Tag Archives: social

How Narcissists Use Social Media

Narcissists are experts at using any tool at their disposal to victimize a person of their choosing or to gain their coveted narcissistic supply.  Social media is an excellent way to accomplish these things.

Social media provides an excellent way for a narcissist to stalk, harass  & victimize you.  I’ve been on the receiving end of being harassed this way.  One stalker kept liking my Facebook writing page, even though I repeatedly deleted & banned her.  Somehow she found a way to like it anyway!  I eventually shut the page down & created a group instead, which turned out to be much better anyway.  You don’t need a page for this to happen though- your personal social media pages can provide a wealth of information.  Be sure to keep personal information either off your page entirely or make absolutely certain your settings are set so only your friends can see it.  Any personal information can be used by the wrong person to victimize you.

Triangulation is also possible on social media.  If someone on your friends list doesn’t know your history with your narcissist, that narcissist may send that person a friend’s request, your friend becomes your narcissist’s friend, that person may innocently share all kinds of private information about you.  Or, maybe your friend knows the story & believes you wronged your narcissist.  That “friend” may decide to side with the narcissist, & provide personal information about you with your narcissist so that person can abuse you.

Social media can enable a narcissist to gain plenty of narcissistic supply.  Have you ever noticed when someone shares a selfie how many people tell that person how great they look?  The person could have just come in from a rainstorm but people will say how great they look.  For narcissists, this is supply.  Who doesn’t like to hear how great they look?!  Narcissists take it much farther though.  They crave complements like oxygen.

Narcissists also can bully & provoke others on social media very easily.  They say offensive comments, lie or at least exaggerate to get a response.  They also can sniff out any vulnerability in a person very easily.  All they have to do is see a hint of some area in which a person is sensitive, & they attack.  Victim pages & groups are great for this.  They may join a group, for example, saying they too are a victim of a narcissist.  They’ll tell a story about a tragic childhood or marriage, or they may simply hint at it, saying it’s too difficult to talk about.  When others in the group discuss their experiences though, the narcissist will say their’s is so much worse, shaming the other person.  Or they may say they escaped an abusive relationship & shame others who are still involved in one.

Social media can be a wonderful way to keep up with your loved ones & meet new friends.  You just have to exercise wisdom in using it, especially if there are any narcissists in your life.

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Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Mental Health, Narcissism

Do You Have High Functioning Anxiety?

Most people who live with anxiety are all too aware of the fact.  It’s hard to deny when panic or anxiety attacks strike.  Not everyone with anxiety has the obvious signs, however.  Some people experience a high functioning anxiety, which causes different things to happen.

 

People with high functioning anxiety can appear perfectly calm, but their minds are constantly racing with anxious thoughts.

 

They are often extremely busy, constantly doing something, even unimportant tasks.  “Busy work”.  Yet, they may ignore important tasks, allowing them to get backed up rather than admitting they need help.

 

These people hate to be left alone with their own thoughts.  They keep busy or surround themselves with people.  They also may get lost in TV shows often.

 

So how do you deal with this type of anxiety?

 

You learn to ask for help.  Yes, it’s hard, but you need to do it anyway.  No one can do it all by themselves.  Everyone needs help sometimes!  There’s no shame in asking for help.

 

Get proper rest.  Functioning on not enough sleep is bad for your health as well as anxiety levels.  Being tired makes you even more susceptible to bad anxiety.

 

Take breaks often so you don’t get exhausted.

 

Remind yourself that having anxiety doesn’t mean you’re a failure.  It means you’re human.  It isn’t something of which you need to be ashamed.

 

You also aren’t a failure if you need medication to manage your anxiety.  You wouldn’t feel bad if you needed to take insulin to manage diabetes would you?  Then why feel bad for needing anti anxiety medication?  Illness often requires medication, whether the illness is physical or mental.

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Filed under Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism