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Narcissists Are Thieves

Narcissists are thieves in every way.  If they think they can get away with it, they will steal their victims’ money & possessions.  Even more commonly are the intangible items they steal from their victims such as their peace of mind, self esteem & sadly, sometimes even their will to live.

There is truly no end to what they will take from their victims if given the opportunity.  Many of those things they take are things that most people don’t even think about. 

Narcissists steal credit for good things their victims do.  If their coworker does a task well that the narcissist was supposed to help them with, they claim they did all of the work while the coworker at best helped them a little.  If their child displays a skill or talent narcissistic parents claim the child got that talent or skill from them.  According to the narcissistic parent, clearly that child wouldn’t be so good at that activity if it wasn’t for the parent possessing that same skill that they passed down to their child. 

Narcissists steal their victims’ ability to make choices.  It’s the narcissist’s way or no way.  Narcissistic parents make sure their children know that they are allowed zero boundaries.  This means the parent feels entitled to get rid of or destroy the child’s possessions, steal from the child, the child must be completely obedient to the parent no matter what personal cost to the child & more.  With a narcissistic spouse, this means that person married to the narcissist has no right to tell their spouse no on anything.  Narcissistic spouses believe they are entitled to demand anything they want from their spouse including but not limited to their time, paychecks, credit cards, possessions, cars & even their bodies while the victimized spouse isn’t allowed to protest in any way.  Narcissistic friends dictate what the victim does when they are together, who may or may not join them for group activities & even large chunks of their victims’ time. 

Narcissists also steal a victim’s right to independence.  They make their victims dependent on them to force their victims to stay in the relationship.  They do this by stealing their money, ruining their victims’ credit so they can’t move, ruining their relationships with supportive people so they have no one to turn to for help & destroying their victims’ self esteem so badly that they honestly believe that they can’t make it in life without the narcissist helping them.

Narcissists also steal their victims’ right to information in many cases.  This is most common when the narcissist in question is a victim’s parent or spouse.  They isolate the victim so there is no one in that victim’s life that they can tell that the narcissist is being abusive.  They may restrict or even deny their victim’s access to information by not allowing them to have internet access, television or even a car to go places where someone might tell them the truth.

Saying “no” or protesting these behaviors in any way often is met with negative & crazy making behavior such as the silent treatment, guilt trips, shaming, hostility or even rage.

If you are in a relationship with someone who does these things to you, I know it can seem confusing & like giving in is hardly the worst things in the world at the time compared to other things they are doing, but someone who expects you to tolerate this abusive behavior is someone very dangerous to your mental health!  Please get away from this person if at all possible!  Pray, & ask God to show you how to do it.  Also ask Him to give you creative ideas on how to deal with this person.  Start setting small boundaries to begin to take your power back.  That will help show you that you are strong, & you can set more boundaries.  You can do this! 

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Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Narcissism