Tag Archives: new

Your Perceptions Of People Aren’t Always Accurate

People can have very strange ways of looking at things.  They clearly look at things through their own experiences, which of course is to be expected.  Many times though, people also forget that there are other perspectives.

Many of my family members have made it very clear that they think I was spoiled by my parents, & have led an easy life without a care in the world.

What these people saw & what the truth was are VERY different things.

My family saw me barely allowed to leave my mother’s side at family gatherings, & assumed this meant we were close.  They had no idea that meant she controlled my every move & I was afraid to protest.  They saw me dressed in clean, decent clothing & assumed that meant all of my needs were met.  They didn’t realize there are more needs that parents should meet than food, clothing & shelter.  It was those needs that were neglected in my life.  They also saw me as a quiet child who didn’t complain about anything, so they assumed all was right in my world.  Obviously they didn’t understand that abused children don’t usually complain.  They know that if it was discovered that they said anything derogatory about their abusive parent, they would face that parent’s wrath, so they keep complaints to themselves.  They also didn’t know I was afraid to say anything that could be met with my mother’s disapproval.

This is typical of many people.  They see things & make assumptions based on their own experiences or even fantasies rather than keeping an open mind. 

This is going to happen to you at some point as it has me, & when it does, please remember that what other people think isn’t necessarily important.  You were there, you lived the situation.  They were not.  They saw appearances only, not the truth behind the façade.  Don’t let these people downplay anything traumatic or treat you badly because they have made foolish assumptions about you. 

I have found that people who make snap judgments are often unsafe people or at the very least, very wounded people who aren’t trying to heal from their wounds.  Some distance may be the best option for you when you learn someone behaves this way on a regular basis.

Please also remember not to behave the same way as the judge-y people!  When you have been exposed to the horrors of narcissistic abuse, it can be very easy to see everyone as a potential threat.  Not everyone is a narcissist!  Sometimes people act in selfish or very inconsiderate ways because they are going through a tough time.  They are so caught up in their difficult situation that their preoccupation with it is making them behave thoughtlessly.  And, not everyone is a victim of similar circumstances to yours just because they show some similar behavior to yours.  That person who is dealing with terrible anxiety or depression may have a rather good life.  Their problem may be that they survived a brain injury that created problems with anxiety or depression even though they show no other outward signs of brain damage. 

2 Comments

Filed under Mental Health, Abuse and the Healing Journey, Christian Topics and Prayers, Narcissism

Wednesday October 23, 2013

Good morning Dear Readers!

I just thought I’d pop in & say hello!  I also want to thank everyone for their prayers & concern with my kitty, Pretty Boy.  He seems to be feeling a bit better.  I’m not sure his liver is functioning any better- his glucose levels are still all over the place, which goes with the territory for liver problems especially with him already having diabetes.  So for now, the vet wants us to keep doing what we’re doing & take it day by day.  

Also, I’m working on the new book.  I have no clue on a title for it yet, but that will come in time.  As I’ve mentioned before, it’s a psychological thriller set it Victorian era Annapolis, MD.  A man tries to drive his wife insane so he can have full access to her money.  He enlists the help of the young housemaid with whom he’s having an affair.  The wife learns of his plans, & turns the tables on him.  So far, it’s quite a fun book to write, but a bit challenging.  I have a ton of experience with people playing head games, so I know how to write about it.  However it can be somewhat painful because I remember how it feels to  be on the receiving end of them.

Have a blessed day, everyone!  I love you & am praying for you!

Leave a comment

Filed under Animals, Christian Topics and Prayers, Writing

May 1, 2013

Five of my books are coming to amazon within a few weeks! They will be available only in print on amazon for now. Both the ebook and print versions are still available on my website. For further details, click on the “Books For Sale” link at:

www.CynthiaBaileyRug.com

The titles that are coming soon are:

Pawprints On Our Hearts” (What God says about how we should love animals, & how much He loves them)

 
Lessons From The Heart: What Animals Have Taught Me About Life And Love” (beautiful lessons I have learned from the special animals in my life.) 

All I Know About Marriage, I Learned The Hard Way!” (tips to help you have a happier marriage)

Baptism Of Joy” (tips for conquering depression)

Sins Of The Father” (my second jaunt into the fiction genre. When a good, Christian family man is discovered to be a serial killer, his family’s life is turned upside down. His horrible secrets of why he kills come to light, revealing a very wounded victim of ritual abuse)

Check back often- these books should be available within only a few short weeks!  And, check out my author’s page on amazon at:

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Links, Writing

December 14, 2012

Hello, Dear Readers!

I just wanted to let you know that my warning about my website being out of commission ended up not coming to pass!  The site is now hosted at my new web host company, & all is just fine. Not one glitch, no frustration, nothing.  My host company is:  

http://www.hostfor2bucks.com

 

They are very easy to work with, & very inexpensive!  

The website still looks the same, & has all the same features as it had before.  I am thinking it’s time to work on some more free ebooks, though- been a while!  Too long.. If you haven’t been there in a while, check out my site at:

 

http://www.CynthiaBaileyRug.com

 

Wishing everyone a great weekend!  Don’t forget to do something special for yourself today!  🙂

Leave a comment

Filed under Mental Health

November 2, 2012

Happy Friday, Dear Readers! 

My latest book, “Emerging from the Chrysalis” should be available on Barnes & Noble, iBookstore & amazon within 7-10 days in both ebook & print form. It is already available on my website,www.CynthiaBaileyRug.com 

Have a great weekend everyone! ♥

Leave a comment

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Mental Health, Writing

June 5, 2012

Welcome to my new blog!  Apparently my last blogger deleted the old one without notifying me.  Imagine my surprise..lol 

I also want to apologize to everyone for not keeping up with blogging.  I’m not particularly good at it, plus lately, I have been experiencing many personal and family problems that have kept me from working.  Long story short, I believe I have Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  (I say believe because I have not been to a counselor)   Finally I know what is wrong! It gives me hope- after all, you can’t fix a problem if you don’t know what it is!

I am hoping and praying to get back to work soon on my current book that I have been neglecting for way to long.  I still do not feel up to working just yet, but I am sure God has a reason for this break.  One thing of which I am absolutely certain- God has a reason for absolutely everything!   He is absolutely worthy of our trust and love.  🙂

God bless you, Dear Reader.  Thank you for always being there!

2 Comments

Filed under Welcome To My Blog!