I am one of those people who sees things differently than the majority of people. I believe this different perception comes from not only my natural personality but also surviving narcissistic abuse. One way this perception manifests is I often can spot problems quicker than most people. Some time ago, I noticed one of my cats was acting a little bit standoffish. I mentioned this on Facebook & said that I was concerned about her. A friend said, “She probably is just having an off day. Don’t worry about it.” I ignored this comment because I just knew something was wrong. When my cat saw the vet, he diagnosed her with an over active thyroid. If left untreated, it could have caused her serious problems or potentially even killed her.
This also happens with people. If someone I’m close to introduces me to their new boyfriend or girlfriend, I almost immediately pick up on whether or not this person is a good person or not & in time, I’m usually proven right. One former friend of mine married a guy who I didn’t particularly like on first sight. I couldn’t put my finger on it that day, but something felt off to me even though the guy said & did all the right things. It didn’t take long & I realized this guy wanted to isolate my friend. I knew he was going to end our friendship soon. In less than one year after we met, my friend married him & only two weeks after the wedding, the new husband started an argument with me that caused me to lose my friend of over 20 years.
To me, this different way of looking at things is a gift. In those two examples I provided, I was able to get my beautiful kitty the help she needed before her thyroid caused her more serious problems & I also wasn’t blindsided by the dissolution of my friendship because I could see it coming long before it happened. Good stuff if you ask me! However, other people don’t share that opinion. Many people can be critical of people like me who can spot things easily. I want to help you today.
One thing people have said to me is I’m just looking for problems. Spotting problems easily isn’t “just looking for problems.” It’s being aware, which is not a bad thing at all! Being aware helps you to know how to deal with people & situations.
Similarly is a comment about trying to start drama. So much no to this one. Nothing about the truth is starting drama. The truth really does set you free like nothing else & it is a very wonderful thing!
Another comment people have said is that it’s too negative to be like this, because I only see the bad. This is another thing that is not true! People who are highly in tune with potential problems also are equally in tune with good things. I spot red flags in people just as quickly as I spot “green flags”, those things that show someone is a good person. The green flags cause me to relax, unlike the red flags that get my guard up. On the outside it can look as if I’m ignoring the good & focusing on the bad. This isn’t the case though, as those of you reading this know since you probably do the exact same thing!
If you are someone who sees things differently, then ignore the nay sayers. Enjoy this quality about yourself & use it no matter who disapproves of it! God has given you a great gift, so use it & use it well! It will help you time & time again & also enable you to have good relationships, so why shouldn’t you use it?