I’m so sorry it’s been a while since my last blog entry.  It’s been a really difficult couple of weeks.  Lots of bad C-PTSD days, computer problems, external hard drive crashes (losing some really valuable files.. GGRRR!) & more. 

On a positive note, I have made a lot of progress towards finishing my current book, “You Are Not Alone!” for daughters of abusive mothers.  I’m about halfway through my second draft, then a final edit, design the cover & off to the publsher it goes!  I’m excited- I am hoping & praying it will help a lot of people.  I am learning more almost daily on the topic, so  I am including as much information as possible in this book.  It amazes me how God keeps showing me things constantly!  It not only describes various types of abusive mothers, it gives tips on how to cope with them & the fathers who failed to protect us, how to heal & even a small devotional & encouraging affirmations.

Have a great day, everyone, & I’m praying for you!  🙂

June 5, 2013

If any of you have watched the movie, “Finding Forester,” you probably remember Sean Connery’s line to an up & coming young writer… “You write your first draft with your heart, your second with your head.” 

Today, I have finished my “heart” draft of my newest book entitled, “You Are Not Alone!” It will be published by mid summer for sure. I have to go back & add some more to it, edit, & design the covers, then it’s off to the publisher. 

The book will offer information on dealing with an abusive mother, how to identify problems that stem from her abuse, & how to heal.

March 31, 2013 (2)

Hello again, Dear Readers!

I was looking at the stats on my website (www.CynthiaBaileyRug.com, in case you haven’t checked it out yet).  It looks like more than anything else, the information on there about dysfunctional mothers is what gets attention.  I mentioned this to my husband, who had a great idea.  He suggested I write a book on this topic.  Information about some types of dysfunctional mothers & how to cope with them, & letting women know that they aren’t alone.  So many daughters of these mothers think no one else understands, when the truth is many, many others do!  

I thought I would post the question to you.. what would you like to see included in a book on the topic of dysfunctional mother/daughter relationship?  Feel free to reply to this post, or email me at CynthiaBaileyRug@aol.com, if you prefer privacy.  

Thank you in advance for your input!  I look forward to hearing from you!  🙂

December 18, 2012

Good afternoon, Dear Readers!  I hope this post finds you doing well today.

I was wondering something.  I’ve begun a new book, & the last couple of days, I’ve been thinking maybe it’s too old fashioned or since there’s nothing really “inspirational” or Christian about it, it may be a turn off to some readers.  Tell me what you think…

It takes place in the Victorian era in Annapolis, MD.  It’s about a recently married couple.  The husband tries to drive his wife insane, & recruits the help of the pretty young maid he’s having an affair with.  He’s told the maid this is his sister, not his wife.  The wife discovers he’s having an affair by talking to the maid, who is very upset at learning this is his wife.  The maid tells the wife he wants to drive her insane so he can have her locked away & have access to her money.  Together, the women decide to drive him insane instead.

What do you think?  Would you read this book??  Thank you for your input!  🙂

December 5, 2012

Started tinkering a bit with a new book today.. 🙂 Should be an interesting story, I think. If you liked the movie “Gaslight,” you’ll like this one- it’s going to be about a couple in the Victorian era. He married her for her money, & tries to drive her crazy to get to it. She catches on & instead makes him crazy. Not sure of all the details yet, though.  Will work details out as the story progresses, as  I usually do.

October 4, 2012

Good evening, Dear Readers!  

This has been one productive week for me.  I have made tremendous progress on the new book!  Today alone, I wrote almost 7,000 words, plus did some editing on previously written things.  The book is at 125 pages at the moment, with more to come.  I would guess it will be somewhere around 180 or so when it is finished.  Not the longest book you’ll ever read, but I am hoping among the best…