Tag Archives: struggle

Why Do Bad People Seem Blessed While Good People Struggle?

Something I’ve wondered about & I’m sure many others have as well is why does it seem like so many bad people lived charmed lives while the rest of us struggle on a daily basis.  I mean, just look at most narcissists as one example- they often go through life with few health problems, while those around them have illnesses & diseases of all kinds.  Many narcissists are very successful in their careers or financially comfortable.  They also never seem to have any consequences for their evil actions.  Meanwhile, their victims are often sick, living with mental illnesses such as C-PTSD, depression & anxiety & often broke financially.

I know, the Bible says we aren’t to worry about this.  Psalm 37:1-4 says, “Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.  2 For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.  3 Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.  4 Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”  (KJV)  I do trust God, & don’t get mired down in envying such people.  But, that doesn’t mean I haven’t been curious over why things are this way.

Recently, the movie “God’s Not Dead” came on television & answered this question for me.  What a fantastic movie!!  If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it.  Anyway, there is one scene where a very successful man visits his aging mother with dementia in the nursing home.  As he visits her, he says that he doesn’t understand why this happened to her.  She prayed & was a very good person, yet this happened to her.  Meanwhile, he had no problem lying or cheating to make his money, & living the good life.  His mother had a moment of clarity, & told him the devil leaves some people alone so they never feel the need to reach out to God for anything.   She quickly returned to her sad, catatonic type state after saying this.  The scene was quite moving.

The wisdom in that lady’s statement made so much sense to me!  It answered a question I’ve had since I became a Christian over 20 years ago.  These people aren’t blessed.  God isn’t blessing them in spite of the bad seeds they sow.  The devil is simply not opposing them like he does with many people.  Instead, he allows these people to live successful lives, so they won’t feel the need to reach out to God.  Most of us became Christians in dark times so it seems logical to have some people avoid dark times thus making them feel no need to reach out to God.

Believe me, I’m not one to blame the devil & his demons for every bad thing.  I believe his power is limited, & he isn’t an impressive foe.  However, I do believe he tries to influence people & creates some bad circumstances with his limited repertoire.  It makes perfect sense to me that he would think this way.

Honestly, I can’t say this is true, or back it up with Scripture.  I’m just saying I think this may be the case.  Since I found it interesting, I thought I would share it with you, Dear Reader, in case you think so too.

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Filed under Christian Topics and Prayers, Narcissism

Emotional Flashbacks- January 10, 2014

Yesterday started out as any other day.. nice, laid back, snuggle time with my kitties.. then I ended up verbally attacked over a difference of opinion on a trivial matter.  While difference in opinions don’t matter to me (everyone is entitled to their opinions), the way it was said triggered a child-like reaction in me.  As a child, if I disagreed with my mother, she acted like I was stupid, my opinion was wrong, I didn’t even deserve to have an opinion & a cause of great embarrassment & shame to her.  (Actually, this still happens even though I’m now in my forties.)  My reaction was to feel deep shame, even panic & wanting to make what I said never have happened.  This is what I felt yesterday.

This is what is known as an emotional flashback, & is a part of having C-PTSD, or Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. They are different from a visual flashback.  Visual flashbacks make you feel as if you are reliving the event.  Emotional flashbacks are when extremely intense emotions from the past are triggered, such as panic, anxiety, shame, guilt, depression & are not proportionate to the situation, yet you know you aren’t reliving any situation.  They can last for a few minutes or hours.  Invalidating comments, nastiness, dirty looks can all trigger an emotional flashback.  

With God’s help yesterday, I learned how to handle emotional flashbacks.  These tips may help you during this distressing time as well.

  • Get alone & get quiet.  Calm yourself down, maybe with deep breathing or whatever relaxes you.  Remind yourself that you are safe, nothing can hurt you.
  • Once calm, try to look at the situation objectively.  Pretend it happened to a friend rather than it happened to you, if that helps.  Ask yourself if your reaction was appropriate or not.  
  • If not, identify your feelings.  For me yesterday shame, panic & wanting to fix things were the prominent emotions.
  • I immediately knew that these emotions were what I felt so often as a child when dealing with my mother.  If you are unsure about your emotions, ask God where is the origin of what you feel.
  • Focus on what He says, & that you know you’re only having a flashback.  You can’t be hurt by it!  You are fine!  Also, you aren’t crazy- you have been though abuse & mind games which is why you’re having the emotional flashback- so don’t worry about being crazy!!
  • In some cases, like mine yesterday, I also had to remember that the person who attacked me isn’t entirely mentally stable.  I’m not sure what is wrong, but something isn’t quite right, if that makes sense.  She acts odd sometimes because of that, I just have to remember to keep a distance, & keep strict boundaries in place with her.  Does this also describe the person who triggered your emotional flashback?

Emotional flashbacks are annoying & very tiresome, but they can be managed.  You can handle them!

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Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health