I really don’t think there are a lot of people who understand the depths of depravity that it takes for someone to harass & even stalk their victims. Not so long ago, if a person broke up with their significant other, & that person stalked them, it was thought of as almost romantic. “See how much that person loves you? They won’t leave you alone- that is love!” The same sort of mentality was in place if it’s a friendship that ended. “That friend must really care about you if s/he won’t take no for an answer!”
The truth is though, there is nothing loving & romantic about stalkers & harassers. They don’t love their victims. They love having control over their victims & even the narcissistic supply they may get from them, but they do NOT love their victims!
People like this are incredibly dangerous, as was proven here in Maryland recently. By now if you’re in the USA, I’m sure you heard about the shooter at the Capital Gazette newspaper building in Annapolis. If not, here is one article on the topic: https://patch.com/maryland/severnapark/s/ggidf/accused-newspaper-gunmans-rampage-was-almost-8-years-making?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_term=police+%26+fire&utm_campaign=autopost&utm_content=severnapark
Apparently this person who murdered innocent people in cold blood started out harassing someone. His behavior escalated & ended up in mass murder.
People who stalk & harass victims are NOT mentally stable! Something clearly must be wrong with them to think that behavior is acceptable in the first place. Obviously they have narcissistic tendencies at the very least to be so convinced that what they want matters more than the fact they’re terrifying & making their victims miserable, although I’m sure many are malignant narcissists or even sociopaths.
If you are in the position of being harassed or even stalked, please, PLEASE be careful! Never underestimate the person harassing or stalking you. Granted, most do not go as far as the man in this article did, but some do. You don’t know for sure that the person abusing you will or won’t become so violent.
Being stalked & harassed is terrifying, & you have every right to feel afraid! I’ve been through it twice & no one thought it was a big deal aside from me. They couldn’t seem to understand why I lived in terror wondering what was next? What were these people capable of doing to me? No doubt you feel the same way. Do NOT let anyone convince you it’s no big deal, or the person doesn’t mean any harm. Maybe they don’t mean any harm other than to scare you as revenge for severing ties with them. However, maybe they do mean to harm you. You don’t know so don’t trust the person at all!
Ignore this person at all costs. Any acknowledgment you give them, they may take as a sign the relationship is back on.
Do not believe them if they say they just want to talk or to apologize. That is said just to lure you back into their dysfunctional web.
Look into laws for harassment & stalking in your state. Talk to the local police, too. Make sure you know what laws are in place & what you can do to protect yourself.
Use wisdom when & if bringing the law into the situation. Some people aren’t going to be stopped by a restraining order. In fact, some may get more vicious or violent. If you aren’t sure what to do, pray & listen to what God tells you is best in your situation.
Document EVERYTHING! Save voicemail messages, texts, messages & emails. Save all documentation on a cloud storage service or email them to yourself, saving them on your email server. Phones & computers die, & you don’t want to lose your evidence!
Block every possible means of communication this person can use to contact you. Change your phone number & change your name on social media. Chances are, they will find ways around your blocks, so keep blocking them.
Tell people in your life what is happening. Make sure plenty of people know that this person is harassing you & plenty of details about the situation. It can’t hurt to have other people being able to confirm your story to law enforcement if it comes to that.
If the person abusing you comes to your home, a home security system or at least outdoor cameras may be an excellent investment. Many outdoor cameras connect to your cell phone & record video that is stored on a cloud server.
Don’t go out alone if you can help it. Many stalkers aren’t going to bother you if you aren’t alone. Also, if you have a pet, don’t let your pet outside alone. Better safe than sorry!
And remember, it may get worse before it gets better. With any luck, your stalker will get bored that you’ve been ignoring him/her & move on. Prior to moving on though, they will step up the activity. You may get even more emails or phone calls. Keep ignoring them. Do NOT give this person the time of day! Remember they are just trying to get your attention. Refuse to give it to them! If you do, they will draw you back in & things will be even worse than before you ended the relationship. Ignore, ignore, ignore!!
I pray you’re never in this type of situation, but if you are, Dear Reader, stay safe. God bless you! xoxo