Growing up with narcissistic parents, you learn early on that to show respect means that you tolerate abuse, blindly obey & never talk back or confront your parents about the abuse they inflicted on you. Since you are ignored & invalidated, you also knew that you are unworthy of this so-called respect.
The fact is though that none of this is real respect! It is some mock version of respect narcissists teach their kids so they can justify their abuse.
If you too grew up with such a skewed view of respect, then it’s time to get a healthier perspective.
Respect should be mutual in a healthy relationship. Both parties should care about each other & each other’s needs & feelings.
Respect is earned, not demanded. My mother used to tell me that she demanded respect, which is entirely wrong! A person can command respect with their actions, but demanding respect never works out well. When a person is ordered to give someone respect, that person is immediately turned off to the demanding one.
There is absolutely nothing respectful about tolerating abuse. Standing up for yourself shows that you have self-respect, that you care enough about yourself to want better & to know that you deserve better treatment.
Saying “no” can be a very respectful thing. Allowing someone to have their way at all times shows that you have no self-respect. Enforcing healthy boundaries however, shows you respect yourself. It also shows that you care enough about the other person to want them to do better, because boundaries encourage good behavior.